Back to Reality
by Henrietta R. Hippo
Summary: "Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly, what happened to everyone else?
1. I Wish I Weren't a Country

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?**

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><p>America sighed in frustration, tapping his pen relentlessly against the side of his chin as he waited impatiently for his chance to speak. He never usually had to wait this long, or at all in most cases, but for some reason at this particular meeting; the American was having immense trouble getting a word in edgewise as the rest of the nations yelled and snarled at each other from across the conference table. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea for America to call a world conference meeting in Washington during a time when the whole of Europe were at each other's throats...<p>

"Would all of you just shut up?" England snapped, flinging a scrunched up piece of paper at the people sat opposite him in a bout of anger, "I've made up my mind!"

"You can't possibly think of doing this to us!" Germany snarled, shaking with rage, "Have you no sense of decency?"

England glared at the German, "None of you have wanted to acknowledge me in the past!" he shot accusingly at them all, "Why should I listen to you now?"

Germany stared at him, "What on earth are you talking about?" he asked, hands clenched on the table as he struggled to control his anger, "Are you not even aware of how important you are to Europe?"

America sighed, tapping his foot underneath the table as he waited for the right moment to cut in, hoping to get them all back on track...but it didn't seem like that moment would come anytime soon. "I'm not even part of Europe! I'm on an island all by myself!"

"Just because you're in isolation doesn't mean you should give up on us!" Germany growled at the Brit sat across from him at the large, polished wooden table, "Would you honestly prefer being in splendid isolation than to save the rest of Europe from financial ruin?"

France leant back in his seat, sipping a glass of red wine as he watched the situation with an amused expression, "I say we just let him go, we'll be better off without him."

"You be quiet!" England snapped.

Italy bit his lip, he hated conflict, he reached next to him and gently tugged on the German's sleeve, "Germany...is this all my fault?"

Germany sighed, patting the Italian's arm reassuringly, "No Italy, it's not, it's his fault." he said, nodding towards the Brit.

"How is it my fault?" England snapped, "My country is in its own financial crisis at the moment, so forgive me if I don't feel like helping any of you out with yours!"

Russia looked up from his knitting, smiling at the Brit, "England, become one with Russia da?"

"Oh shut it!"

America cleared his throat, sensing an opportunity, "Uhh guys, I thought we were here to discuss global warming."

China raised a sleeved hand, "I would like to bring up the issue of Japan sticking his nose in other people's business!" he interrupted, shooting a dirty look the Asian's way.

Japan felt unfamiliar waves of anger, matching the enraged stare of his former friend across the table, "You should not be drilling under the sea, it violates the agreement we made!"

China shook his head, disregarding Japan's words, "I remember no such agreement! Anyway it is called the East China Sea and therefore I should be allowed to do whatever I want!"

Japan glared at him, "You have a complete and total disregard for the environment."

America cleared his throat again, trying once more, "Guys, if we could all just pay attention to me for a moment-"

Germany gave a sudden ferocious growl as he caught England's eyes, slamming his fists down on the table, "You can't abandon Europe you little Arschloch!"

England glared at him, pointing an accusing finger the German's way, "Don't think you can start trying to tell me what to do, not after everything _you've_ done to Europe! You stupid Nazi!"

Germany lunged forwards across the table, suddenly enraged, wanting to attack the Brit before he managed to restrain himself; "STOP bringing that up!" he blurted out furiously, face bright red, "You're living in the past!"

America sighed, holding up his hands, "Guys-"

"He iz always living in ze past." France said with a smirk, sipping on his wine.

"He's scaring me..." Italy said softly, shrinking slightly in his seat as both England and Germany were stood at opposing sides of the table, looking ready to pounce any second.

Russia looked up, smiling sweetly, "Italy, become one with Russia da?"

"Anyway I myself never approved of Nazism!" Germany cut in, eyes never leaving the Brit's, "I had no idea what mein leader was doing!"

"Oh like hell you didn't!" England lashed out, holding up his hand in an accusing manner, "I wouldn't be surprised if it's still going on now and you were keeping it secret!"

Germany stared at him in complete and utter disbelief, his eyes darkening, "How DARE you!"

"Germany, become one with-"

"SHUT UP!" both England and Germany snarled at the Russian, simultaneously reaching for something on the table to throw at him.

America was getting annoyed now; it was his meeting for God sake! He got to his feet, needing to grab hold of the situation before it got out of hand, "Guys I think we're all losing sight of what we're really here to talk about."

"What the bloody hell are you going on about America?"

"Global warming! Duh! That's why I called you guys here in the first place, we've really gotta get-"

"Germany? If England leaves us what will happen?" Italy asked, tugging the corner of Germany's sleeve again.

"Hey don't interrupt me!" America said, glaring at him, he hated being ignored.

France stretched back in his seat, yawning slightly, "I don't think anything bad will happen, I say we let ze tea lover leave, good riddance."

England glared at him, "You couldn't survive a day without me as part of Europe, frog!"

America held up his hands, "Hey guys-"

France narrowed his eyes, slowly swivelling the wine around in his glass, "I could survive a day and many more, you 'ave no idea ze lengths I would go to be rid of you, England."

"Uhh guys-"

"Well you're hardly Mr nice guy, Mr easy to deal with you know!" England retorted in a fit of anger.

America glared at them all, getting increasingly frustrated, "Guys-"

Germany sighed irritably, holding up a hand, "Whether or not we enjoy each other's company is regardless! We are all in Europe together und we're just going to have to deal with it!"

America slammed his fists hard on the table to get them all to look up, "Guys!"

England growled slightly, finally turning to face the American at the head of the table, "WHAT America!"

"Stop going on about your crappy little continent! We got bigger things to worry about!"

England rolled his eyes, sighing irritably, "Oh would you stop going on about bloody global warming! As if you care!"

America stared at him, "Dudes forget our countries for a minute, this is about our whole Goddamn planet!" he said, holding out his arms in exasperation.

England scoffed dismissively, "Yes well you're hardly doing your part to stop it are you? You're like what, the biggest polluter on the planet?"

Japan shook his head, "No, I believe that's China."

"Suck balls Japan!" China barked, glaring at him.

Germany rubbed his temples stressfully, "Lets get back to the issues here, Europe is in the biggest crisis since-"

"Dudes!" America yelled, earning their attention again, "I invited you all to Washington to talk about what we're going to do about global warming! Would you all stop talking about other pointless stuff?"

England and Germany's angry expressions matched each other as for once they agreed on something, "Our continent is NOT pointless! Maybe if you would get off your lazy backside und sort out your own countries carbon emissions the world wouldn't be in the state it's in now!"

America glared at them, getting defensive, "Hey this is my meeting and I decide what we talk about!"

"Oh just sit down und shut up." Germany growled.

England nodded, "Agreed."

America swallowed heavily, eyebrow twitching in irritation. He opened his mouth to argue some more but the words died on his tongue, he just couldn't be bothered dealing with them anymore. "Forget it." he muttered softly, gathering his things together, "If you guys wanna just talk about your own problems and ignore the world crisis then forget it." America pushed back his chair and stormed out, "...I'm outta here."

The rest of the nations were silent for a few moments as they watched him go, confused and perhaps just the tiniest bit guilty, aware that they must have hit a nerve with the American if it was enough to make him leave. England sighed deeply, settling down in his seat, running a hand through the hair at the back of his neck, "Maybe we shouldn't have ignored him like that, you know how he hates it."

Germany rolled his eyes, taking his own seat, "Forget about that stupid yank, we can talk about global warming at tomorrows meeting if it means that much to him." he shuffled through the papers on his desk for a few moments before looking up, "...now where were we?"

**~0~**

"Goddamnit those guys are annoying!" America growled irritably to himself as he stormed into his apartment that evening, tossing his briefcase carelessly onto the coffee table, it burst open, spilling its contents all over the place, papers scattering to the floor. He sighed, flopping down on the sofa face down, clutching the back of his head stressfully. "It's so unfair! That was supposed to be my meeting! I invited those guys over and all they want to talk about is their own problems! That don't involve me..."

America sat up slightly on his elbows as a familiar sound of buzzing waves of electric began radiating around him; a bright blue light blasted from all corners of the room as a grey figured appeared suddenly in front of him. In an instant the light vanished, and the noise halted and America was face to face with his alien friend Tony, clutching a greasy hamburger and an oversized soda.

"Hey Tony dude." America said, sitting up properly, "Where'd you go for McDonalds this time?" the small grey alien muttered his response in his strange language, slurping down some of his beverage, America smiled slightly, "Dude you're not gonna be able to walk after your done!" a few weeks back his alien friend had announced his decision to get fast food at a McDonalds in every state of America, using his portable teleportation device as means of transport.

Tony placed the panel down by the television set, where it blended in with the video consol and looked right at home, before joining America on the sofa, looking over at him questioningly. America sighed, "It's just those guys, ignoring me and pretending I don't exist...I don't get it, this has never happened before!" Tony looked at him sadly, offering him his drink, America shook his head, "No thanks...man, being a country really does suck sometimes you know Tony?"

America got to his feet, stretching slightly as he paced slowly around the room, "You know? All this responsibility, having to deal with all these people who never agree on anything...I dunno I guess, I guess sometimes I just wonder you know? What would it be like to just...be a normal guy...a normal American guy who just didn't have to deal with it all."

Tony looked up, startled at the American's words, America shrugged, "I dunno, I just wish...sometimes I just wish that I...that I wasn't a country!" the alien stared at him from where he sat, burger and soda slipping from his grasp as his eyes went blank. America looked over curiously, "Tony dude, you okay? You got heart burn or something?" the alien said nothing; he remained perfectly still aside from his red eyes which were slowly being drained of their colour. America sighed, shrugging again, "Whatever dude I'm off to bed, got another stupid meeting in the morning...you'll clean up that mess right?" he nodded to the soda and grease now soaking into his carpet as he made for the bedroom door, "Alright, night dude." he gave the alien a brief thumbs up before disappearing into his bedroom, settling in for the night.

Tony was slowly brought back to himself, his red eyes now just sockets of white, he slowly got to his feet, arms raised in the air in preparation. He'd really cherished the American's friendship, and loved hanging out with him and living at his home...but if his only friend wanted to be normal, and Tony could make it happen, he didn't really have a choice.

The alien's eyes grew bright, casting harsh rays of white light into the American's apartment, the walls slowly started to melt, the floor moving beneath his feet, everything around him was starting to dissolve into nothingness. His little arms began trembling uncontrollably as everything around him was being pulled out of existence, the bright light blasting through his surroundings. He cast one last look at the American's bedroom door as it slowly faded from sight, waving goodbye to his friend before Tony was pulled out of reality, and America's world was changed forever.

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><p><strong>What's this? Me going to be using their human names? :O Can't be!<strong>

**So yeah anyway this is something I've been thinking of for a while now, finally got around to it, what would happen if just one day America found out he wasn't a country anymore...oh the fun I shall have writing this XD**

**Hope you enjoy, reviews are love :)**


	2. I am Alfred Jones

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?**

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><p>America yawned; scrubbing a hand across his eyes as his body slowly became aware that it must be morning. In his tired state he didn't seem to register the fact that the bed he was lying on didn't seem to be a bed, it was much lower to the floor and felt suspiciously like a sofa. The American blinked slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the sunlight blaring at him from the window opposite...which for some reason seemed to be absent of curtains.<p>

"Huh?" America slowly dragged himself up, wiping a bit of drool off his chin, "Wha..." he rubbed his eyes again before digging into his bomber jacket pocket for his glasses, slipping them on over his eyes.

Then he wished he hadn't.

"What the hell!" America shot up to his feet, staring in shock at the monstrosity of the wreck he was surrounded by. He had indeed been fast asleep on a sofa, in a tiny, filthy one room apartment. About a hundred beer bottles littered the grubby, torn carpet, the television set had severely reduced in size compared to the one present before the American had fallen asleep and there was no refrigerator in the kitchen, just a cupboard with the door hanging off its rusty hinges and a greasy, ancient cooker.

The American blinked slowly, as if hoping the sight in front of him would dissolve back into his cosy apartment. This wasn't his place. "What the hell man..." America muttered softly, slowly rotating on the spot, "Where the hell am I?" he shook his head, removed his glasses and gave them a thorough wipe on his shirt before replacing them, but it didn't change his location. "Guys?" he called out, shuddering slightly at the way his voice echoed in the sparse, chilly apartment, "Guys if this is some kind of joke it aint funny!"

America scrunched up his forehead with frustration, delving into his pocket for his phone, "Great...I better call my president and arrange for a car to come pick me up from wherever the hell those guys have left me." he pulled out the device, looking confused when his phone seemed...different, an older model, "Huh? This doesn't look like mine..." the American turned it on, immediately scrolling through the contacts, looking for his president's number. Yet he only seemed to find an address book full of unfamiliar names, "What the...Mark, Dean, Jeff...who the hell are all these people?"

Pocketing the phone the American was still for a few moments, completely baffled and just slightly disturbed, "Okay...so I was kidnapped, taken here, given a bogus phone and just left here...right? I just gotta...I dunno what I gotta do." America shook his head slowly sitting down on the arm of the stained sofa, biting his bottom lip, "Hmm...maybe I have some money to get a cab." he reached into his back pocket for his wallet, slightly relieved to see it at least resembled the one he'd fallen asleep with, "Alright lets see..."

Opening up the brown leather wallet America frowned, it was completely empty, not a single note or coin, "Oh what the guys robbed me too?" he growled, tossing the wallet onto the carpet, jumping up when he saw a plastic card shoot out and land at his feet, "Huh, a driving license? But...since when do I drive..." he bent down to retrieve it, holding it up in font of his face. In the left hand top corner was a tiny photo of his face, as well as all his details including age, birthday and...

...name?

"Alfred Jones..." America said slowly, as if testing the name out, "...why does it say my name is Alfred Jones? What the hell is going on here!" he yelled, suddenly hysterical, "Dudes! Seriously! What is up with you guys? Why is this happening!" he dropped the card to the carpet with his discarded wallet, desperately shaking his head as he paced around the filthy flat, "Man...this is fucked up..."

America stopped when something suddenly caught his eye, nestled beside the video consol in front of the minuscule television set was Tony's portable teleportation device...along with a piece of paper that looked like a note. "That looks like Tony's handwriting..." America muttered, diving onto his knees to retrieve the note, taking a moment to translate the alien language, "To America, you've been a good friend, you're by far my favourite human, I've never called you that before but I can now. You said you wished you could be human; it was the least I could do to pay you back for everything you've done for me. See you around Alfred, your pal Tony."

"Dude..." America let the note slip from his fingers, heart hammering in his chest, "Then...then I'm human? Oh my God...dude, I'm not a country anymore!" he scrambled to his feet, rapidly backing up until the back of his knees hit the sofa and he fell onto the cushions, "Oh man...this is exactly what I wished for, I guess...but dude...whoever this Alfred guy is he sure lives like a slob!" he looked to all the empty beer bottles and overflowing ashtray on his shabby coffee table.

The American jumped violently when the unlocked door to the apartment suddenly burst open, "Alfred dude!" a tall, scrawny, baggy ripped clothed wearing man casually made his way into the flat, cigarette hanging from his mouth, "Whoa you're up? Nice..." the young man took a drag on his cigarette, tapping the ash off the end of the cigarette into the ashtray on the table, "...you ready to go?"

America stared up at him, shrinking in on himself slightly, "...who are you?"

The man gave him a strange look, "Dude you okay? It's me Mark, man..." he leant down to stare directly at the American's face, "You don't look so good, what shit you been smoking?"

"Uhhh..." America leaned back away from him, blinking slowly, "Nothing..."

Mark still looked confused, wandering into the tiny kitchen, searching through the empty bottles on the counter, "Anything left in any of these?"

"Maybe..." America muttered awkwardly, getting to his feet, shuffling around uncomfortably.

The young man shrugged, taking another drag, "You want a toke?" he asked, holding out the cigarette to him.

America shook his head, "No thanks, I don't smoke."

"Dude..." Mark stared at him, breathing out the smoke through his nose, "What is up with you today?"

"Nothing...what urm...what did you want?" America asked, wrapping his arms around himself protectively, looking down at the floor.

"Came to pick you up dude, duh."

"...why where are we going?"

"The hospitals giving out twelve dollars to anybody who donates blood." Mark said, flicking his cigarette onto the floor, "Come on if we get down there now there won't be a line."

America stared at this seemingly insane man, "What the..." he muttered, looking confused, '...dude, this Mark guy is like Alfred's friend, man what kind of friends does this guy have? What kind of life is this! Selling my blood for money? Drinking and smoking all the time? Dude...' America slowly shook his head, "So...what you're telling me is that I'm some kind of alcoholic, smoking, jobless loser?"

Mark looked confused, "Alfred, you hit your head or something? What's gotten into you?"

America continued to shake his head, backing up against the wall, "Man...I always thought if I were human I'd be like a...race car driver or something...this is not at all what I pictured."

Mark gave his friend another weird look, going over to the window, "Dude stop being a freak for a second and come check out my new set of wheels."

America approached him gingerly, this Mark guy looked like the kind of man who would have a knife concealed somewhere on him, the American glanced out the window at the beaten up, dented used car parked outside, "What, that thing? It's a hunk of junk."

Mark glared at him, giving him a punch in the arm, "Shut up man it's better than your piece of crap, stole it off some guy this morning."

America stared at him, "Whoa wait it's stolen?"

"Yeah." Mark said, looking proud of himself, "Off some British guy I think, he sounded like an ass...probably from English land."

America's jaw dropped, "Dude...did he have blond hair?"

"Uhh no brown, why? You know any British people?"

America nodded slowly, "Oh my God...if I'm human...then surely the other guys are too." he mused softly, Mark was starting to get more and more disturbed, "They must still be in their hotels in Washington-" America blinked slowly, starting to realise, "No...if I woke up here, then those guys must have woken up somewhere else too...Mark, we're still in Washington right now right?"

"...yeah." Mark said, slowly backing away from him, "Dude, seriously, I'm getting worried about you man."

"...then...the guys must be in their own home towns...right, England...he'll be in London, I gotta get to London!"

"London?" Mark shook his head, "Dude why do you-"

America ignored him, racing over to his television set he dived onto his knees and grabbed Tony's teleportation device as well as his wallet and his supposed driving licence before making for the door, oblivious to Mark calling after him. The American dived down the flight of stairs onto the shattered glass covered street where this Alfred guy lived, managing to wrench open the door of his friend's car, "Okay...London..." he started fiddling around with Tony's device, scrolling through the list of cities until he came to the right one and it flashed up on screen.

"Dude! What the hell are you doing in my car?" Mark yelled, running out after him.

"Sorry dude! This is personal." America called, pressing the big red button in the centre of the device. The American, as well as the beaten up car, were dissolved from sight, leaving Mark completely stunned as his friend and his car completely vanished.

America fingers gripped harshly at the car seats as a bright blue light blasted from out the device, sending him and the car flying through the air, waves of electricity radiating around him. He clenched his eyes shut, body tensed as his fingers dug into the car seats and he was taken far from home, to the other side of the pond.

In an instant, everything stopped. The light vanished and the car jolted to a halt. Very slowly the American opened his eyes, gazing out of the wind screen of the car, taking a few deep breaths, "Dude..." the towering buildings of London town encased him, the shining sun of Washington had been replaced with cold, gloomy clouds that looked like it could rain any moment.

America slowly climbed out of the car, glancing around, "London...right, I better get to England's house." he started off down the street when he suddenly remembered something, "Hang on...if I woke up in some random apartment that wasn't my own...then England must have as well...damn it...how am I supposed to find him now?"

America sighed, running his hands through the hair at the back of his head, "Great...I guess it's random search time."

**~0~**

"This is so pointless..." America moaned in despair, shoving his hands in his pockets as he made his way back to the car. He'd been wondering around the populous streets of London town for almost an hour and hadn't spotted England anywhere, "Man I thought England was supposed to be tiny, how come it's capital is so damn big?" he sighed, kicking a stone in his path as he reached the street he'd left his car on. He looked up, panicked slightly when he saw the back of a police officer ticketing his car.

"Aww no way man!" he raced over to him, tapping him on the shoulder, "Dude please you can't give me a ticket! I didn't know you couldn't park here!"

The policeman turned around, "Sir you have parked your vehicle on double yellow lines and there is a sign up over there on that lamp post quite clearing stating it is legal to park here, now please move your car."

America stared at him, jaw dropping to the ground. This policeman had the most familiar green eyes, blonde messy hair sticking out from under his ridiculous police hat and those big, fuzzy eyebrows.

It was England.

"En-England...dude..." America said slowly, "Man I'm so glad to see you!" he grinned, throwing himself into the Brit's arms, just pleased to see someone he recognised.

The Brit was completely still, body tensed, "...sir, I must ask you to release me immediately."

America let him go, looking confused, "Dude it's me, America!"

England rose a large eyebrow, "What an interesting name...is that what all you yanks call yourselves when you're visiting over here?" he drawled, rolling his eyes as he moved on to the next car parked beside America's own.

America shook his head, following the Brit, "Oh man...you really don't know who I am?"

England sighed, glancing up at him, "No I don't, unless I've arrested you in the past, and from the look of you...I probably have."

"Dude." America blinked slowly 'He's...he's got no memory of being a country...' the American jumped up onto the bonnet of the car the Brit was trying to ticket, "This is probably gonna sound really weird but you gotta believe me okay?" England carried on writing the ticket, ignoring him, "You're England."

England looked up, "Excuse me?"

"You're England dude, like...you represent this whole country, just like I represent America."

The Brit stared at him, "...sir, I have a job to do, I don't have time for your tourist nonsense."

America sighed irritably, "I'm not a tourist, I'm your friend...England you gotta believe me." he jumped down as the Brit leant over to leave the ticket under the wind screen wiper.

"Uh huh..." England hummed softly, not really paying attention.

America scratched the back of his head, how the hell was he supposed to convince this human of something so seemingly ridiculous? He glanced down at the Brit's belt, smirking slightly, "Dude, you weren't lying when you said there were no guns in England." he said, grabbing hold of England's belt.

The Brit pulled himself away furiously, "Sir if you don't stop harassing me I will have you arrested!"

"Arrested? Arrest me with what? You've not even got any handcuffs." America said mockingly, pinging his belt again.

England glared at him, "Sir you're testing my patience, I am an officer of the law!" he held up his badge for the American to see, "I have the authority to arrest you and don't think I won't! Wasting a police officers time is a punishable offence."

"Dude I'm not wasting your time! England, I'm trying to help you-"

"Stop calling me that!" the Brit snapped, "It's strange, now if you Americans all refer to each other by their country of origin then...then fair enough, but here in Blighty we use are given names, and I would thank you to use mine."

America sighed, "Alright fine, what is it?"

England looked momentarily thrown off guard, not registering the fact that he'd backed himself up into a corner, he sighed, "Fine...I'm officer Kirkland."

"What's you first name?" America asked softly, leaning back against the car.

"Arthur...may I know your real name?"

America sighed, "Okay, I guess it's Alfred..."

"...you guess it is?"

"Yeah...well like I was saying-"

"Officer Kirkland!" England jumped as another police office appeared behind him, one eyebrow raised, "Slacking off on the job are we? I don't pay you to flirt with tourists."

England look horrified, going bright red, "I-I was just...I mean I..."

"Whoa…" America held up his hands, "Dude calm down, seriously we were just talking."

The officer glared at him before turning back to England, "Kirkland, you're on bus fare duty tonight."

England frowned, "Again? But I've been doing that for five days straight now!"

He smirked slightly, "Well that's because you're so good at it Kirkland." he muttered sarcastically.

England sighed, "Can't Parkinson do it?"

"No, you'll do it and that's an order." he said, letting his eyes drift over to the American who was still watching them, "Don't you have somewhere to be, yank?"

America shrugged, "Just hanging out with England here."

The officer looked confused, slowly shuffling away, "Right well..." he handed England a clip board, "Make sure you keep your eyes peeled for fare jumpers." he said, smirking slightly as he wandered off.

England glared at his back, tightly gripping the offending clipboard, "Arse." he muttered.

"Huh? What's a fare jumper?" America asked, leaning back casually against the car.

England sighed, "It's people who sneak on buses without paying the fare."

America blinked slowly, "So...you're job is to make sure people pay for the bus? Wow...you sure are an important officer of the law."

England turned around to glare at the American, "Oh shut it! Someone needs to do it...just because I'm not out catching burglars and rioters doesn't mean...that I'm not important to the force..."

"England, Arthur, dude..." America jumped down from the car, placing his hands down on the Brit's shoulders, "Listen to me, you're better than this yeah? Dude where I'm from you're like seriously important man! You're the most important Brit there is in the whole of England!"

England stared at him, "...and where exactly are you from?"

"A different universe man..." America said softly, ignoring the horrified look England was giving him, "A place where we're not human, you and me...we're buddies, you're England and I'm America...dude you gotta believe me."

England was still looking disturbed, but decided to humour the American, "...so...how exactly did you get into this universe?"

"I wished for it and my alien friend Tony made it happen." America said matter-of-factly.

England just stared at him, slowly removing the American's hands from off his shoulders, "Right...well it was very nice to meet you Alfred but I must be getting back to work." he said, taking out his notebook and pen.

America sighed, quickly going back to his car he took out the teleportation device before jogging after the Brit, "Hey, wait..." he showed him the device, "If I can prove I can teleport will you believe me then?"

"What?"

"I can teleport! That's how I got here in the first place."

England sighed, "Alright, you do your little teleportation trick and if by some miracle it works then I'll consider believing your nonsense..." he muttered, writing up another ticket.

America rolled his eyes, pressing a few buttons on the device to set it to just a few feet away, "Okay, just watch."

England rose an eyebrow, looking up just in time to see the American dissolve from sight, "W-What the bloody hell?" he yelled out in shock, reaching out a hand to prod the space the American had just filled.

"Hey England." the Brit spun around to where the laughing American was stood behind him, "Believe me now?"

England stared at him, slowly shaking his head, "That...that was one bloody good magic trick..."

America sighed in exasperation, "Dude it's not magic! I just teleported! Like I did to get to London in the first place, England..." he grabbed the Brit's arm, "Come on...do you really want to spend the rest of your human life giving out tickets and riding busses making sure people have paid?"

England shrugged slightly, glancing away, "There's...there's room for advancement."

"Whatever, dude you could be the representation of the whole damn country! All I'm asking is you come with me..."

England shook his head, "I've only just met you."

"To you maybe, but I know you as a friend...come on man, you're destined for so much more than this!" he said, grabbing hold of the Brit's ticket book who simply let him have it.

England bit his lip, swallowing slightly, "...it's such an unusual situation..."

"Dude trust me I know." America said, smiling slightly, "But come on England I know you're not happy doing this..." he held up the book, "You have a chance to be somebody, just take a chance and come with me."

"...with you where?" England muttered, trying not to look like he was being persuaded.

America smiled, starting to tug him towards his car, "To gather everyone else, all the other countries...Italy, Russia, China..."

"...will they know who you are?"

"Doubt it, which is why you gotta help me convince them."

"How can I? I don't believe you myself."

America sighed, holding open the car door for him, where England dithered unsurely, "Come on man, what have you got to lose? Anything's gotta be better than this right? Just take a chance..."

England bit his lip, fingers drumming on top of the car, sighing deeply, "...if you screw me over Alfred, I will have you arrested."

America smiled, climbing into the other side of the car, "Noted, let's get going dude."

England glanced back behind him at London town before slowly getting into the car with this seemingly strange man, "I must be insane..." he muttered as the American fiddled with the device in his lap, "Where are we going?"

"Well I guess we better go fetch your neighbour." he looked up, grinning, "We're gonna go and find France!"

England pulled an irritated face, "God, I hate French people." he muttered, looking slightly alarmed when the American suddenly burst out laughing, "What is it?"

America snorted, "It's just, you hate French people...man, nice to know you're still the same guy Arthur." he said, smirking slightly as he selected Paris and the device, "Alright hold on tight man, it can get a little bumpy."

England sighed, fastening his seatbelt, "I can't shake this dreaded feeling that you're going to drug me any second and I'll wake up in dungeon somewhere."

"Dude that's creepy, save that stuff for when we find France alright?" America said, settling the device on the dashboard, "Hold on tight England, here we go!" he slammed his hand down on the big red button, the blue light blasted out and London was dissolved from sight as England and America set their sights for Paris.

* * *

><p><strong>Woop, story taking off now yays <strong>

**So yeah I guess you get the general jist of it :) hope you're liking so far**

**Reviews are love :)**


	3. The Shining Lights of Paris

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?**

* * *

><p>America's car jutted to a complete halt, jostling the two men in their seats as they came to an eventual stop. America glanced next to him at the shaken up Brit, face paled, hands digging into the car seats, "...you okay dude?"<p>

England shook his head, slightly dazed, taking a few deep breaths, "I think I'm going to throw up..."

America hopped out of the car, going round to the other side to let him out, "Not in the car you're not."

England slowly climbed out, legs shaking slightly as he glanced around the populous, vibrant city of Pairs, "Wow...that was extraordinary." he muttered softly, leaning back against the car, blinking rapidly.

America smirked slightly, "I know right?" he looked around, they'd arrived on a street beside the river Seine, shops and restaurants paraded along the road behind them, nearly every single one with French people smoking outside and in, "Well here we are..."

England looked around slowly, the gloomy chill of London town replaced with the warm sun of the French city beating down on them; the lifeless, dull historical buildings of England's hometown had been transformed into these stylish, elegant, artistic buildings of Paris. The Brit swallowed slightly, still looking quite dazed, "This is actually Paris?"

"Yep!" America said, beaming happily, "Now all we gotta do is find France...uhh...where do you reckon we should go first?"

England shrugged slightly, "I don't know, you know this...France person, what's he likely to being doing?"

"...having sex."

England cringe, slapping a hand to his forehead, "As a career."

"Oh!" America laughed slightly, "Sorry, uhh...well I guess he'd make a pretty good chef." he said, shrugging slightly, remembering back to the last time France had cooked for them all, it was about the only thing he ever did right.

England nodded slowly, "Alright..." he looked around at all the shops and cafes behind them, "...should we go and find a restaurant then?" he asked, taking off his policeman hat and jacket, throwing them into the back seat of the car.

America shrugged slightly, rubbing the back of his neck, "I guess...or we could always, you know..." he muttered, digging his toe into the ground, "Just get a coffee, like together..." the American suggested, trying to look like he couldn't care less yet secretly he was actually quite pleased that he was getting to spend some alone time with the Brit, with no work related matters to distract them. "But urm..." he patted the empty wallet in his back pocket, "I don't have any money."

"It's okay, it's on me." England said, getting out his own wallet which seemed to have a decent amount of notes in...even if they were all strange British money.

"You sure dude?"

England nodded, "Yes, it's not as if I need to save my money for anything now is it?" he said, smirking slightly, "Seeing as I'm, destined for better things, as you put it."

America smiled, shaking his head, "You know, for a human who ten minutes ago was just a police officer in a normal life you're taking all this pretty well."

England chuckled slightly, pinching the bridge of his nose, "God...I'm trying not to think about it, if I do, I'm pretty sure I'll scream."

America laughed, ruffling the Brit's messy hair as he reached over to lock the car, "Come on dude, let's go get a drink."

**~0~**

"I'll have a coffee...England?" the Brit didn't respond, still gazing out at the river, "England..." still nothing, America sighed, "Arthur!"

"Hm?" England looked up, the French waiter looking quite perplexed beside their table, "Oh, a coffee as well please."

The waiter left with their orders, and America seemed equally confused, "A coffee? Dude I thought you only drank tea."

England smirked slightly, "Not in foreign countries, nowhere except good old Blighty can make a decent cup of tea." he said, settling back in his wooden chair, gazing out at the river again, "Still...it's weird that you know that about me."

America laughed, "Dude, whether I knew you or not doesn't make a difference, all you English people drink tea."

England looked at him, one eyebrow raised, "That is just a silly stereotype."

"You know it's true."

England smirked again, "Perhaps...so then." he leant forward on the table towards him, "Tell me...Alfred...?" he strung out the American's name, looking to him for help.

"Uhh..." America blinked slowly, trying to think back to his driving license, "...Jones, I think it was."

England smiled softly, "Alfred Jones..." he said slowly, resting his chin on his palm, "What's he like?"

"Honestly? No idea." America said, laughing slightly, "I guess I've lived his life up until this point but..." he shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck, "I aint got no memory of it...although, I think he's a total scumbag."

England looked up curiously, "Why's that?"

"The state of his apartment, he's jobless, smokes, drinks, hangs out with freaks..." America sighed softly, "Man...I always hoped I'd be a successful human you know? Good job, nice place...maybe a family."

"Is that why you're trying to gather all the countries back together? Because you're not happy with the way you are as a human?"

America shrugged slightly, "Kinda, but to be honest with you I didn't want this...I mean I wished for it out loud but I didn't actually mean it! I was just annoyed...this wasn't supposed to happen."

England nodded slowly, "So you really don't know anything about yourself? I mean as Alfred, your childhood, your parents..."

America smiled slightly, threading his hand through the hair at the back of his neck, "Well...if I'm honest with you dude, you're the closest thing I've ever had to a father."

England stared at him, blinking slowly, "...we're practically the same age."

"Not in country years man."

"How exactly does this country thing work?" England asked, sitting back in his char, "I mean do the land masses still exist, are we the leaders of our countries or what?"

America thought for a moment, trying to think of the best way to explain it, "We just represent our own country, whoever we dislike are our enemies, and whoever we're friends with are our allies...most of the time at least."

"...and what exactly do we do?"

America shrugged, "You know, have meetings, fight in wars, make alliances, take care of other countries...I mean you England dude, you like owned most of us at one point."

"Oh yes." England nodded, smiling slightly, "I suppose I would have if my history serves me correctly." he shook his head, smirking slightly, "...this is all so strange..."

America chuckled slightly, "Yeah I guess it would be...man, it's weird you talking to me but not remembering anything that's happened between us in the past...or even yesterday."

England nodded, looking up when the waiter brought them their drinks, he opened a packet of sugar and tipped it into the steaming liquid when it was placed down in front of them, stirring it thoughtfully, "England..." he said slowly, "...tell me what he's like."

"He's...he's you." America said, laughing, "I dunno how else to put it."

"Do I act like him?"

"I guess...well..." America shrugged, sipping his own coffee, "You're not yelling at me as much...though I guess for now you've not really got any reason to."

England raised an eyebrow, "For now?"

America laughed, "No promises for later buddy! I tend to piss you off a lot."

"Why's that?"

"I dunno...you're just a bit of a pissy country." America said casually, holding up his hands defensively when the Brit glared at him, "But, but! I guess it's only cause of everything you've had to deal with, I mean you've dealt with so many different countries all throughout history in so many different conflicts like, before I was even discovered...it'd make anyone a little bit of a bastard."

England laughed slightly, "Alright...you're forgiven." he said, taking a glug of coffee, "So...I take it you haven't seen this France guy anywhere?"

America shook his head, "Nah, I reckon he'd be in some fancy five star restaurant."

"Well don't look at me, I don't have that much money of me."

"We could just go in and ask to see all the chefs."

"Yes well that won't look strange at all." England said, finishing his coffee.

America sighed, finishing his own, "Damnit...come on dude, we're not gonna find him sitting here."

**~0~**

"This is hopeless Alfred..." England muttered, flopping down onto a bench beside the American, glancing up as the Eiffel tower in the distance once again lit up, bright lights dazzling the night sky, "It's getting late, what on earth are we going to do?"

"I don't know man..." America sighed, running his hands through his hair, it really was hopeless. Despite it looking bizarre they had indeed gone to about thirty different fancy French restaurants and seen all the chefs and waiters...not a single one was France. But if he wasn't a chef then what else could he possibly be in the human world? He didn't know how to do anything else!

"At this rate we'll have to go back to London until the morning..." England mused softly, "Although I do only have one bed at my place, I guess we'd have to share-"

"Dude that's France!" America suddenly yelled, terrifying a group of tourists on a bench beside their own. The American jumped to his feet and raced across the road to the other side, ignoring the cars beeping their horns furiously as they swerved to avoid him.

England stared at him in shock as he carefully crossed the road to follow him, "Alfred, what is wrong with you?"

"Look! That's him!" America said excitedly, pointing up at a building they were stood in front of, England looked completely befuddled as there was no one around, then he saw what the American meant. The brick wall was scattered with posters and advertising leaflets, the one America was pointing to was a large, ripped poster right in the centre, the bottom half of it was completely gone, only the top of it remained, sporting the face of a curly haired blond, stubbled French man winking.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah dude that's totally him! Aww man...if only it was the whole poster then it'd probably have an address or something." he said, searching through the leaflets and posters, squinting at all the writing in French.

"Hmm..." England reached up and carefully peeled the poster off the wall, "I'm sure if we showed this to a taxi driver they'd recognise him, he must be quite famous." the Brit inspected the photo, cringing slightly, "He looks like an arse."

"He is, but dude you're totally right, let's go!" America grabbed England's hand and dragged him into the nearest cab, thrusting the ripped poster into the drivers' face, "Dude! Take us to this guy."

The Frenchman looked completely confused and slightly disturbed, "Francis Bonnefoy? T'es sûr?"

"Oui." England said, shutting the taxi door, "S'il vous plaît."

The taxi driver pulled another disgusted face, shaking his head as he started the car and drove off, America smirked slightly, "You speak French? That's surprising."

England rolled his eyes, "I said yes thank you, I'm hardly a translator...I'm not entirely sure what that guy said though, but...judging from his reaction, wherever this France guy is, it isn't a place we should be going to..."

**~0~**

"Alfred..."

"Dude...this can't be right..."

"...Alfred I'm not going in there."

"And you think I want to?" America asked in disbelief from beside the Brit as they both stared up, almost in fear, at the glitzy, sleazy strip club.

England shook his head, "No, no no no...even if it were female strippers I'd have some objections but there is no way in hell I'm going into a male strip club!" he hissed, looking away awkwardly as passers by were giving them weird looks as they stood by the entrance.

America sighed, "Dude, I don't like it anymore than you do but we have to."

"No! This France guy must be even more of a pervert than I imagined if he's a stripper!"

"Maybe he's the manager or something..." America suggested.

England looked at him, "Oh yes Alfred because all strip clubs post pictures of their managers on their advertisement posters!"

"Alright so he's a stripper! Doesn't matter dude we have to go and get him."

England sighed, gripping at his hair, "Oh God...okay fine, we go in, find him, grab him and get out of there as soon as possible."

"Alright, stay close to me man." America said determinedly before grabbing England's wrist, practically dragging him into the strip club, taking the plunge into a dark, sleazy, sweaty nightmare. England followed America closely as he was dragged down the steps towards the lit up stage, adorned with several half naked men in sexual costumes thrusting against poles and having notes shoved into their underwear by all the drunk, horny women.

America took them right up to the front where they settled down on a couple of bar stools, England stared down at the floor, feeling immensely disturbed and out of place, "Alfred why are we sitting up here? Can't we just go and linger at the back?"

"We gotta look out for him..." America muttered, and as much as it made him cringe he craned his neck to get a proper look at all the men on stage, muscly, sweaty, tanned Frenchman, one dressed as a fireman, one as a butler, army man, doctor, cowboy...none of them were France. The cowboy cocked his hat, looking over at the American curiously as he was staring at him, giving him a wink. America panicked, looking away awkwardly, "Dude, is that guy still staring at me?" he muttered to the Brit beside him.

"I'm not looking up..." England muttered softly, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Aww man...dude I'm seriously freaked out now."

"Well just be thankful all those crazy women are distracting them." he said softly, cringing as the congregation of women beside him screamed in delight as the fireman took another piece of clothing off.

America scooted closer to the Brit, feeling more awkward and out of place with every second that passed, he only looked up when the dim lights of the club were darkened even more, the stage became empty as the men all dispersed and disappeared off stage, and an announcement was sounded through the speaker system.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mesdames et Messieurs, s'il vous plaît bienvenue au stade de Messieur Francis Bonnefoy!"

England and America could only watch in absolute horror. The women in the club going crazy as the stage was suddenly lit up, the curtains drawn back to reveal a certain Frenchman. A curly blond haired, stubbly faced Frenchman, half naked and covered in a shimmering gleam of glitter powder...in a policeman's uniform.

"Dude..."

"I think I just threw up in my mouth..."

The Frenchman winked, sending a wave of screams from all the females in the room as he sauntered forwards, swinging his hips around flamboyantly as he reached for the pole in the middle of the stage.

"Alfred..." England reached for America's arm, yet was unable to drag his eyes away from this horrific sight of France thrusting up against the pole, "Please, we need to get out of here."

America shook his head slowly, "No, not without him."

"Alfred you can't be serious." England said in utter bewilderment, "Do we really want this guy travelling around with us?"

America cringed slightly, "As painful as it is...we need him." he reached into England's back pocket, pulling out his wallet.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

America dove into the leather wallet for some notes, holding them up to France, "Yo! French stripper guy! Over here..."

France looked over at them curiously, dancing over to them he jumped down off stage in front of America, holding out his tiny shorts for him to, grudgingly and without eye contact, shove the notes into, "Monsieur est très généreux." he said with a smirk.

"Uhh...do you speak English?" America asked awkwardly, trying to ignore the women calling at them in French, most likely cheering for France to give him a lap dance.

France smirked, "Oui...American tourists?" he asked, turning to the Brit, raising an eyebrow when he saw what he was wearing, "Oooh...are you a real policeman?"

"Police officer." England corrected him, avoiding the Frenchman's perverted gaze, "Officer Kirkland."

England looked up startled when the Frenchman suddenly plonked himself down on his lap, "Are you 'ere to arrest moi?" he purred, taking off his policeman's hat he settled it down over England's messy bond locks.

England stared up at him in fear, mouth gaping open, "Y-You're sitting on me..."

France smirked, trailing his fingers up the Brit's neck to his chin, "What are ze charges, officer?"

"A-Alfred he's touching me, he's touching me Alfred!" England protested, desperately slapping at America's arm who was trying to stifle a laugh.

"Okay okay..." he tapped France on the shoulder, "Listen uhh, Francis was it?"

"Oui."

"Can we see you like, privately?"

France looked at him, one eyebrow raised, "I do not do prostitution...although." he turned back to the Brit, smirking slightly, "For your little policeman friend 'ere I will make an exception..." he drawled.

England looked horrified, hurriedly shoving the Frenchman off his lap, "Get off me you stupid frog!"

"Dude please, it's important that we talk to you."

France got up from where he'd stumbled, "Oh really? Well you can come and see me in my dressing room if it iz zat important, in a few hours." he climbed back on stage, blowing a kiss to the Brit as he sauntered off, "Until later my pretty..."

England shuddered slightly, going bright red, glaring at the American who was laughing beside him, "Oh well I'm so glad you find it all very amusing." he muttered coldly, "Let's just get out of here and come back when he's done being a whore."

America snorted slightly, "Alright fine, but we are coming back dude, whether you like it not."

England sighed, "Fine."

**~0~**

A few hours later, very early in the morning now England and America were sat with France in his dressing room. Makeup, glitter and skimpy costumes littering the floor and all the dressers, France was sat provocatively in front of the two of them, thankfully fully dressed yet still covered in glitter as he was regaled with America's ridiculous story of him representing the nation of France.

When America finally finished he waited for France to tell him he was insane and storm off...but instead the Frenchman grinned, holding out his arms, "Oh Alfred!" he pulled the American into a hug, laughing happily, "Oh mon dieu...I knew I waz destined for greatness! I knew I waz important to ze world! Oh mon cher..."

America cringed, pulling himself out of France's grasp, "Uhh right, so you'll come with us to find everyone else?"

"Of course mon ami!" France exclaimed, beaming, "What an adventure we shall 'ave...oh! Only as long as I can bring my trailer with us."

England looked up sceptically, "You have a trailer?"

France smirked slightly, "But of course, follow me." the Frenchman lead them out the back door to the car park, presenting them with his 'trailer', "You love it do you not?"

"...that's a caravan." England muttered.

France glared at him, "It iz a trailer! My trailer!"

"It looks just as beaten up as my car." America said, staring up at the dented, tiny caravan, "Speaking of which, I'll just go and get it." he went off to the other end of the car park to drive it over, having collected it with England whilst waiting for France to finish work.

France pulled open the door, flicked on the light and stood aside to let England see, "Beautiful isn't it?"

"My God..." England muttered, shuddering slightly. The walls were adorned with pink, fluffy heart shaped lights, a giant water bed complete with tiger skin bed covers took up pretty much the entire floor space and there were condom wrappers littering the floor, "...that's disgusting."

"Hey guys!" America called from the car, backing it up to the caravan, "Hook it on man, we can take it with us."

"Why would we want to?" England muttered, yet helped France to secure it to the back of the car regardless.

"Duh now we have a place to sleep and stuff! And now we have more room for everyone else."

England climbed into the car with France, "You want us to sleep in that thing? God only knows what we'll catch from that bed."

"Just a sexy Frenchman trying to 'ave his way with you..." France purred, cuddling up close to the Brit on the front seat.

"Get in the back you idiot!" England snapped, glaring at him.

America laughed, fiddling with the buttons of the teleportation device, "Okay guys...you ready?"

"Where this time?"

"Well we might as well finish off Europe." America said, fastening his seatbelt, "Let's go and get Germany!"

* * *

><p><strong>Pretty much all of you said he should be a stripper, am I really so predictable? XD<strong>

**T'es sûr? - Are you sure?**  
><strong>Oui - Yes<strong>  
><strong>S'il vous plaît - Please<strong>  
><strong>Mesdames et Messieurs, s'il vous plaît bienvenue au stade de Messieur Francis Bonnefoy - Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Mr Francis Bonnefoy <strong>  
><strong>Monsieur est très généreux - Sir is very generous<strong>  
><strong>Oh mon dieu - Oh my God<strong>  
><strong>Mon cher - My dear<strong>  
><strong>Mon ami - My friend<strong>

**Apologies if any of the French in wrong, I did get help translating but I was still wary about whether it was actually right so...hope it is but if not, sorry!**

**Reviews are love :)**


	4. Kidnapping Germany

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if**** he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?**

* * *

><p>England yawned tiredly, rubbing a hand across his eyes as he shifted on the disturbingly comfortable water bed. The Brit cuddled closer to the warmth pressed against him, slightly confused as his chest appeared to be bare, and a pair of arms were snaked around his waist. "Alfred...?" he mumbled softly, slowly blinking open his eyes, coming face to face with a pair of perverted, dazzling blue orbs, staring back into his own.<p>

"Good morning mon cher..."

"AHH!" England screamed, leaping up off the bed in shock his foot caught on the scabby carpet and the Brit slammed down to the floor, shaking the caravan, "Oww..."

America woke with a start from where he'd been sleeping on the other side of the bed, away from the other two, "Dude...what is up with you?" he asked, yawning slightly as he sat up, blinking in the harsh sunlight radiating around them.

"Th-That is what's up with me!" England said with a shaking voice, pointing an accusing finger at the Frenchman who lay provocatively on the waterbed, smirking in amusement, "I wake up to find this pervert with his hands all over me!"

"I waz just trying to keep you warm mon cher..." France said, pouting slightly, "Your shirt appeared to 'ave gone missing." he added, smirking slightly.

England stared at him, mouth hanging open in shock, "Y-You took it off me didn't you? You perverted freak!"

France laughed his stereotypical French laugh, "Hon hon hon...oh mon cher, you were so out of it you did not even stir when I undressed you...not even when I stroked your beautiful, smooth chest..."

England's horrified face mirrored America's own, "Dude...not cool."

England shook his head, shuddering slightly as he thought about his poor violated body, "That's it, I'm sleeping in the car from now on." he grabbed his white, police uniform shirt which was discarded to the floor and hurriedly dressed himself.

America slowly climbed off the bed, running a hand through his hair, "There's not a whole lot of room in the car."

"Don't care, anything's better than being molested by that!" England shot at France, scrambling round for his shoes.

"Ohh mon cher don't be zat way...not after everything zat 'as 'appened between us..." France said, a hint of laughter in his voice.

"W-What do you mean? What have you been doing to me while I've been asleep?"

America shook his head, pushing open the narrow door to the caravan he hopped outside, leaving England and France to their bickering. 'Man...maybe I should have left France till last, there's no way we're gonna be able to get everyone together without those two killing each other first...' the American shook his head, leaning up against the metal frame of France's 'trailer' smiling fondly, their arguments could be annoying as hell sometimes, but he had to admit, the familiarity of it all was quite warming, made him feel...at home.

Which was a strange word to use, considering the fact that he was stood in the middle of the crowded city of Berlin, passers by giving him strange looks as the beaten up car and caravan contrasted greatly to the sleek, shining, beautiful pieces of crafted German workmanship parked around him. America yawned again, threading a hand through the hair at the back of his neck. He couldn't help thinking that this was all just a dream, and that he'd wake up in his warm, cosy apartment ready to go in for a world meeting, all the guys sat around yelling and screaming at each other across the table and ignoring him...but at least he'd be home.

"That man is infuriating!" England hissed, storming out of the caravan, face bright red, "Is he always this much of an arse to me?"

America laughed slightly, "Well yeah I guess, I mean the Brits and the French don't exactly get on do they?"

"I suppose not." he muttered, flattening his blond hair down with his hands, sighing deeply, "Stupid frog, probably messed up my hair last night."

"I didn't touch it mon cher." France said, jumping down from the caravan beside them, looking around blearily at the large city, "Where are we?"

"Berlin you idiot." England muttered, gazing around at the intimidating, towering buildings on the German city.

France pouted slightly, snaking his way over to the Brit, curling up into his side, "Oh mon cher don't be such a sour puss, I 'ave never been to Germany before..."

England glared at him, face going slightly red as the American was watching them, "What did I say about molesting me?" he growled, shoving the Frenchman away.

France smirked slightly, curling his arms around the Brit's neck before he could stop him, "I just want to be close to you, my little Englishman."

"Do you even know my name?" England asked dryly, leaning away from him awkwardly to avoid contact with the offending Frenchman in any way.

"Urmm..." France pondered for a moment, "Alfred oui?"

"I'm Alfred." America said, going to the door of the caravan to lock it, "He's Arthur...but just call him England."

"I'm not sure I like England, it's not a real name." the Brit muttered, roughly shoving France away from him he tripped over his own feet and landed on the pavement on his backside.

"Oomph!" France gasped out, glaring up at the Brit, "Zat hurt!" he pouted, getting to his feet he checked to make sure there were no rips in his tight, leather trousers, "If you ruin my outfit Arthur I will kill you!"

"I'd like to see you try, frog."

America laughed slightly, "Glad to see you two acting like your old selves."

England sighed, going to America's side, "Can we please just go and find this Germany bloke? I refuse to be stuck with just this arse for much longer."

"Alright alright..." America glanced around slowly, looking quite lost and confused, "I uhh...don't really know anything about this place..." he looked to the other two for help, "Any ideas?"

"Maybe he's a filthy stripper." England suggested, smirking slightly.

France glared at him, "Excusez-moi? I 'appen to be a gorgeous stripper."

England rolled his eyes, "Yes well keep your clothes on whilst you're travelling with us."

"I can't make any promises my sexy friend." France purred, sidling up to the Brit, linking their arms together.

England shuddered, trying to tug his arm away, going slightly red, "Alfred...he's touching me again."

"Dude if it makes him happy, just let him touch you, 'kay?" America said, snorting slightly at the shade of red France's touches were turning England's face...the Brit had always looked quite cute when he blushed, even though America would never admit this out loud.

"God sake..." England muttered, sighing as he let the Frenchman cling to his arm.

"So where might we find zis German man zen?" France asked, catching sight of himself in the reflection of his trailer window, fixing the hair that had fallen out of place, keeping a tight grip on the Brit's arm as he tried to pull away.

"Uhh...aww man, I really don't know." America muttered, slowly rotating around on the spot, craning his neck as if hoping the blond would appear out of nowhere, "I mean he'd make a pretty kick ass army general or something but...it's not like there's a war going on or anything."

"He could still be in the army even still, or at least some form of military man."

"Oh mon dieu..." France sighed romantically, collapsing into England's side who stumbled, nearly falling over under the weight of him, "Oh how I love a man in uniform..."

"That is not why we're here!" England snapped, shoving France away into the side of his caravan, which was still hooked onto the back of America's car.

"Dudes stop fighting." America said, rolling his eyes, the arguments were starting to get on his nerves even if they were familiar, "We gotta go find a military base, or something." he said, unlocking the door of his car, the three of them climbed into it, America and the Brit in the front and France in the back...or so they thought.

"What have I told you about sitting in the back?" England hissed, shoving France off his lap as he plonked himself down on the Brit in the front.

"I want to sit up 'ere with you!"

"Go to hell Francis!"

America shook his head, turning the key in the ignition he struggled for a moment before the car burst into life, "Man travelling with these guys is gonna kill me..."

**~0~**

"Alfred why don't you just admit you don't know where you're going?

"It'll be around here somewhere..."

"If you've never been to Berlin how do you expect to know where a military base is?"

"Uhh...I gotta hunch?"

"That's it, we've been going around in circles for three hours, pull over we'll ask for directions."

"Aww come on man, we don't need-...what was that?" the American asked slowly, the car giving a sudden cough, jostling them in their seats.

France leant forwards, poking his head between the two of them, "Zat didn't sound good..."

America bit his lip, slowing down he pulled into a quiet road with no traffic, carrying on at a slow speed, "Dude, I don't think the cars very well."

"Is it out of petrol?" England asked.

America looked confused, "Out of what?"

"Petrol."

"Petrol, what's that?"

"You know, that stuff you put in cars...oh what do you American's call it? You know-" England jumped slightly as the car coughed again, starting to slow down, "...Alfred?"

"Aww man." America fiddled around with the gear stick, pressing down on the gas, "Come on..." the car revved up, thick smoke started to seep out of the bonnet of the car, it gave one last cough because coming to a complete stop, cutting out the engine. "No...no no." the American turned the key in the ignition, listening to it desperately trying to start but it wouldn't ignite, "No...come on man!"

"Alfred where did you get zis piece of crap? It does not deserve to 'ave my trailer attached to it."

"Oh shut it! Alfred, do you know anything about car engines?"

America sighed, slumping back in his car seat as he gave up, "No...don't suppose either of you two do?"

"No."

"Non."

America sighed, "Great..."

"We 'ave a teleportation device, why does it matter zat ze car isn't working?"

"Because it can't take you to specific places unless you know where they are..." America muttered, turning the key in the ignition again, but to no avail, "Damnit...what do we do now?"

England peered out through the grubby windscreen, spotting a number of cars congregated by a garage, "Hey...isn't that a mechanics over there? We can just get it fixed."

"Aww man but how long will that take? We gotta go find Germany!"

"Well I'm sorry Alfred but we haven't really got a choice." England said, climbing out of the car, "Now are you going to help me push this thing or what? That bloody caravan must be at least twice as heavy as the car!"

America sighed, putting down the handbrake before following him out, "Alright..." he muttered, grabbing hold of the open car door, starting to heave it along with England, glaring at the Frenchman still lounged inside, "Hey come on France you're not getting out of this! Start pushing."

"I am much too beautiful for such manual labour." France said from inside, smirking slightly.

England glared at him, panting slightly as he strained to push the heavy vehicle, "You...arse!" America and England eventually managed to get the car, along with the caravan, down the deserted street and into the car park of the mechanics, the Brit collapsing to the ground in a puddle of sweat, gasping for breath, "God sake...stupid...frog...and his bloody trailer!"

France poked his head out of the car window, "Oh so you admit it iz a trailer?"

"Shut up!"

America wiped the sweat from his forehead, "Right..." he went to the bonnet and opened it up, stepping back slightly as a cloud of smoke billowed out, attracting the attention of some of the mechanics watching them from inside the garage.

The owner of the mechanics tapped a blond man on the shoulder, nodding to the American, "Touristen...mit ihnen umgeht Ludwig."

The blond man quirked an eyebrow, grabbing a wrench and made his way over to the tourists, "Hallo, what appears to be the problem here?" he asked, hoping his English was up to scratch as he didn't often have to use it.

"Uhh yeah we just-" the American started, standing up to address the German, the words getting caught in his throat at the sight of this all too familiar face. Slicked back blond hair, light blue eyes, gruff, intimidating voice...it was him. America beamed, "Oh my God...Germany dude!" he said excitedly, stepping towards him.

The German took a hesitant step back, "Ja...this is Germany..." he muttered, indicating to the country they were currently standing in, he looked over to the other two men stood beside the smoking car, "Is your friend okay in the head?"

England smirked slightly, "Sometimes I wonder that myself."

"Zis iz Germany?" France asked, realising what America had just said.

"Yeah dude, can't you tell?" America said, laughing slightly, "He's got Nazi written all over him!"

Germany's eyes widened and he stared at him, "Excuse me?"

England looked shocked, "Alfred!" he hissed, slapping his arm, "That's not very PC."

"He certainly iz a handsome one." France purred, eyes wandering down to the German's muscular arms, which were circled protectively around himself.

America sighed, "France stop being a perv."

Germany stared at them, getting slightly disturbed. He edged round them to tend to the car, leaning down to get a look at the engine, "You three are a strange group." he muttered softly to himself.

"Listen Germany." America followed him over, "I got something to tell you and you're not gonna believe me but you just gotta listen okay?"

"Would you stop calling me that?" Germany asked, glancing up from the engine.

"Man..." America turned to the other two, looking perplexed, "Why does no one like their country names?"

England rolled his eyes, "Because, Alfred, they're not our real names."

"Dude yes they are...and stop calling me Alfred."

"It's your name."

"So what? I don't call you Arthur."

"Well you should, it's my name after all."

"Dude no it's not! You're England!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"England! England! England!"

"Shut UP Alfred!"

France sighed irritably, slapping a hand down on top of the car to get them to shut up, "When you two are done releasing sexual tensions!" England blushed slightly at this, and America couldn't help but think he'd heard that somewhere before, "You still 'aven't told ze poor man why we are 'ere' 'arrassing him in ze first place."

Germany glanced up again, looking confused, "What?"

"Dude." America tapped the German's shoulder, looking at him seriously, "We've been looking for you."

Germany slowly stood back up, eyes widened, "...what?"

"Germany you-"

"It's Ludwig." the German growled, getting pretty sick of this nickname he'd suddenly adopted.

"Ugh fine, Ludwig." America muttered, closing the bonnet of the car so he could face the German properly, "You're the human representation of your country."

Germany just stared at him, eyebrows furrowed together with confusion and a hint of annoyance, "...what?"

"I'm America." he announced with a grin, "This is England." he pointed to the Brit, "This is France." the Frenchman gave him a wink, "...and you're Germany."

Germany blinked slowly, eyes shifting about awkwardly as he stepped round the American to address England and France again, "...how did you two meet this maniac?"

"He came to London to find me."

"Zen zey came to Paris for moi."

Germany stared at them, looking quite horrified, "So..." he slowly turned to America, "You're some sort of psychopath who goes around the world collecting foreigners?"

"Uhh...in a way." America said, laughing slightly awkwardly.

France smirked slightly, sidling up to him, "Now we've come for you, you're our little Germany."

"Francis stop messing around!" England hissed, dragging him away from the disturbed blond, "You'll freak him out."

"It's too late for that." Germany said, shaking his head, "You three are insane."

"Dude I know it sounds crazy-"

"It doesn't sound crazy, it is crazy."

"Look just pretend it isn't for a sec, don't you think it could be true?"

"Nein."

"But dude come on you're perfect for Germany!"

Germany quirked an eyebrow, "...why's that?"

America laughed, "Because you just are! You're hardworking, you're scary, you yell a lot, you never want to have fun-"

Germany glared at him, interrupting the American, "Those are just tired old German stereotypes!"

"Duh that's why you're Germany!" America said, laughing again.

Germany shook his head, lifting the bonnet of the car again, "Mein gott I hate foreigners..." he muttered, inspecting the engine for a few moments before slamming it shut again, "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for your car, it's completely totalled."

America frowned, "You can't fix it?"

Germany shook his head, "Nein, und quite frankly the cost of repairs would exceed that of buying a brand new car." he said, wiping his hands on the cloth hung from his combat trousers, "You should contact whoever sold it to you, you've obviously been screwed over."

"Oh I can't, it wasn't sold to me."

England looked at him, slightly confused, "What do you mean?"

America turned to England, shrugging, "Well technically I kinda stole it off this guy called Mark, but he stole-"

"Whoa whoa wait! It's stolen?" England asked, staring at the man in disbelief, "Alfred!"

"Dude shut up, you're not a policeman anymore." he said, waving a dismissive arm at the Brit, turning back to address the German once more but he'd already disappeared back into the garage. "Huh...I don't think Germany really likes us."

"Oh on, you think?" England said, voice dripping with sarcasm, "I blame this arse." he nodded to France, who had jumped onto the bonnet of the car, lying across it provocatively.

France pouted slightly, "What did I do?" he asked, sliding off the car.

America sighed, droning out another petty argument as he slumped against his car door. What were they supposed to do now? They had no car, Germany thought they were insane...not that he could blame him. The American looked over to the German, who he could just make out in the garage with the other mechanics, searching through a neatly organised toolbox. He needed to think of a way to make the German want to leave with them; England had agreed because he didn't really have anything worth staying for, and France was just pleased that he was 'the chosen one', as well as being a little bit drunk when he agreed.

"Alfred! How about we take zis?"

"Shut up for stupid frog! We can't just go around stealing cars!"

France smirked slightly, "Why break ze habit of a lifetime?"

America looked up curiously to see what they were referring to. He saw the Frenchman lounged casually in the back seat of a sleek, dynamic, shiny silver Audi convertible. The American slowly wandered over to it, skating a hand across the top of its polished hood. "Dude...this is a nice car."

"Exactly, a much better replacement for zat 'ideous thing you were driving oui?" France said, stroking a hand along the white leather seats.

England sighed irritably, "That doesn't mean we can just take it! Right Alfred?" he looked to the American for confirmation.

America shrugged slightly, jumping over the locked door into the front seat, bracing his hands on the steering wheel, "I dunno dude, it's a pretty sweet ride."

"Alfred I may not have any authority in this country." England said, climbing into the front beside him, if only to talk some sense into the American, "But this is unbelievably illegal! We're not stealing a car! We'll just have to make do without, now come on out you get, both of you."

"Dude we need a car to get around, come on man once we find everyone and get everything back to normal it won't matter that a cars gone missing." America said, fiddling around with the ignition, frowning as there was no key in sight, "It'll be fine...don't suppose either of you know how to hotwire a car?"

"Non."

"Yes."

America looked up in surprise, "You can hot wire a car England?"

England nodded, "Standard procedure in the MET, just in case of emergency."

"Well what are you waiting for man? Go for it!" America said, grinning, jumping into the back seat with France to give the Brit space to work.

England sighed, "Alfred I told you, we're not stealing a car."

"Aww come England..." America said, pouting sweetly, resting his cheek on the top of the Brit's seat, "For me?"

England regarded him for a moment, cursing that unbelievably annoying, get slightly adorable, puppy dog face. Heaving another sigh he leant down underneath the steering wheel, fiddling around with some wires for a few moments until the car jutted into life, humming softly.

"Aww dude I love you!" America cheered, laughing slightly as he wound his arms around the Brit's neck, "Man, maybe there are some things humans can do better than countries."

England rolled his eyes, blushing slightly as he slid back into his own seat so America could hop into the front, "Yes yes, but what do we do now? We can't just drive off with it."

"Oui what about my trailer?"

"...and the teleportation device." England pointed out.

America put the convertible in gear, slowly crawling over to the caravan, parking up beside the dented, totalled car, "Just grab the device, hook on the caravan and let's get out of here before anyone spots us."

"This is ridiculous..." England muttered, jumping out the front he and France made quick work of the caravan, if you don't count a minor squabble over the Frenchman trying to grope England's hand while doing so, retrieved the device and settled back in their newly obtained car in a matter of moments.

"Awesome." America smiled in satisfaction, driving the car forward a few feet just to make sure the caravan was settled on securely, rested the teleportation device on the dashboard before putting on the handbrake, "Right, we got a sweet ride...now we just need to somehow get Germany to-"

"HEY!" all three jumped violently at the sharp bark from that intimidating German voice, slowly turning around to see the blond storming over to them, face red with rage, "WHAT ZA HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Oh crap..."

"Put your foot down! Let'z get out of 'ere!" France shrieked, desperately reaching into the front, scrambling around for the handbrake as the blond impended on them.

America grabbed him firmly by the wrist, holding France away from the handbrake, "Dude we can't go without him!"

France stared at him, eyes darting back nervously to the terrifying German, homing in on them, "He'z going to kill us!"

"What za hell are you doing? Did you think you could just take off with a car und no one would notice?" Germany demanded when he reached the car door, grabbing the American by the scruff of the neck, yanking him up, his legs dangling over the side of the car.

America gave a nervous laugh, squirming slightly in the German's strong grip, "Oh, hey Germany dude, nah we were just, you know...taking it for a test drive."

"Alfred let's just get out of the car and leave before we cause anymore trouble!" England hissed, tugging at his sleeve, "We can go without Germany!"

"No we can't! Germany listen." America placed a hand on the German's shoulder, despite the way his eyes seemed to mist over with rage from the American touching him, "You have to come with us."

"What za hell are you talking about? I'm not going with you anywhere! Now get out of this car before I rip out your windpipe!" Germany snarled, holding the American in one hand he lifted his other to his lips and let out a deafening whistle to the other burly German men in the garage, signalling for them to come over.

"Alfred let's get out of here!" England pleaded, dithering as he went to fiddle with the buttons on the teleportation device, "How do you work this thing?"

"Just give it here!" America struggled to reach for the device, the German still having a tight grasp on his collar as he jabbed at the buttons.

"You know I once killed a man in his sleep with his own moustache..." Germany growled, taking a more firm grip on the offending American he started dragging him out of the car over the closed door.

"Alfred!" England blurted out in panic, grabbing hold of the American's waist he held on tight, pulling him back into the car.

"Let go of me! Both of you!" America yelled, struggling against the two opposing forces, still desperately straining to hit the right button, the big red one was just out of reach...

"Alfred we need to get out of here!"

"Not without Germany!" America insisted, grabbing hold of the German's shirt he attempted to drag him into the car but Germany planted his feet firmly on the ground, straining against the American.

"What are you doing? You stupid American idioten!"

France was still sat shaking in the back, just watching the struggle play out in front if him, painfully aware of the five or six tall, muscular, intimidating German men fast approaching, ready to pound the living hell out of all three of them...and not in a good way. "Oh to hell with zis I'll do it my way!" the Frenchman hurriedly scrambled out of the car and leapt onto the German's back with the full force of his weight, knocking him into the front seat of the convertible where he fell head first into America.

"What the hell are you doing?" England demanded, backing up into the leather seats as the raging German kicked and struggled under the weight of the Frenchman.

"Hey!" another blond German growled, fast approaching, "Let go of Ludwig!"

"Just get us out of here!" America yelled, hands clawing at the car's dashboard from under the German towards the device.

England hesitated slightly, it all seemed so illegal, not only were they stealing a car but they were kidnapping someone! But the petrifying sound of tools being wielded around as weapons by the approaching German's threw all justice to the wind, the Brit slammed his fist down on the big red button of the device, blue light blasting, electricity buzzing, sending all three of them, the stolen car with the caravan attached, to their new unknown location.

**~0~**

Jutting to a halt, the light vanished from in front of their eyes as they came face to face with the crowded, colourful towering building city of wherever they had arrived. The second the car stopped moving the German had finally managed to shove the Frenchman off his back and jump out of the car onto the pavement. "WHAT ZA HELL! WHERE ARE WE?" the German thundered, arms flailing around all the over the place at the strange city he couldn't recognise, "WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN ME? DO YOU ALL WANT TO DIE?" he snarled, slamming his fists down on the hood of the car, looming over the American.

America stared at him, slowly climbing out of the car, holding his hands up in a soothing manner, "Dude calm down-"

"CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?" Germany bellowed, grabbing the front of America's bomber jacket, "TELL ME WHERE WE ARE!"

England glanced around, spotting some signs with unreadable symbols, "I...I think we're in Asia..."

Germany stared at him, slowly looking around he realised the Brit was right, "HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE!" the German threw the American onto the hood of the car, who gasped out in pain as his back hit the metal, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THREE? I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" he snarled, about to dive on the American when one of France's hands came out of nowhere, smacking the German hard across the face. Germany blinked slowly, cheek slowly reddening, yet his hysteria seemed to have died down, "...danke, I needed that."

America let out a sigh of relief, slowly sitting up, "Dude, if you just calm down, I'll explain everything 'kay?" the German nodded slowly, practically collapsing onto the bonnet of the car with the American as he listened to his strange tale of countries, wishes that came true and how he was gathering everyone back together.

Germany was silent for a minute when the American finally finished, slowly shaking his head, "This is all insane...this shouldn't be happening."

"Trust me; we all know how crazy this is." England said from the front of the car.

Germany turned around to face him, "Do you even believe what this man has been telling you?"

"But of course!" France interrupted, jumping into England's lap, "Only I could be ze representation of my beautiful country, right Arthur?"

England glared at him, pushing him off into the seat next to his, "To be honest with you, I don't even know why I agreed...I just had a weird impulse."

Germany quirked an eyebrow, "So you don't even believe him?"

England looked up, glancing at the American who was watching him carefully, "I don't even know yet, to be honest with you, if he didn't have the ability to teleport I wouldn't believe a word of it."

Germany looked down at the device curiously on the dashboard, reaching an arm back over the windscreen he carefully picked it up, inspecting it closely, "Where did you get such a device?"

America shrugged slightly, deciding it better not to freak Germany out even more by mentioning Tony, "I got it from a friend."

Germany nodded slowly, squinting his eyes to see the small screen naming their location, "It says we're in Tokyo..."

England glared at the American, "Alfred you idiot, I thought we were going to finish off the rest of Europe."

America rolled his eyes, sliding down off the bonnet of the car, "Oh well sorry if I couldn't set it to the right country, I was a little busy being strangled!"

"What exactly is your mission?" Germany said slowly, turning the device around in his hands, fascinated by it.

"We gather everyone together and turn the world back to normal." America said, taking the device from the German, settling it back on the dashboard, "I go back to being America, and you go back to being Germany."

Germany slowly jumped down from the bonnet, looking around the towering city, Japanese people giving these strange foreigners weird looks as they passed by, "This is insane." he muttered softly, shaking his head.

America laughed slightly, "Dude I aint taking you back to Berlin, you might as well stay and help us."

Germany glared at him, "I don't have to do anything for you!"

America sighed, "Okay, well just think of it as an adventure, I mean...have you ever even been to Japan before?"

"Well...nein-"

"See? It's an adventure!"

"I take it we're looking for Japan then." England said, batting France away as he attempted to invade his lap again.

"Might as well while we're here." America said, jumping into the front seat.

Germany grabbed America by the scruff of his neck, yanking him up and throwing him into the back seat, "I'll drive." he growled, grabbing the door handle he forced the locked car door open, getting into the front seat.

England managed to slip out from underneath France's lap, climbing into the back with America, "He doesn't seem very happy Alfred..."

America smirked slightly, "Dude it's fine, Germany's never happy."

"It's Ludwig!" Germany hissed over his shoulder, putting the convertible in gear.

America laughed, throwing his legs over the door of the car, dangling them down as they set off down the populous streets of Tokyo, "Man...you humans sure are touchy about your names..."

* * *

><p><strong>Touristen...mit ihnen umgeht - Tourists...deal with them<strong>  
><strong>again, translations probably inaccurate <strong>

**Reviews are love :)**


	5. Rescuing Japan

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Hey...the sun goes the wrong way in Asia." America said in slight bewilderment, blinking slowly at the big ball of light in the distance steadily setting over the horizon.<p>

England wrinkled his nose in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

America pointed, "The suns going down, it was rising back in Berlin! It's all backwards."

England rolled his eyes, slapping a hand to his forehead, "You idiot, it's setting because it's the evening." the Brit pushed back his white sleeve to check his watch, counting on the hours, "...it's almost six, there's a nine hour time difference here."

"Oh..." America said, laughing slightly, "Sorry man, didn't mean to be so dim there for a second!"

England glanced over at the American next to him in the car, smirking slightly, "It's alright, you're American, so I should expect that from you."

America puffed out his cheeks, glaring at him, "Hey! That's not nice."

England chuckled slightly, brushing his messy fringe out of his eyes, the fast moving air whipping through it as they sped along the streets of the Japanese city, "Deal with it, yank."

America attempted to carry on glaring but his mouth was already twitching into a smile, "Shut it, limey jerk."

England smirked slightly, shaking his head, resting back against the comfy white leather seats, not being able to come up with a witty retort he simply just gazed over at the American, smiling fondly. He may have only known him for the shortest amount of time, but for some reason he felt almost...close to him, like they were dear old friends.

America glanced around as they drove through the populous city, the buildings towering high above them, Japanese symbols displayed on passing road signs, hundreds of Japanese people giving them strange looks whenever they stopped at a red light...although that could have been expected, they were in a beautiful silver convertible with a beaten up caravan on the back, they were quite an unusual looking bunch. The American glanced next to him, smiling in bemusement when he caught the Brit staring back at him. It was strange to have the blond looking at him in that way; he was actually smiling, had England ever smiled at him before? He couldn't remember the last time he did if he ever had...it was quite nice.

The Brit suddenly gasped out as the car seat in front of his own was suddenly flung back onto his lap, the Frenchman smirking up at him from where he lay, "Are you two done flirting? Or am I interrupting?"

England flushed bright red, eyes darting awkwardly at the American, "What are you talking about? Bloody git!"

France smirked slightly, loving the shade of red he was making the Brit's face go, "Nothing at all mon cher..." he said with a slight smirk in voice, leaning back in his seat, "I love zis sexy car, look how far I can move ze seats back, perfect for having fun in ze back oui?"

England glared down at him in disgust, "This is a convertible you sick perfect! There's no roof, people would see you."

"Exactly." France purred, stretching his arms up over his head to play with the buttons on the Brit's white shirt.

England blushed slightly, batting him away furiously, "Stop that you idiot! Alfred he's trying to undress me!"

America sighed, leaning down to search for the seat release to lift France's seat back up, "Come on man, that's not cool."

"I'm just giving him what I know he wants..." France said smirking slightly, taking England's hand in his own he trailed it across his stubbly cheek.

"Let go of my hand you sick wanker! I do not want you in the slightest!"

"Don't deny your feelings for me Arthur..."

"What feelings? There are no feelings!"

"Would you all shut za hell up?" Germany snapped from the front seat, stress veins popping up against his forehead as he squinted at the road sign up ahead, "Gott verdammt how ze hell am I supposed to know where I'm going when all the signs are in Japanese?" he growled, fingertips drumming dangerously on the steering wheel.

The three of them looked at each other; America gave a slight awkward cough, "Uhhh dude-"

"WHAT?" Germany barked furiously.

America blinked in surprise at the sudden outburst, "Uhh where exactly are you heading to? I mean...we don't know were Japan's gonna be."

Germany's foot suddenly slammed on the break, throwing them forwards as they came to a complete stop in the middle of a road, the build up of cars behind them beeping their horns furiously, "What?" the German growled, turning in his seat to face him.

"Dude! Keep driving man we're holding everyone up."

"We don't even know where we're going? How za hell are we supposed to find him!"

America sighed irritably, leaning down he wrenched the seat release so France's seat sat bolt upright, "France, swap places with me dude."

"Oh God, why Alfred?" England moaned in complaint as the Frenchman slid into the back with him, America climbing into the front beside Germany.

"See 'ow fate wants us to be together?" France purred, tickling the Brit under the chin.

America blocked out France and England's spat in the back seat as he directed the German, "Come on man, we gotta get out of here before someone tries to ram into us."

Germany sighed, setting off again he waved an apologetic hand to the other motorists as he drove off, "Where are we even going? How za hell do we find this man if you don't even know where he is?"

"I dunno man, let's just drive around a bit; we'll bump into him at some point." America said happily, leaning back casually in the convertible.

Germany glared at him, "Do you have any idea how big Tokyo is?"

"I know something else zat's quite big back 'ere..."

"Shut up frog!"

America shrugged, "Isn't Berlin? I found you alright didn't I?" he pointed out, glancing around he spotted a familiar golden archway in the distance, "Hey dude look, a McDonalds! Let's stop there and get a bite to eat, I'm starving."

The German shot a dark look in America's direction, "Nein, we're not stopping, we're going to find Japan."

"Dude why you so interested all of a sudden? I thought you didn't even believe me about all this country stuff."

Germany sighed, "The sooner we complete this ridiculous mission the sooner I can get back to Berlin, I don't intend on staying with you people any longer than necessary."

"Dude as soon as we find everyone you can go back to being Germany."

The blond rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

"Alfred he's got a point, how do we find him?" England asked, leaning forward across the back of America's seat.

"I really don't know man, but I must have like, a built in compass, or something...I mean I've managed to find you guys okay in all these huge cities." he shrugged slightly, "I guess there's just some kind of magic force that wants me to find you guys."

Germany's head dropped to the steering wheel as he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose stressfully, "Mein gott, we're relying on _magic_ to find this man..." he muttered softly, slowing down for a red light.

America laughed, "Dudes we'll be fine! Trust me, we'll find him."

**~0~**

"Anyone have any idea where the bloody hell we are?"

"Nein."

"Nope."

"Non."

England sighed, letting his eyes drift closed for a moment before they blinked open, gazing around this secluded, quiet area of the city they'd come to. Absent of any tall buildings, a cute village like area with children playing in the streets, elderly people sat drinking tea in cafes, giving them slightly bewildered looks as they drove past as there didn't seem to be any other cars for miles, let alone with a caravan hooked on the back.

"Why did we come 'ere?" France asked, throwing an arm around the Brit's shoulders, who shrugged him off immediately.

"Beats me, it just feels right...you know?" America said, keeping his eyes peeled for the Asian they were looking for.

"That's a load of nonsense." Germany muttered, coming to a complete stop by the pavement, sighing deeply, "Let's work out we're going to do, I refuse to drive another foot unless we know where we're going."

"I told you dude, I got no idea." America said, eyebrows knitted together in confusion, something just didn't feel...right, the atmosphere had suddenly change, it had gotten quieter, more eerie, "...hey...anybody else feel a bit awkward?" America said slowly, glancing around as the street they were in appeared to be emptying, the Japanese inhabitants hurriedly making their way into their homes, leaving them alone.

"...do we smell or something?" England asked in wonder, watching a Japanese woman run past their car, "Excuse me! Where's everyone going?" he called after her but he was ignored, the dark haired Asian woman bolted into a nearby house, locking the door behind her, "...how strange."

America sat up on his knees, craning his neck to see what was going on. It didn't make any sense, the street looked peaceful, calm even...what was everyone running from? The American's ear pricked up as he heard footsteps somewhere behind him, he spun around to call to the Asian businessman (he assumed he was a business man by the suit he was wearing) rushing past the back of their caravan, diving into a bike rack on the pavement where he tugged furiously at one of the bikes, "Hey dude! Could you tell us what's going on?"

The short man stopped dead, staring at these strange tourists in outright panic, "You need to leave! Get out of here while you can!"

"JAPAN!" America perked up, beaming from ear to ear at the sight of this familiar face, "It's you! Aww man dude!" the American jumped out of the car, rushing to him. Japan dug through his pants pocket for a key, hands shaking uncontrollably as he struggled to unlock his bike. America threw himself into the Asian, hugging him tightly, "I'm so glad to see you!"

The brunette was momentarily frozen with shock before he hurriedly pushed the American off himself, sending him backwards into the side of the caravan, "Many apologies." Japan gabbed, giving a quick bow before he managed to wrench his bike off the bike rack, attempting to climb onto the seat.

"Huh?" America shook his head, trying to reach for him, "Dude don't go! I have to talk to you!"

Japan shook his head, "Please, you need to get out of here! I have to leave I'm very sorry!"

"Now look here." Germany jumped out of the car, forcibly grabbing hold of the Asian's bike handles before he could ride off, "We've spent the last hour or so searching for you the least you can do is spare a few minutes of your time to listen to us."

"I do not have a few minutes! Please, we all need to leave before-"

"KIKU HONDA!" the Asian let out a slight whimper of terror as his name was bellowed in that demented way. America looked round in confusion, four big, tattooed, burly Japanese men had pulled up behind them, their dark eyes fixated on the terrified Asian.

Japan yanked his bike out of Germany's hands, jumped onto it and sped away as fast as his little legs could pedal, flying off down the next street and out of sight. The four Japanese gang members were back on their motorbikes in a matter of moments, bike engines thundering furiously as they set off in pursuit of the Asian. America could only watch in complete shock, eyes following the four men as they sped past, "Dude!" the blond blurted out when he saw what was strapped to their backs, "They got guns! Aww man they're gonna try and kill Japan!"

France looked up from where he'd been cowering in the back seat, "So what? He must 'ave done something to upset zem, I don't want to be next!"

"Alfred!" the American turned back to the front of the car where the German had hotwired it start again, "Get in, we'll go after them."

"What?" England and France both spoke, eyes wide with fear.

America nodded in determination, jumping into the front beside Germany, "Alright, hurry man, there's no telling what kind of guys we're dealing with here, but we gotta get to Japan before they do."

Germany nodded, slamming his foot down on the gas he sped off after them, gripping hard on the steering wheel, the four motorbikes coming back into view. America stood up in the car, grabbing hold of the edge of the windscreen for support, craning his neck he could just make out Japan in the distance, legs pumping furiously on the bike pedals as he tried desperately to lose the men chasing him but they were closing in fast. "Germany step on it! We need to go faster!"

"It won't go any faster!" Germany growled back, his foot working furiously on the gas pedal.

England grabbed the back of America's jacket, tugging on him furiously, "Alfred what the bloody hell are you doing? Sit down before you hurt yourself! Standing up in a moving car is so dangerous!"

America ignored him, eyes following Japan he saw him turn sharply into someone's back garden, speeding off down a narrow pathway, the motorbikes following shortly after, "Germany the car can't fit in that gap, turn right here we'll head them off!"

The German slammed his foot down on the break, yanking the steering wheel to the right they flew past the corner, the wheels on the right side of the car rising a good few inches off the road, "Mein gott!"

"Ahh!" America yelled out, gripping tightly to the windscreen as he was almost thrown from the car, "What the hell man? Be careful!"

"I told you it was dangerous!" England snapped from the back, pulling the American down into his seat. America lunged forwards again, grabbing the teleportation device just before it slid off the dashboard, shoving it into the glove compartment.

"It's that gott verdammt caravan! It's too heavy it's knocking us off balance!" Germany bellowed, shifting sharply to the right he managed to tip the car back over where its wheels fell back onto the road, steadying the car before he built his speed back up, following the path the Asian men were taking.

America looked round at the Brit, "Dude unhook the caravan!"

England spun around in his seat, reaching down over the back of the car towards it when France suddenly grabbed hold of him, "Non! You can't get rid of my precious trailer!"

"Let go of me frog! It's weighing us down!" England hissed, kicking furiously at the blond as he strained to reach the caravan hook.

"Francis let him unhook it!" Germany barked, reaching behind him he waved an arm about to strike the Frenchman in some way as another bend was fast approaching.

England dived forward another inch, straining he managed to unhook the caravan, the car suddenly jolted forwards, speeding uncontrollably as they were no longer weighed down, "Got it!"

"You bastard!" France yelled, grabbing the Brit's collar, shaking him back and forth.

America sighed irritably, "Dude we'll go back for it later we've got bigger problems-" the American's heart just about stopped when he heard a gun shot somewhere in the distance, "Shit..." he stood up again, straining to see over the houses to their right, "Dude, forget using the road, we gotta find Japan!"

Germany nodded, turning sharply into someone's garden he smashed through a bamboo fence, speeding off in the direction of the sound of roaring motorbikes, homing in on them. Two of the gang members were coming close into view, one with a gun in his hand; he looked back at the four men chasing him, sending them a death glare he started firing his gun at the car. "Oh shit." America dived back down into his seat, the bullets smashing into the sleek metal of the car or flying just over their heads.

France and England sat quivering in the back seat, clinging onto one another for dear life, "Oh mon dieu why did I agree to come with you people?" he cried, shrieking like a little girl whenever a bullet was fired.

Germany remained unflinching, focused intently on the pursuit of these two men, their car coming into line with their bikes, coming face to face with the Asian gang members. One aimed his gun at the German's head, the others dived down onto their knees, ducking beneath their seats, but Germany just grit his teeth, yanking the steering wheel to the left he ploughed the car right up against the bike, forcing him through a fence, knocking him clear off the bike onto the road.

"OI!" the man on the other side of them yelled, slamming his bike into the side of their car repeatedly, bashing them into the wall of a house, the car scraping along it as the German couldn't steer the car away.

America loosened his death grip on the leather car seats, managing to get to his feet in the speeding vehicle to confront the stranger, "Hey! Back off dude!"

The Japanese man growled at him, whipping out his gun, holding it threateningly against his head. "Alfred!" England yelled out, struggling to get to his feet when the car suddenly hit something, knocking him over into France's lap. America wobbled about uncontrollably, stumbling and falling back into his seat just as the Asian man pulled the trigger, the bullet bouncing off the brick wall opposite, missing the American completely.

The German growled ferociously, he managed to wrench the car away from the wall, crashing it into the motorbike, slamming into him the man fell off backwards, yelling out as he hit the hard pavement.

He was forgotten as Germany slammed down on the gas pedal, speeding off in pursuit of the two remaining gang members, who still had their sights set on Japan. Smashing a few more fences with the car the row of houses came to an end, and he was able to steer back onto the road, the German then dared to look behind him to check on the others, "Are you all okay?"

"I...I think- LUDWIG WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" England screamed in hysterics, pointing out at the road, eyes wide with terror.

Germany spun back round in his seat, yelling out his shock as they were headed straight for the back of a parked car on the side of the road. The German swerved dangerously to avoid it, sending the car flying right up onto its right wheels, tipping them almost completely upright. France was forced into the Brit's side, clinging to him tightly as he threatened to fall out. America's fingers were digging into the car seat, his arms shaking uncontrollably as he clung on for dear life, bottom lip bleeding slightly from where he'd been biting down on it to hold in his terrified screams, but he couldn't hold them in any longer, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" the American yelled, screwing his eyes shut as he, France and England screamed hysterically as the car sped dangerously on two wheels, threatening to throw them out onto the tarmac any second.

Germany let go of the steering wheel, giving a sudden lunge with the full weight of his body over the car door he managed to heave it down back onto its wheels, where it bounced a few times, coming to a complete stop.

"Shit dude..." America wheezed out, opening his eyes.

"Look." Germany pointed to the end of the road, they'd come to a dead end, just in the distance they could see Japan who had somehow crashed his bike into a fence in his haste to get away, he'd given up trying to retrieve it and instead legged it as fast as he could. The two gang members too came to a halt; jumping off their own bikes they continued their pursuit of the Asian on foot, whipping their guns off their backs.

America nodded, climbing out of the car, "Come on!" he and Germany raced after them, feet pumping hearts pounding as they followed them down an alleyway between two houses, where the gang members had the poor man cornered.

Japan whimpered softly, scrambling at the wall that encased him but he was nowhere near tall enough to climb over it. He spun around, swallowing heavily as the two burly man advanced on him, guns held up threateningly as they pulled back hammer, making the guns now lethal.

"Saigo no iitai koto wa?" one of them growled, finger hovering over the trigger, getting ready to squeeze.

"Hey." the two men turned around at the sound of a voice, the American and the German stood directly behind them, "Don't even think about it." before either of them could blink two clenched fists were suddenly smashed hard into their faces, America one, Germany the other, knocking them both unconscious to the ground. "Dude!" America gasped out in pain, shaking his hand and flexing his fingers, "Ouch man!"

Germany rolled his eyes, flexing his own fingers briefly but not feeling much pain, he kicked the guns out of the men's hands, just in case, as the trembling Asian slowly approached them.

"A-Arigatō..." Japan said softly, voice shaking slightly as he spoke, "...you saved me."

America beamed at him, "Dude, I know you don't know me but I'm America! We're homies!"

Japan bowed in his direction, "I do not know what a homie is, but I am Kiku Honda, and I am forever in your debt Mr America." he then bowed in Germany's direction, "...and to you Mr..."

"Ludwig."

"Mr Ludwig, Mr America." Japan bowed several more times, "A thousand thank you's for rescuing me."

"Like no problem dude, why were those guys trying to kill you anyway?"

Japan glanced around awkwardly, fiddling with his tie, "Well...the company I work for has been in some shady business recently...I'd prefer not to go into detail but I may have owed them some money that I couldn't afford to pay back..."

America held up a hand, "Say no more man...but listen, there is a reason we saved you." the American flung an arm around the Asian's shoulders, wanting to explain their situation and get back to the car as quickly as possible before the men at their feet decided to wake up, "This is gonna sound really weird okay? But you gotta believe me when I tell you. You're not this Kiku guy alright? I mean you are in this universe, but really you're the representation of the entire nation of Japan, just like I am America and Ludwig is Germany. I'm getting everyone back together so we can return to the real universe...so I need you to come with us to gather everyone else."

Japan looked up at the blond, smiling slightly, "Okay, I will come with you."

America stared at him, "Really? That's all it takes? Aww man I wish everyone believed me like you do!" he said, laughing slightly.

Japan shook his head, "No, I'm afraid I don't believe you, your story sounds ridiculous, however I am forever in your debt, therefore I shall go with you, regardless of whether it is complete and utter nonsense or not."

America blinked slowly before shrugging, "Sure dude, that's good enough for me!"

"We better get back before France and England get worried." Germany said, leading the two of them back out the alleyway, where the Asian cast a worried glance back at the two unconscious men on the ground before following America and Germany back down the street towards their convertible, sat in the middle of the road, now slightly dented, the paint work scratched.

"Cars a bit beaten up...aww man, ahh well, at least everyone's...o...kay..." Americ's last words were strung out as he and Germany came to a complete halt, staring in horror at what was waiting for them in the back seat of the car.

"Ohhh mon cher..." France breathed softly against England's lips, his hands buried in the Brit's blond, messy locks as he sat straddled on his lap. Amazingly the Brit wasn't resisting, his own hands fisted in France's shirt as their tongues wrestled relentlessly, saliva drooling down both their chins.

America coughed awkwardly, earning their attention. England slowly pulled back, eyes widening when he realised they were being watched. The Brit flushed bright red, slowly releasing the Frenchman, eyes darting about awkwardly. Germany quirked an eyebrow, whilst Japan looked quite disturbed beside them. America shook his head, looking to the Brit for an explanation. England bit his lip, looking away from him, "Well...you said we were going to die!" he blurted out defensively.

America sighed, jumping into the front seat of the car, "Whatever dude. Sorry you had to see that Japan." he said apologetically to the Asian.

"I'm sorry _I_ had to see it..." Germany muttered, shuddering slightly, climbing into the front as well, that sight alone had been enough to make him forget about the state the car was in.

Japan carefully climbed into the back, England shoved France off his lap right to the other side of the car so Japan could slot into the gap between them. Germany hotwired the car again and turned them around, heading back the way they'd come, looking around slightly awkwardly at the complete and utter destruction of many people's back gardens they'd made.

Japan glanced between the two men he was sat by, America turned around in his seat, "Japan this is France." he nodded to the blond

France winked at the smaller man, "Francis."

"...and the one who had his tongue down France's throat is England."

England glared at the American, going a deeper shade of red, "Arthur." he muttered to the Asian.

France smirked slightly, tapping America on the nose, "My my, do I detect a hint of jealousy? How sweet..."

America narrowed his eyes, shifting round in his seat to focus on the road, looking around at the bits of fence and garden furniture decorating the road, "Aww man, we really made a mess."

"Ja...we should go und apologise to all these people."

"No time man." America reached into the glove compartment, taking out the teleportation device, which thankfully remained unharmed, "We better get going."

Germany nodded, backing up the car against the caravan once they'd found it, where it was hooked back onto the car by France, "Ahh my beautiful trailer, how I missed you."

England sighed irritably, crossing his arms against his chest, "Are we getting out of here or what?"

"Why? You eager to jump into France's pants again?" America growled, fiddling with the device in his hands.

Germany quirked an eyebrow in surprise at the American's sudden, almost angry outburst, "...where to now?" he asked, changing the subject.

America shrugged, he'd put himself in a bad mood, "You pick."

Germany sighed, "Fine, let's continue with Asia...how about China?"

"Alright." America set the device to China's capital (having to confirm with the German he'd chosen the correct city) before settling it back down on the dashboard, "Everyone ready?"

"Oui."

"Yes."

"Ja."

"Hai."

"Alright dudes." America pressed down on the big red button, a blast of blue light encasing them, "China here we come!"

* * *

><p><strong>Arigatō - Thank you<strong>  
><strong>Saigo no iitai koto wa? - Any last words?<strong>  
><strong>Hopefully, please God make the translations be correct <strong>

**I love a jealous America! ^_^**

**Also, today I am officially (so long as no one deletes me) on the favourite authors list of 100 members! :D *happy dance* yays thank you! ^_^ I love you all!**


	6. Father to a Nation

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"...you alright dude?"<p>

"...hai..."

"Are you sure?" England asked slightly worriedly, gently tapping the Asian's arm.

Japan nodded slowly, taking a few deep breaths to soothe the nausea he was feeling after the journey, "Hai, thank you..."

America blinked around slowly, slightly confused as he couldn't see very well, "Huh...my glasses steamed up or something?" he muttered, wiping them quickly on the corner of his shirt before replacing them, but his vision was still clouded.

Germany glanced around, frowning slightly, "Nein, Beijing is infamous for its smog..."

France crossed his arms, pouting slightly, "Well zis iz just great, it'z so foggy no can 'ere can see how gorgeous I am."

"Oh shut up." the Brit muttered, glaring at him, "No one wants to see your bloody face."

America opened his mouth to make an off comment remark about the Brit and France's encounter in the back of the convertible just a few minutes before, but shook his head, deciding not to go there again...for now at least, "It does kinda suck, isn't this place supposed to be really pretty?"

Germany nodded, starting up the car he began slowly crawling down the road, taking them deeper into the city, "Ja, but it might not be so bad in some places..." he muttered softly, craning his neck slightly the German discovered he couldn't even see the tops of the towering buildings of the city above them, the air too thick with heavy smog.

In the back of the car Japan was still having slight difficulty adjusting to what had just happened, "...how did we get here?" he asked slowly, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself.

"Teleported dude." America said casually, turning in his seat to face him, "It's best not to ask questions though, just go with it."

England nodded, "Yes, if you start asking too many questions it'll all get too complicated and worrying."

"Oui, it'z more fun to just accept zat we are all ze chosen ones for our nations." France said with a slight smirk, leaning back against the leather seats, "You are honoured are you not?"

Japan nodded slowly, still looking quite disturbed, "Hai...well, you all saved me so I will stay with you...but please do not be insulted when I tell you I think you are all insane."

America laughed loudly, ruffling the Asian's hair, "Well as long as you stay with us dude you can think what the hell you like!"

"Alfred." the German said gruffly beside him, slowing down for a red light.

"Yeah dude?"

"Where are we going?"

America sighed, "Dude how are you not getting this yet? We never know where we're going, we just drive around and hope for the best." he said, glancing down at his stomach when it gave a sudden ferocious growl, "...but uhh, you think we could stop for a bite to eat first? Haven't eaten for nearly two days."

"Yes me too." England said, reaching for his wallet, "...I don't have a whole lot of money left though..."

"I have money." Germany said, scanning around for a suitable place to eat, "We'll have to eat somewhere that will take a foreign card however...do you all like Chinese food?"

"Aww hell yeah I get it in take out all the time!" America announced happily, "I always get the ribs for starters and the chicken fried rice-"

"Alfred..." England interrupted, smirking slightly, "I do hope you realise that actual Chinese food will be absolutely nothing like the Chinese food you get from take outs at home."

America looked confused, "Really?"

"Hai." Japan nodded in agreement, "It is the same with Japanese food, no disrespect to your nations but Westerners tend to put their own incorrect interpretation of Asian cuisine."

"Oh..." America frowned slightly, looking quite disappointed, "...well...doesn't matter, I'm sure it'll still be good, and I'm so hungry I could eat anything right now...pull in somewhere Germany."

"Ludwig." the German growled, slowing down he pulled into the car park of the nearest restaurant, the building shaped like a Chinese temple, the car park jam packed with vehicles and people filing in and out of the restaurant. Struggling for a few moments the German managed to find a parking space, having to leave the car sticking out awkwardly as most of the space was taken up by France's 'trailer'.

"If someone bashes into the car..." Germany muttered softly, glancing back at the convertible with concern as all made their way up to the front door of the restaurant.

America shrugged slightly, "Come on man like it would make a difference, it's already pretty messed up from that car chase." he said, holding the door open for them as they filed in one by one, England was the last to enter who accidentally brushed up against the American's chest slightly as he passed, causing a blush to rise to both their cheeks

"Hallo we'd like a table for five please." the German said to one of the waiters, standing awkwardly close to the other guys as the room was crowded with people.

The waiter conversed in Chinese for a moment with another waiter across the room, who hurriedly scrambled around for some empty seats, cramming them up against the one, unbelievably small table that was left in the restaurant, before beckoning them over. All five of them eventually managed to be seated around this miniscule table after wedging themselves in and out of all the available place, sitting uncomfortably close together. The waiter dropped some menus onto their table, muttered something about their specials in his broken English before rushing off to serve some drinks.

"Anyone catch that?" America muttered softly, picking up a menu, squinting at the writing in Chinese.

"Nein, maybe we should have gone somewhere more Western..." Germany said, attempting to push his chair out so he wasn't so crammed up against Japan and France but there was very limited place from their table to the ones around them.

"Or less crowded." England said dryly, squirming uncomfortably as he was either pressed into America's side or practically sitting on France's lap...he didn't know which one was more awkward.

"This whole damn city is crowded forget the restaurant. "America said, gazing out of the window at the front of the restaurant for a moment, watching the vast crowds of Chinese people milling past before turning back to the menu, "Hey Japan, I don't mean to sound racist or anything but can you read Chinese?" he asked, holding one out to the Asian.

Japan took the menu unsurely, "...I may be able to get the general feel of it."

America smiled, patting him on the back, "Well in that case you better order for all of us, just get a good selection of stuff."

"Ja, und if they have any beer that would be good too."

"...and tea, right England?" America asked, turning to the Brit their shoulders brushing together awkwardly close.

England blushed slightly, trying to lean away as much as possible, "No, not in foreign countries...water will be fine."

Japan nodded slowly, scanning through the menu for a few minutes he selected, what he hoped, would be a suitable choice, it took quite a while before a waiter finally made their way over to take their orders, and what with the unbelievable crowdedness of the restaurant, they doubted they'd get their food any time soon.

**~0~**

"Aww man this is getting ridiculous now..." America said, sighing irritably, fingers drumming across the top of the table.

"Be patient, they're very busy." Germany said, sipping on his beer, at least they'd finally gotten their drinks.

"Dude it's been nearly forty minutes, I'm starving! If I don't get some food soon I'll die."

France rolled his eyes, "Good, zen you'll stop complaining."

"Oh shut up frog! I wish you would bugger off and die." England hissed in a bout of anger, causing everyone at the table to blink in surprise.

France pouted slightly, "Ohh Arthur you don't mean zat...after all who would you go to for your sexual needs?" the blond drawled, snaking an arm around the Brit's shoulders.

England glared at him, flushing bright red he elbowed France in the ribs but they were crammed too close together for him to be able to remove the offending arm, "Any sexual needs I might have I would thank you too keep well away."

"Yao!" the five of them looked up when they heard one of the waiters shouting into the kitchens of the restaurant in Chinese, an argument breaking out between them, they then turned to Japan for a translation.

Japan bit his lip, forehead wrinkling with concentration as he tried to pick up what was being said, "I...I think they want the chefs to start helping to serve food because they are short staffed."

"Then who's gonna cook the food?" America asked, frowning slightly.

"God sake Alfred is that all you can think about?" England asked, rolling his eyes, despite the fact that he could feel his own stomach growling in frustration.

After another few moments of angrily yelling in the Chinese language, several of the chefs finally emerged from the kitchens, quickly and carefully manoeuvring their way in and out of tables, carrying steaming plates of food on trays. One of the chefs eventually arrived at their table, a tall Chinese man with long brown hair tied up in a pony tail, hurriedly dropping several plates down in front of them.

"Many apologies for the delay." the gabbed quickly before taking off again for the next table.

Had he dithered for even a second less at their table, the American might have completely missed the fact that this chef was unbelievably familiar, "Dude!" America completely disregarded the food under his nose and jumped to his feet, craning his neck to get another look at this chef from across the room, just to be sure.

"What is it Mr America?" Japan asked, trying to look where the American was looking.

"Dude, I think that was China!"

Germany looked up from his noodles, "What? You mean the chef just then?"

"Yeah dude I'm sure that was him!" America announced excitedly, still desperately trying to get a better look at the man's face but he was already making a hasty retreat back to the kitchen, "I'm gonna go talk to him!"

Before any of them could voice a protest the American was already weaving his way in and out of the tables, following the chefs to the kitchen door, "Oh for God sake..." England muttered, sighing deeply, getting to his feet, "He's going to get himself beaten up, come on Ludwig."

"Why me?" the German growled.

England pushed back his chair, side stepping through the small gap between his chair and the table behind them, "Because you're the closet thing we've got to a body guard now come on!" he snapped, grasping the German by the shoulder he pulled him to his feet, half dragging him after the American into the kitchen.

"Please, I do not have time for this..." the Chinese man groaned in frustration, pushing past the interfering American to get to his over flowing wok.

"Dude, look, you have to come with us! Please I know it's crazy but you're China! I'm America and you're China, and I gotta get everyone together and get everything back to normal come on dude!" America begged, grabbing onto the Chinese man's long sleeve, tugging at it.

"I am very busy! Please return to your seats you should not be back here!" China said firmly, pulling away from the blond he went back to his wok, tipping some stir fry into bowls laid out on the counter.

"Alfred please, let's talk to him later, he's right we shouldn't be back here." the Brit said, dodging out the way as a chef stormed past, large tray held high above his head, hot dishes hissing and spraying at them.

"Can't you take a break?" America asked, moving aside as the waiters swarmed the counter to grab the plates, shooting him weird and confused looks as to why he was there.

"A...break?" China said slowly, as if the concept was foreign to him. He shook his head, dragging some sacks of various vegetables towards him, piling them out onto the counter to chop.

"Well maybe we could help you get your work done faster." America suggested, looking to the other two for confirmation, "Germany, England? Can you cook?...oh no wait what am I saying, of course you can't cook, I know that..."

England glared at him, "I happen to be an excellent cook!"

"Ja but that doesn't mean we're going to help. Alfred we're disturbing him, let's just get back to our table und we can come und find him when his shift is over."

China nodded, not really paying attention, his hands frantically moving across the counter as he prepared the food, "Yes, if we must talk it can be at ten o clock when I'm finished, now please return to your seats before my boss sees you back here!"

"But-"

"Come on Alfred!" England said firmly, he and Germany grabbed an arm each, dragging him out the kitchen door back into the crowded restaurant, sitting him back down at their table, "Honestly Alfred, it doesn't matter that in your head you know this guy, for him you're just a stranger and he doesn't need you badgering him at work."

"He shouldn't even have a job." America muttered, digging into his food the second he was seated, sighing in relief at the chance to eat after so long.

England rolled his eyes, taking a sip of water, "People have to work for a living, you wouldn't understand that."

"So China was the chef that was here before?" Japan asked, looking up from his bowl, chopsticks held expertly in his fingers.

Germany nodded, "Ja apparently so, this so called 'magic force' the American is so fond of must be working again."

Japan looked incredibly confused, "...magic...force?"

"Don't ask..." the Brit muttered, attempting to hold the chopsticks between his fingers, "...how do you use these bloody things?"

America shrugged slightly, "Just eat with your face."

"What? Alfred, who in their right mind-" the Brit could only stare at the American in shock as he lifted his bowl of noodles to his mouth, literally drinking them down. England shook his head, "That's disgusting."

Japan smiled slightly, holding out his hand he showed the Brit how to hold the chopsticks, France and Germany also attempting to copy whilst America continued to wolf everything down with his face and his hands, "Aww man, it feels so good to eat again."

"So where iz zis China guy zen?" France asked, struggling for a moment under the cramped table he managed to cross one leg over the other.

"We're getting him after work." England said, checking his watch, "At ten, three hours from now."

America frowned, "Three hours? Aww man…" he swallowed the last of his starter, reaching into the centre of the table for his menu, "...how much money you got Germany?"

The blond raised an eyebrow but decided not to correct him about his name, "A fair amount, why?"

"Cause we got three hours dude, might as well order everything on the menu..."

**~0~**

"I'm so full..." the Brit groaned softly, leaning up outside the wall of the restaurant, checking his watch again, "...he should be out any minute."

America nodded, jumping up onto the hood of the convertible by France, just staring at the backdoor of the restaurant for China, "...do you think he'll believe us?"

"If not you could always kidnap him." the German said dryly, shoving the Frenchman off the car he took his place beside the American.

America smirked slightly, "At least it works."

"Oh...you're really still here." they all looked up as the man in question emerged from the back door of the restaurant, wearing a long black, Chinese style coat over his work clothes.

America smiled, hopping off the car, "Hey dude, you ready to listen to us now?"

China shook his head, "I have to get to work." he said, side stepping past him.

America looked confused, "Huh? But you just finished work! Dude!" he called after the Asian, who was hurriedly making his way onto the streets, blending in with the crowds, "Aww hell come on guys we gotta follow him..." America said, leading everyone out of the car park they set off in pursuit of China, hurrying in and out of the crowds of people to keep up with him.

Thankfully the Asian soon came to a complete stop on a busy street corner, undoing the front of his long coat he held it open, revealing row after row of shiny silver and gold watches. "Watches! Genuine Rolex watches! One of a kind!" he called to all the passing Western tourists, holding out a few of these shady devices.

America stared at him, slowly shaking his head, "Jesus, this is work?"

"Do you not have street sellers in America?" Germany asked.

America shrugged, watching from a distance as a group of tourists approached the Asian, taking an immediate interest in the watches, "I guess...but why does he need to sell watches when he's a chef?"

"Does it really bloody matter?" England demanded, shivering slightly in his short sleeved t-shirt, "Just hurry up and tell him why we're here so we can get back to the car, I'm freezing."

"Alright, alright..." America muttered, making his way over to China he pushed his way past all the tourists to talk to him, "Dude, you remember what I was talking to you about earlier in the kitchen?"

"Yes." China said, not really paying attention, holding out several of the watches to passers by, "Come and get your very own genuine Rolex watch! Super cheap!"

America grabbed his arm, pulling him back round to face him, "Dude listen, me and the guys have come here to collect you, you're the human representation of the nation of China, and you gotta come with us to-"

"Miss! You would like to buy one of my watches?" China completely disregarded the American, following a young woman he'd spotted down the street, holding out the watches to her.

America sighed in exasperation, following him, "Dude! Seriously can you just listen to me for a second?"

China glanced up at the American, glaring slightly, "I am very busy! Please leave me alone to my work!"

"But dude we've been waiting to see you for hours! Put the stupid watches down and listen to me!"

"This...isn't going so well is it?" Germany muttered, watching the two of them argue from a distance.

England sighed, "Yes I see what you mean, maybe if we gave him some sort of incentive he'd listen to reason."

"I could offer him my services..." France suggested, smirking slightly, running a hand through his blond locks, earning him disgusted looks from the other two.

Japan wasn't listening to the conversation, too engrossed with observing the watches in China's hands. He looked over at the Asian curiously, slowly approaching him, getting a closer look at these so called genuine watches, "...these are fake."

China stopped arguing with the American, glaring over his shoulder at Japan, "They are genuine!"

Japan shook his head, taking one of the watches, "No, these are completely fake." he said, slowly turning it around in his hands.

China glanced around in panic, hitting Japan's arm, "SHH! They are genuine Rolexes! You can't prove anything!"

America rolled his eyes, "Dudes forget the watches, China come on man..." he took hold of the Asian's sleeve, tugging him back round to face him, "You need to come with us."

"I have a living to earn." China said, snatching the watch back from Japan, "Now are you going to buy a watch or not?"

England sighed irritably, storming up to them he hurriedly undid the silver watch from around his own wrist, holding it up to the Asian, "Look, this is a genuine Rolex okay? A real one, not like the fake ones you're trying to flog. I will give you this, if you agree to listen to reason and come with us."

China blinked slowly, taking the watch from the Brit he turned it over in his hands, examining it from every angle, smiling up at him when he'd finally concluded it was real, "Okay, if you insist you may all come back to my home."

"Huh?" America looked around in confusion, "Your home? Dude I thought you gonna come with us."

China shook his head, pocketing the Brit's watch, "I cannot leave my home, but you foreigners may accompany me for the night."

America sighed, "But dude-"

"Alfred." England growled, elbowing him in the side before smiling back at the Asian, "We'd love to, I'm Arthur."

Japan nodded, "Kiku."

France winked, he and Germany having made their way over, "Francis."

Germany held out his hand, "Ludwig."

America sighed, "Alfred...call me America."

China smiled, doing up his coat to conceal the watches, "I'm Yao Wang."

**~0~**

"This is my home." China said, holding open the front door to his tiny apartment, letting everyone inside before closing it softly behind them, "Please take off your shoes." All the guys went about removing their footwear but America could only stand still, staring in shock at what was sat in China's living room, looking up with glee when the Asian entered the room.

"Fùqin!" several little kids jumped up from where they'd been sat on the floor, rushing over to hug China. China smiled happily, bending down he lifted the smallest of his children, the rest still milling around his legs, cuddling tightly. After a few moments a tall Chinese woman emerged from the kitchen, smiling she went to give China a kiss, helping to prize the children off his legs.

America's jaw was practically on the floor, he only came to when Germany clipped him around the back of the head, telling him to take his shoes off. The American did as he was told, still in a state of shock, "...shit dude...China has a family..."

The younger of the Asian's children were gazing with wonder at these strange men in their home, one of them skipped over, tugging on Germany's hand, "You're Western!" she announced happily in her Chinese accent, looking pleased with herself for using English.

"Uhhh..." Germany glanced around awkwardly, "Ja, I'm from Germany."

She giggled slightly, one of her brothers joining her he grabbed hold of France, "Come play! Play with us! Father, these Westerners can play with us yes?"

China looked up, smiling slightly, their English was coming along well, "Okay, but bed time in ten minutes."

Germany and France looked slightly confused and unsure as they were dragged into the living room by these small children, Japan looked curiously to America, who had been strangely silent since they'd arrived, "Mr America? Are you okay?"

America nodded slowly, leaning back against the front door, "Yeah...just a bit weirded out."

Japan nodded slowly even though he didn't understand, "Hello." China's, what they could safely assume was his wife, said, smiling at the three of them, "Would you like to join us in the kitchen for some tea?"

Japan nodded, bowing to her, "Arigato, that would be nice."

"Well...I suppose I could brace foreign tea just this once...Alfred?"

America nodded slowly, not quite able to look her in the eye, "Yeah...I guess so..."

**~0~**

America sighed softly, threading a hand through the hair at the back of his head, stretching tiredly. He'd finally managed to slip away from the kitchen leaving Japan alone with the Wang's, England had disappeared almost twenty minutes ago and the American was starting to wonder where he'd gotten to. Stepping back into the living room the Brit was nowhere in sight, he was certain he wouldn't be upstairs so the American decided to try the balcony.

Sure enough he was there, stood leaning against the railings, gazing out into the city. America smiled slightly, slowly wandering over to him, "So this is where you are."

"Hm?" the Brit looked up, smiling slightly, "Oh...hey Alfred."

"What are you doing out here?" America asked, standing beside England, leaning casually against the railings.

England shrugged slightly, "Just wanted to get some air...look," he nodded out at the city in the horizon, "...there's barely any smog around this area, you can really see the city."

"Yeah..." America said softly, gazing out at the beautiful, sparkling, colourful lights of Beijing, buildings lighting up the starry night sky, casting a heavenly glow across the horizon, "Dude, it's beautiful."

England nodded in agreement, "It is lovely..."

America nodded again, eyes drifting away from the city to look at England, he'd never noticed before but the Brit actually looked quite sweet, especially in his white policeman shirt, he'd undone the top buttons and it was probably the most casual he'd ever looked. England looked up at him curiously, causing a slight blush to rise to the American's cheeks that he'd been caught staring, he coughed awkwardly, looking away, "...so...uhh...China's wife's pretty cool, I don't think I got her name."

England thought for a second, "...Taina...and their children are Sadi, Delun, Guozhi, Huan, Jiang...and I didn't catch the name of the youngest...I think they're all upstairs making Francis and Ludwig tell them stories."

America slowly shook his head, leaning back on the balls of his feet, gripping onto the balcony railings for support, "Man...this is so fucked up."

"What is?"

America let out a slight laugh, letting go of the railings, gripping the back of his head, "Kids! China has kids! And a wife! What is up with that?"

England quirked an eyebrow, "Well you know Alfred, we do have lives we lived before meeting you."

"Yeah I know but...man...kids, just..." America muttered, shaking his head, resting back against the railings, "...crazy."

England shrugged, rubbing his eyes tiredly, "I suppose, in your eyes, was Yao not a family man back when you knew him?" he asked, resting his chin on his hand.

America started swinging back and forth on the railings, biting his lip in thought, "Well...we're countries so, no...no one is, I mean some of us have siblings I guess but kids is something else." the American stopped moving all of a sudden, thinking about his own words, he cringed, burying his head in his hands, leaning his elbows against the railings, "...aww man..." he groaned softly.

England titled his head to the side curiously, "Hm?"

America sighed deeply, slowly standing back up, "He won't come with us...will he?"

England bit his lip slightly, "...I had thought this too...it'd be unlikely he'd want to leave his children or his wife."

"Yeah...damn it..." he muttered softly, drumming his fingers against the railings in thought, glancing at the Brit thoughtfully, "Don't suppose you have anything else to give him?"

England smirked slightly, "Apart from the watch? No, nothing."

America looked at him apologetically, gently patting his back, "...I'm sorry about that by the way England...having to give him your watch and all..."

England shivered slightly at the hand on his back, shrugging slightly, "It's okay...no skin off my nose really, I didn't pay for it."

"Huh?"

"My ex girlfriend got it for me." England said simply, looking quite perplexed when the American's mouth fell open, "...what?"

America slowly shook his head, staring at him in complete shock, "Girlfriend? Are you serious?"

England's fuzzy brows knitted together, "Yes...why?"

America blinked slowly before laughing slightly, "Nothing...sorry man, just so weird to get used to." he shook his head, sighing slightly, "...I mean I know you guys have lives and whatever it's just...weird to think, I mean you've probably all had relationships and stuff I mean you are human...hell this Alfred guy probably has it's just...weird to think about."

England nodded slowly, "I suppose it would be...I mean especially since you don't even know who you've been with, having no memory of it."

"I don't really care about that." America said, shrugging slightly, biting his lip, "...although...I know who you've been with." he muttered, tongue in cheek.

England looked away, blushing heavily, crossing his arms against the railings, "...I'm...I'm sorry about that Alfred...all that business with Francis back in Tokyo..." he muttered softly, thanking God for the darkness meaning the American couldn't see the red staining his cheeks.

America shrugged slightly, "...hey don't worry about..." he said, trying to pretend it hadn't bothered him in the slightest, "I gotta know though, you haven't really got the hots for him have you?"

"No!" England blurted out, whipping back round to stare at the American in horror, "God no...I just genuinely thought we were going to die...thought any second now those men would come and shoot us, so when Francis suggested it I don't know..." he shrugged, visibly cringing, "Didn't think I'd live to regret it I suppose..."

"Well...at least you're not attracted to him, don't know what I'd do if you were." America said, not thinking about his words before he'd said them.

England looked up at him curiously, "...why's that?" he asked softly, shivering slightly as a particularly strong breeze whipped past them.

America blushed slightly, swallowing heavily, "...just...you don't like France..." he muttered vaguely, noticing the shiver, "...you cold?"

England nodded slowly, "...my jackets in the caravan." he said softly, finding himself suddenly face to face with the American.

"Here..." America breathed softly, hesitating ever so slightly before one of his arms slipped around England's waist, pulling him closer so their chests were brushing softly together. England bit his lip, resting his shaking hands against the centre of America's chest, gazing up at him with his deep green eyes, shining with confusion and just a little fear. America swallowed, his own hand shaking as he lifted it to gently rest on the Brit's warm, red stained cheek, delicately trailing his fingers across his soft skin. "...is that better?" he mumbled, voice croaking slightly.

"Hmm..." England murmured softly, fingers gently tugging at the American's bomber jacket, leaning up against his warm, welcoming chest. America tightened the arm around the Brit's waist, fingers sliding down his cheek to his chin, gently tilting it up towards him, their faces growing steadily closer together, their hot breath mingling, cascading across each other's lips. "Alfred..." England whispered softly, stopping the American in his tracks, his voice sounding odd in the tense silence.

America dragged his eyes away from the Brit's lips to gaze back into his eyes, "...yeah?"

England bit his lip, hands tightening on the American's jacket, "...are you sure you want this?" he breathed softly, leaning up ever so slightly, their noses softly bumping together.

America swallowed heavily, heart pounding in his chest, he nodded slowly, fingers softly curling into the hair at the back of England's neck, "Yeah..." he breathed softly, pulling him closer, their eyes drifting closed as they both dared to make the final move, take the final plunge...their lips merely millimetres apart, their chests pressed so closely together their heartbeats had become one, hands trembling with both fear and excitement-

"Mr America? Mr Arthur?" in an instant they broke apart, putting a good few feet between them as their faces simultaneously heated up, eyes darting about awkwardly as Japan appeared on the balcony.

"Hey Japan!" America said a little louder than he should have, waving cheerily, "What's up?"

"I just came to tell you that Mr Wang is alone now as his wife has gone to bed...so I thought now the best chance to talk to him."

America nodded slowly, "Alright." he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, following the Asian back into the house with his tail between his legs, the Brit following shortly after.

"Gott sake..." Germany muttered, wincing slightly as he finally made his way downstairs, "I don't mind giving children piggy back rides but not when it's all of them at the same time!"

France laughed slightly, following the German down the stairs, "I thought it waz very amusing." he said, smirking slightly, jumping onto China's sofa.

China came back out of his kitchen, yawning slightly, "I do not have anywhere for you to sleep but you're welcome to use the floor."

"Dude we're not here to stay the night." America said firmly, making a stand, "Told you man, you've got to come with us."

China sighed, "Whether your story is true or not I cannot possibly leave, I have a family to support."

"Not in the real universe!" America said in exasperation, "Dude I know it's hard to believe but none of this is real, these people aren't real."

China glared at him, "They are my family and I love them!"

"China..." America placed his hands firmly on the Asian's shoulders, "Listen...you have the chance to be the father to an entire nation! Please...I know it's difficult, I'm asking a lot of you, and I know we can't just buy you off with a watch...but dude we need you."

China shook his head, "...I can't possibly leave my family."

"Dude..." America sighed, scratching the back of his neck, "Look, I can guarantee we'll have gathered everyone else within the next few days or so...can't you just come with us for that? You'll be back with your family in no time."

France looked up confused, "Wait what? I thought we-"

"SHH!" England hissed, smacking France round the back of the head.

China dithered unsurely, shrugging slightly, there was no denying that he could use a break from his hectic work filled routine, "...where would you take me?"

"To get Italy and Russia, please dude...we need you, I promise it'll be worth it."

"...and you'll bring me back within the next couple of days?"

"Ja." Germany said from the sofa, "They're taking me back to Berlin once this ridiculous mission is over."

China bit his lip, playing with his long sleeves for a few moments, mulling it over, "...I need to speak with my wife."

America nodded, smiling slightly, "Take all the time you need dude, and when you're ready, we'll be outside in the car."

**~0~**

"He won't come with us." Germany growled, drumming his fingers impatiently against the car steering wheel.

"Give him time." America said certainly, still staring up at the house from the driveway. His eyes briefly caught England's in the rear view mirror momentarily before they both hurriedly looked away, blushing heavily.

"How long does it take to say goodbye to someone?" Germany muttered, sighing irritably he climbed out of the car.

France quirked an eyebrow, "Where are you going?"

"To have a lie down." Germany muttered, climbing into the caravan, "Before I start hurting you all." he growled, slamming the door shut behind him.

Japan looked slightly worried, "...is something wrong with Mr Ludwig?"

America shrugged, "He's just an angry guy..." he looked up as the tearful Asian suddenly came out of the house, wiping his eyes as he wandered over to them, "...hey China." he said kindly, smiling at him.

China slowly got into the front of the convertible beside America where the German had been, "...I love my wife very much."

"Did she understand?" Japan asked, buckling his seatbelt as he remembered the bumpiness of their last journey.

China nodded, "Yes, very...let us leave now before I change my mind."

"Alright dude." America leant towards the dashboard, fiddling around with the buttons on the device.

"...where are we going now?" England asked softly, not able to look at the American.

America shook his head, "Germany's really starting to piss me off now, we're gonna go get the one guy who can make him bearable." he leant back in his seat, the device's screen flashing up with 'Rome', "...we're going to get Italy."

* * *

><p><strong>Does the sweet USUKness make up for the amount of hate I got for the FrUKness in the previous chaper? XD<strong>

**Fùqin - Father**

**Reviews are love :)**


	7. When in Rome

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?  
><strong>

* * *

><p>China's hands slowly released the leather car seats he'd had a tight death grip on, blinking slowly at the towering historical buildings of the sunny city of Rome. The night sky that had loomed over them in Beijing had vanished, the sun now only just beginning to set in the distance, as if they had just stepped back in time. "This...is Italy?" China said slowly, flexing his hands slightly.<p>

America nodded, blinking rapidly to adjust to the sudden change in brightness, "Yeah dude...Rome's the capital...right?"

"Yes it is." England said, shifting in his seat so he could look behind them into the distance, "Oh wow, there's the Coliseum, do you reckon we could do a little sight seeing while we're here?" he asked, craning his neck to get a better look at the ancient building, "I've never been to Italy before."

"Neither have I, but perhaps we should stick to our plan." Japan said, carefully unbuckling his seatbelt, stretching slightly in his seat.

"I agree dude." America said, smiling in surprise at Japan's eagerness, climbing out of the convertible, "I guess I better go and get Germany, he won't wanna miss this."

"What did you mean when you said zis Italy person iz ze only one who can make him bearable?" France asked, lifting his legs up to rest on the Brit's lap.

England shoved them off roughly, "Yes, and are you sure it will work?"

America smirked slightly, "Trust me dude, those two, and you Japan, are solid...you're like the only guys who don't argue with each other, you're all buddies!"

Japan looked up curiously, "Mr Ludwig is my...buddy?" he said in slight bewilderment, in the short amount of time he'd known the German he'd only ever been intimidated by him.

"Yeah dude you three are homies, so I'm hoping Italy will be the chill pill Germany needs." he stopped when he thought about his own words, "...although, Italy's kinda hyperactive so we'll have to deal with that." America hopped over to the caravan, letting himself inside to get the German.

England sighed, rolling his eyes, "Oh great, as if we need a hyperactive person to go with the pervert and the scary German we've already got."

"Who's a pervert?" China asked, looking slightly shocked.

France smirked slightly, "Well, I prefer ze term passionate lover."

"Okay where is he then?" Germany growled, stepping out of the caravan, wincing slightly in the sunlight.

"Ludwig, we have no idea, we need to find him, how do you not understand the concept yet?" England asked, raising a bushy eyebrow.

Germany glared at him, "Well then can we please get on with this idiotic search party so I can get back home to Berlin?"

America closed the door of the caravan, sighing inwardly, Germany sure was going to kill him when he discovered that he had no intention of taking him back...China too for that matter, "Alright, any of you got any idea where we should go?"

"Why don't you just use your magic?" France said with a slight smirk.

China looked round at them in slight horror, "...magic?"

"I can't just turn the magic on like a switch." America said with a roll of the eyes, jumping into the car seat beside France as Japan had clambered out, the Asian now wandering around to the other side of the convertible to get a look at the building they were parked up by.

"...magic? Are you an idiot?" China asked in bewilderment.

"It's not real magic." Germany said with an exasperated sigh, leaning back against the hood of the convertible, "The American seems to think there is an invisible force working with us to help us locate these people...although for all we know he could just be making it up as he goes along und he's never even met any of us."

"Dude stop that, that's stupid." the American said hurriedly as China looked slightly startled at the notion, "I know you guys okay? And there are damn good reasons why you're all the representations of your countries."

"Oui, after all only someone as beautiful as moi could represent my homeland."

"Oh shut it, frog."

"Everyone, look over here." all five of them looked up curiously at Japan who was staring up at the large, theatre like building they'd pulled up by, "...come read this."

America hopped back out of the convertible to join Japan, closely followed by the others, "What is it dude?"

Japan pointed to the list of entertainment posted up on the wall of the theatre, "Read this."

America squinted at the writing, "Dude I can't read Italian."

England sighed, nudging him out of the way, "There's an English translation at the bottom." he leant in to read the entertainment listing, "Our main act for the evening, presenting Mr Feliciano Vargas...described by Eros Ramazzotti as the very heart of Italy." the Brit said slowly, looking around at the others, "...you don't think...?"

"Hai, my thoughts exactly."

America read it through again, "Aw dude!" he beamed, throwing his arms around the Asian who stiffened instantly, "Awesome dude! You found him!"

"Calm down yank, it might not be him." Germany growled, yet was already making his way to the front entrance of the glitzy theatre, "...but it may be worth a look."

England nodded, reading through the time listing, "The shows starting in about ten minutes, we better get some tickets."

**~0~**

A few minutes later the guys found themselves sat around a circular table in the front row of the Italian theatre, the stage wasn't yet lit and the curtains were drawn as the show had yet to start. France carefully manoeuvred his way over to their table, placing a tray of drinks down in front of them all, "Okay who had ze beer?"

England raised an eyebrow, "Why are you bringing us our drinks Francis?"

"Ze waiter was taking too long, so I went behind ze bar and made zem myself." he said casually, handing everyone their drinks.

"Francis! You can't just do that!" England hissed at him, moving his chair closer to America's so the Frenchman could slot down beside him.

"Who cares? We'll be leaving ze country soon." he said with a shrug, taking a sip of red wine.

England shook his head, "You all have a total disregard for rules and order don't you?" he muttered, turning around in his seat he caught America's gaze and blushed slightly, eyes shifting away awkwardly. They had yet to discuss what had almost happened back in China's house. He looked up when he felt the American leaning into him slightly and managed to smile, cheeks slowly going red yet thankfully the lights in the theatre were steadily dimming, hiding any evidence of his embarrassment.

"I think it's starting." China whispered, watching the stage with awe as the first set of curtains were drawn back and an Italian man in a bright red suit practically danced on stage to a loud chorus of drums and trumpets, a big cheesy grin on his face. He spoke into the microphone in Italian for a few minutes, warming up the crowd with what the guys could assume were jokes as everyone, with the exception of their table, was laughing. He then announced the names of the acts that were to come, including the name that had been up on the poster the guys had read outside, this name was followed by a loud round of applause from everyone in the theatre before the man skipped off stage, the curtains behind him slowly drawing back to reveal the first act.

"Yes! I knew it had to be him..." America whispered excitedly as the stage lit up, revealing who was stood centre stage, in front of a microphone.

Everyone gazed up from their seats at this man on stage, a sweet, copper haired Italian with one hair curl stuck out of the side of his head, wearing a light blue collared shirt with a black blazer. He was fiddling nervously with the cuffs on his shirt, face contorted slightly as he tried to keep smiling. After a few more tense, awkward moments, the theatre was filled with the loud yet soft sound of piano music, accompanied by strings from the live band just below the stage.

The Italian bit his lip, counting the notes in his head before he took a long breath, and started to sing, "Resto solo dentro me, chiudo a chiave l'anima, ed il tempo mi sbiadirà, tralasciandomi così..." his voice was soft and sweet, almost hallowing to listen to, "C'è un silenzio fragile, sintomo di esistere, ma il mio grido libererò, e come tempesta una scossa ti riaccenderò...voce nel vento tu sarai, nota di un canto e tu ritornerai, a svegliare i dolori miei..."

America watched Italy on stage in slight bewilderment, "Dude...he sounds pretty awesome."

"Yes...it's quite lovely, was he a singer back when you knew him?" England asked softly, gazing up at the American.

America shrugged, "Didn't really think he was man...hey Germany, you alright?" he asked, glancing at the German with concern, the blond looked completely stunned, sat ridged in his seat.

"J-Ja..." the German croaked slightly, clearing his throat, eyes not once looking away from his beautiful Italian boy...his voice was utterly angelic.

Italy smiled shyly, gazing straight ahead, not able to look at the audience, "Resto solo dentro me, prendo a pugni l'anima, la memoria mi tradirà, arrendendosi anche a me. Questa rabbia è debole, contro le tue maschere, così dura è la verità, che come una resa una presa mi raggiungerà..." the Italian took a deep breath ready to belt out the chorus of the song, "Voce nel vento tu sarai, nota di un canto e tu ritornerai, a svegliare i dolori miei...voce nel vento resterai, nero rimpianto e mi travolgerai, il mio tempo lo fermi tu...e ti vedo come sei, sai di alibi che mi griderò, dai miei polsi ti slegherò, per difendermi...voce nel vento tu sarai..." he sang, soft voice echoing throughout the theatre.

"He's so handsome..." France purred softly, resting his chin on his hand, looking up in surprise as the German hit him across the back of the neck, "Ow! What waz zat for?"

Germany glared at him very briefly before his eyes immediately snapped back to the Italian on stage, "Don't be such a pervert..." he muttered, blue eyes softening when he started watching Italy again.

Italy took a deep breath, taking hold of the microphone in one hand, as he sang out the lyrics, "Voce nel vento resterai, nero rimpianto e mi travolgerai, il mio tempo lo fermi tu...ohhhh..." his voice softened, gently releasing the microphone, "...resti sola dentro me, prendi a morsi l'anima, e il respiro ti cercherà, e in quel silenzio l'assenza di te parlerà...tu non ti allontani mai..." Italy finished softly, his voice wavering slightly on the last notes as his nerves were getting the better of him.

A loud round of applause was sounded as the Italian finished, especially from the German in the front row, who had been entirely transfixed by the young man's performance. The Italian mumbled his thanks into the microphone before practically running off stage, hands trembling at his sides.

"Bless him, he was terrified." England said, smirking slightly, taking a sip on his pint of beer.

"He sounded...wunderbar..." the German muttered softly, cheeks tingeing slightly pink as the guys looked up at him.

"Yeah he sounded pretty awesome." America agreed, finishing his coke, "Right come on guys, let's get back stage and talk to him before his next song." he said, getting up from the table as quietly as possible, ushering the guys away as the next act took to the stage.

**~0~**

"Alfred I don't think we should be back here..." England hissed, he and the guys having snuck backstage when the body guard was distracted, now they were dawdling in the backstage corridor, hiding behind a rail of sparkly costumes as people occasionally walked past towards the stage door, stage hands speaking into walkie talkies or performers hurrying past to get on stage.

America poked his head out of the rails between some costumes; eyes wandering across each of the doors in the corridor until they landed on the one with 'Feliciano Vargas' pinned up on it, "Dudes that's his dressing room..."

"You think they are just going to let us in?" China asked sceptically, joining the American.

"Hey it's not that exclusive...maybe we could just knock on the door, he's a really nice guy I'm sure he'd be okay with it." America said certainly, although he made sure the corridor was empty before he led everyone out from behind the costume rail, down the corridor to the Italian's dressing room. Just outside the door was a cart filled with many beautiful bouquets of flowers, all addressed to the Italian, Germany slyly pulled one of the red roses out of one of the bouquets, hiding it behind his back as he stood with the others, just outside the Italian's door.

"I don't think he is alone in there..." Japan breathed softly, hearing more than one voice from inside the dressing room.

America pressed his ear up against the door, straining to listen to the conversation going on inside, he could hear the Italian's voice followed by a much louder, over excited one, "You did great Feli! What did I tell you huh? You'll be a star! You're on your way kid, there's no stopping us!"

Italy sighed softly, slowly taking off his blazer, "Sì..."

"Aww Feli you're gonna love being famous, your name in lights, travelling all around the world, performing to thousands and thousands of people every night..."

America furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Dude...that guy sounds American." he said rather loudly, forgetting to be quiet he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth as the man inside the dressing room stopped talking, "...aww crap."

The man who had been talking to the Italian suddenly opened the door, causing the American to stumble as he'd been pressed up against it; he looked around at them all in utter confusion, "Yeah? Can I help you?"

"Uhhh...hi!" America grinned, waving at the man, needing to think on his feet, "My name's Alfred Jones." he announced, holding out his hand, "I'm an agent representing uhh...a big American music company." beside him the Brit sighed, slapping his forehead, "...from Hollywood! And uh...I heard your guy sing, urm...Mr Vargas, and uhh...I'm interested in signing him up for a record deal!"

The man looked at him, one eyebrow raised, "...and what about all these other guys?"

"Uhhh they're also record deal guys! From other countries, we're all interested in your guy; getting him gigs and stuff...right Arthur?"

England sighed inwardly, putting on a smile, "Oh yes, I'm a talent scout from London, I could get Mr Vargas a lot work...I'm sure the royal family would love him."

The man's eyes widened as he said this, the Brit's accent was all the convincing he needed, "Oh wow! Well I'm Feli's manager so everything he does needs to run by me first, if you all give me your contact details we could arrange a meeting, get some contracts signed-"

"Just a second there buddy." the American said, throwing an arm around his shoulders, "We'd kinda like it if we could talk to the guy first, you know...see if he's got the right stuff before we offer him this once in a life time deal."

"Oh of course, but I assure you that Feliciano Vargas is not only the next big singer, but he's charismatic, charming, good looking-"

"Yeah yeah thanks..." the American said rolling his eyes, pushing him to one side, "We'll talk to him alone if that's okay." he didn't wait for confirmation, as soon as the over excited man was out of the way America quickly ushered everyone into the Italian's dressing room, shutting the door behind them.

Italy looked up in confusion as his dressing room suddenly became very crowded, these strange looking men cramming into all the available space. The Italian sighed softly, he'd heard them talking to his manager in the corridor, and he knew why they were here to see him.

"Hey dude!" America piped up, pulling up a chair opposite the Italian who was sat in front of a mirror at his dressing table, the American settled down in the seat with a big grin on his face.

Italy spun around on his chair to face the American, "...ciao...you're the man from Hollywood...aren't you?"

America laughed slightly, rubbing the back of his head, "Uhh...well not exactly."

"Ve?" Italy tilted his head to the side curiously.

England smiled kindly, leaning back against the door, "We just needed to talk to you."

Italy furrowed his brows together in confusion, slowly looking around at them all, "...why? Who are you all?"

"I'm Arthur."

France winked, jumping up onto the Italian's dressing table, "Francis."

Japan bowed his head, "Kiku."

"Yao."

Germany pushed past the American, stepping over to the sweet Italian boy so he could hold out his hand to him, "I'm Ludwig..." he said softly, other hand still held behind his back.

Italy gazed up at the blond, biting his lip slightly, "Ciao...I'm Feliciano." he said, taking the German's hand.

America raised an eyebrow, clearing his throat slightly he gently pushed the German to one side so he could see Italy again, "So yeah, there is a reason we came to see you dude..." the American once again found himself attempting to convince a human of the ridiculous notion that he was from an entirely different universe where he was a country and he was immortal and that his whole life was just the result of the American wishing out loud for something that he thought he wanted to come true. America had to repeat himself several times as the Italian kept getting distracted by Germany, and he still hadn't let go of his hand.

Eventually what America was saying became clear in Italy's mind, the blinked slowly, gently releasing the German, "...wow, that's sure is a funny story." he said, smiling at the American.

America sighed in exasperation, it was no fun being shot down so many times, "Dude it's not a story, it's true! We came all the way here to see you and ask you to come with us."

Italy stared at him in shock, a cheerful grin slowly fixing itself to the Italian's face, "Really...you came all the way here just for me?" he asked quietly, addressing the German still stood in front of him more than anyone else.

Germany nodded, smiling softly down at him, "Ja...we did..."

Italy bit his lip, digging his toe into the carpet as he beamed up at the blond, "...so...if I'm Italy then...you must be Germany?" he asked, recognising the blonds' accent.

Germany gave a slight nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, "Ja, I guess..." he muttered softly, the hand behind his back still gripping the rose, fingering it nervously, "I uhh...I just wanted to say that...urm..." he slowly drew the rose from behind his back, holding it out to the Italian, "...well we heard you sing on stage before und...I...I thought you sounded incredible..." he mumbled shyly, face slowly going red.

Italy slowly took the rose, breathing in its sweet scent, going slightly pink himself, "Grazie...

Germany smiled, heart tugging strangely in his chest, "I could understand you not wanting to come with us, you're..." he shook his head in disbelief, "...so talented it would be insane to want to leave."

"Germany dude!" America blurted out, staring at him, "Shut up!"

Italy smiled softly at the compliment but shook his head sadly, "...no, that's not really true..."

Japan tilted his head to the side curiously, "Why is that? Mr Ludwig is correct; you seem to have a bright future in this industry."

Italy shrugged slightly, playing with the rose in his hands, "Sì...my manager thinks I could become really famous." he muttered softly.

"Iz zat a good thing?" France asked, lying down on the Italian's dresser, propping his head up on his elbow, "I would love to be a world famous dancer..."

Italy bit his lip, shaking his head, "...I don't want to be famous."

England looked at him in surprise, fuzzy eyebrows knitted together, "Well...what do you want?"

Italy shrugged slightly, looking up at them with his big amber eyes, "...I just want to be normal." he said quietly, slightly wary that his manager may be listening just outside the door.

"But Italy you're better than normal!" America insisted, scooting his chair closer to the Italian, well as close as he possibly could with the German obstructing his way, "You're your entire country as one single guy!"

Germany pushed America away again, holding out his hand to the Italian, "...think of it as being...special." he added softly.

Italy gazed up at the German, slowly taking his hand, "Special?"

America glanced around at the rest of the guys, smirking slightly as his little plan about Germany had definitely worked...and he had another one up his sleeve, "Hey uhh you know Italy...back in our universe, you and Germany are really good friends."

Italy dragged his eyes away from the German's, yet still clung onto his hand, "Really?" he asked excitedly, grinning at the American.

Japan nodded, "Hai, I had heard that too."

America grinned at them, "Yeah you guys are seriously close, you practically live together! And if you came with us you'd get to spend a lot of time together..."

"Ve..." Italy hummed happily, swinging the German's arm back and forth, "...is that true Germany?"

Germany blushed slightly, smiling nervously, "Uhh ja...I suppose if you came with us to complete our mission ja...we would."

"When would we leave?" Italy asked excitedly.

"Right now if you want dude." America said, getting to his feet, "We got our car parked outside ready to go."

"Oh...right now?" the Italian said slowly, gently letting go of Germany's hand, "...I have a few more songs to do, I don't think my manager would like it if I just left."

"Screw him dude, you don't need his permission to leave you can do whatever the hell you want."

"Well...I wouldn't go that far." England said, holding up his hands, "...but I'm sure he'll respect your decision to leave."

Italy shook his head, suddenly looking quite nervous, the same as he did on stage, "No he won't! He'll be angry..."

"Don't worry dude." America said, smiling determinately, "Just follow us okay? I'll deal with that guy, I can speak American."

England slapped his forehead, "Alfred..."

America bounded over to the dressing room door, "Yeah?"

"You don't speak-...oh never mind." England muttered, following the American back out into the corridor, closely followed by everyone else.

America quickly checked left and right, but the corridors were vacant of any people, "Okay the coast is clear, stick close to us Italy okay?" Italy looked unsure but nodded, keeping close to the German's side as he was hurried off down the corridor towards the backstage door. No stage hands had spotted them, no performers were in the corridor, his manager nowhere in sight, they were so close, almost in the clear-

"Hey Feli!" America cringed slightly as he heard his American friend sound somewhere behind them; he spun around to see him jogging over to them, looking confused and slightly irritated, "Where are you going? You've got four sets to do yet!" he said, grabbing Italy by the wrist before addressing America, "Look I'm sorry buddy I don't care if you are from Hollywood, if you want to take Feliciano out to a bar or whatever you're gonna have to wait till after the show okay?"

America sighed, "Dude I'm gonna level with ya, I aint really a big Hollywood director guy okay? I'm just here for Feliciano."

Italy's manager stared at him, "What? Are you insane? Feli you don't want to go with these guys do you?"

Italy bit his lip, glancing back at the guys unsurely, but one look at the German's smiling face was all the reassurance he needed, "Sì, I'm sorry Simon, but my future is with them."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing! This is fucking ridiculous!" Simon snapped, grabbing Italy's wrist harshly.

America glared at him, "Hey dude let go of him."

"Shut up creep! You're not taking Feli! He signed a contract, he's mine!" he growled, attempting to drag the Italian towards him as he planted his feet hard in the ground.

"Excuse me but you can't just claim ownership of a human being." England said irritably, grabbing onto Italy's other arm.

Simon glared at the Brit, "I can if he's signed a contract! And let me guess, you're not a talent scout are you?"

"Well...no, but that doesn't-"

"So who are you then? All of you? You're all just freaks! What did you do to Feli? Did you brainwash him or something?"

Italy tried desperately to pull away from his manager, trying to prize his fingers off from around his wrist, "Simon stop! I want to go with them!"

"Why? Why are you throwing away your future Feli?" Simon demanded, yanking the Italian back towards him.

America grabbed Italy's other arm along with England, tugging him back towards them, "You're trying to force him into a future he doesn't want!"

"Back off asshole you don't know what you're talking about!" he snapped, taking a rough grasp of the Italian's shirt, dragging him back towards him, "Feliciano is mine do you hear me? I put a shit load of work into getting him these gigs and getting us to where we are now, so don't think a bunch of foreigners can just waltz in here, brainwash him and try to run off with him! Feli is staying do you hear me? And nothing you guys say will change my mind! Do you hear me? Now get out of here before-"

The Italian's manager was suddenly silenced as the German's fist came smashing hard into his face, knocking him unconscious to the floor with one blow. Germany winced slightly, flexing his sore knuckles, "Sorry...but that man is an Arschloch."

Italy could only stare in complete shock, he slowly turned around to face the German, grinning slightly at him, "...my hero." he said, giggling slightly, jumping up onto his tip toes he pressed a soft kiss to the blonds' cheek.

Germany smirked slightly despite his face going slightly red; he bent down and scooped the Italian up into his arms, "Right...shall we get going then?"

France smirked slightly, holding open the backstage door for them, "Funny how the socially awkward German can get a man so easily..." he muttered softly, following them outside onto the street, the convertible sat happily just outside the theatre.

America beamed, hopping into the front seat, "That was awesome Germany dude!"

"Yes...not that I can say I approve of the violence." England muttered, getting into the back seat.

"I think we've run out of room in the car." Japan commented as he climbed into the back with France, China getting back into the front with America.

America glanced behind him, smirking slightly as he just saw the back of the German disappearing into the caravan, Italy still in his arms, "That's okay dude, plenty of room back there." he said, laughing slightly as he began fiddling with the device, "Okay...last stop, Russia...uhh..." he looked into the back seat for help, "...capital anyone?"

England sighed, "God sake Alfred..."

**~0~**

America yawned tiredly, leaning back against the wall of the caravan, lightly bobbing up and down on the squishy water bed as everyone settled down for the night, France's bright pink fairy lights casting a strikingly pink glow about the room. They'd arrived in Moscow, the car and caravan pulled up in a supermarket car park out of sight, it was much later into the night than it had been back in Rome, and it had been many hours since any of the guys had got any sleep. At one end of the bed China was already fast asleep, having been working for about fourteen hours straight and then thrust into this wild adventure he was absolutely exhausted. Japan settled down beside him, making sure to keep some space between them. France was at the opposite end of the bed, lying on his side he gave the Brit a provocative wink. England shuddered, clinging to the very edge of the bed, as far as it was physically possible to be away from France.

Italy was sat on the edge of the bed, bouncing up and down on his bottom, swinging his legs back and forth happily, "Ve...this is so exciting!"

Germany smirked slightly, pulling back the tiger skin covers on the bed, "It's all a little crazy really..." he muttered softly, kicking off his shoes and climbing into bed, "...I guess all this is a world away from what you're used to." he indicated to the filthy, cramped caravan, "I mean you're probably used to staying in really fancy hotels all the time ja?"

Italy shrugged slightly, playing with the corner of the covers, "Kinda...doesn't really matter about the place though, just the people you're with." he said, smiling sweetly, leaning back against the German's chest, gently trailing his fingers along the blonds' muscular arms.

Germany blushed slightly at the contact, gently placing an arm around Italy's waist, "I guess...you really have a bright outlook on life..."

"Ve..." Italy hummed softly, yawning tiredly, gently playing with the German's tank top, "...the world is pretty when you view it with the light."

America smiled slightly, watching Italy and Germany flirt from the other end on the bed, he hadn't expected them to get along quite as well as they were but at least the German had stopped being an ass. Eventually the dawn of sleep was becoming too much for everyone, France reached up and turned out the pink, heart shaped lights, leaving them in complete darkness. Italy and Germany lay down to go to sleep along with everyone else, the happy little Italian curled up in the German's arms.

But America couldn't sleep, he was tired sure, but something else was stopping him...very slowly, and as carefully as possible not to shake the delicate water bed, the American edged his way to the other side and climbed off, wincing slightly as each of his footsteps made the caravan shudder. He slowly crept over to the narrow door, delicately pushing it open before he hopped outside, softly closing it shut behind him.

America shivered, wrapping his arms around himself as a cold breeze swept past him. He blinked slowly, he couldn't really see anything in the pitch black, an unusual lack of street lamps in this area, but he could just make out the towering historical buildings encasing them in the large city.

America closed his eyes, trying to use this magic ability he'd been granted to find people, he was so close...just one more city to search...one more person to find...he just needed it to work now...

"Alfred?" the American's eyes flew open and he spun around to see England stood just in the entrance of the caravan, slowly stepping down onto the ground, softly shutting the door, "What are you doing out here?" he said quietly, shivering slightly.

"I can't sleep...I was gonna go and see if I can find Russia anywhere."

England stared at him, "Alfred it's the middle of the night! No normal man would be out wondering the streets this late."

America laughed slightly, "Trust me, Russia aint normal."

England smirked, wrapping his arms around himself to keep warm, "Even still, you should try to get some sleep, wait until morning and then we can all go and look together."

America sighed slightly, "Dude you don't understand, we're so close! I mean just this one guy and then everything can go back to normal."

"Alfred...I've been meaning to ask, there are hundreds of countries in the world, why are their only going to be eight of us?"

"Well..." America shrugged slightly, "You guys are the ones I know best so..." he shook his head, getting off track, "Point is dude, if we find Russia as soon as possible this whole thing can be over." the American said, rotating on the spot to get a good look around, the streets were completely vacant, "So I'm gonna go have a scout around, even if I don't find him I could at least find some clues or something."

England sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly, "Well alright if you must, but I'm coming with you, you'll probably get lost or kidnapped if I'm not there to look after you." he muttered, following the American out of the supermarket car park onto the darkened streets, "...but only for about half an hour okay? Then we go back and get to bed."

"Deal." America said with a grin, he and the Brit crossing an empty road to the other side of the pavement, keeping close together as they walked side by side down the long breezy streets of Moscow. England shivered, still hugging himself close as they walked, not wearing his jacket he only had his short sleeved white shirt to keep him warm. America was still a little cold even with his bomber jacket, the Russian city was a pretty disappointing change from all the lovely, warm, sunny countries they'd visited over the last couple of days.

The two nations continued to walk in silence for a few minutes, the American occasionally stopping to attempt to read something posted up on passing buildings but to no avail, it was all in Russian and unlike Rome there were no English translations...although that could have been expected. America sighed softly, it didn't look like they'd find anything tonight, the magic force had clearly turned itself off and retired for the evening. He glanced next to him at the Brit, grinning slightly, feeling a slight tremor of nerves as he thought about whether or not he would dare mention to the blond what he'd wanted to say to him all day, "Hey...England."

England glanced up as they walked, gently brushing his messy fringe out of his eyes, "...yes?"

America bit his lip, slipping an arm around the Brit's waist, stopping him in his tracks, "I uhhh...I think we have some unfinished business to take care of from China's house..."

A blush slowly crept up to England's cheeks, he swallowed slightly, taking hold of the hand now gripping his waist, "...we do?" he asked softly, voice croaking slightly in the tense silence.

"Yeah..." America breathed softly, his other hand moving to gently cup the Brit's chin in his hand, leaning down towards him like he'd done back in Beijing, only now they were all alone, no one was there to stop them...

"Wait." England slapped a hand over the American's mouth just before their lips touched, he smirked slightly at the way the blonds' eyes widened behind his specs, "Not here..." England muttered, glancing around quickly he tugged the American into the nearest alleyway, they became shadowed by the two buildings, now in complete blackness, and America wasted no time in pushing the Brit up against the brick wall beside a congregation of trash cans, pressing their bodies together.

In an instant the American's hands found the hem of England's shirt, hastily pushing their way up past the fabric, fingers dancing about the warm skin of his chest as his lips descended on the Brit's neck. England held back a slight moan, hands threading into America's hair as his throat was showered with chaste kisses and soft bites. Any chills England had had from the cold had been suddenly replaced by rushes of intense heat all throughout his body...and pooling into one place in particular.

"Alfred..." England murmured softly, with one hand still threaded into the American's hair he lowered his other down to the man's rear, grasping it firmly he pushed his hips up into America's own, pressing their groins together. America grunted softly, hands still thrust up the Brit's shirt he began driving his hips into England's, teeth grazing the sensitive skin of his neck. England bit his lip, breathing becoming ragged, matching America's erratic thrusting for a few moments before he gently tugged on the blonds' hair, lifting his head up to look at him.

"...hmm? You okay?" America whispered, gently tugging his hands out from under the Brit's shirt, trailing his fingers gently down his cheek.

"Yeah it's just..." England placed his hands against America's chest, gently tugging at his jacket, "...oh God Alfred what are we doing?" he asked, gazing up at him in the darkness, only just being able to make out the outline of him, even at this extreme closeness.

"I don't know..." America breathed, leaning down to place a soft kiss against his forehead, "But it feels..." another against his cheek, "...right you know?"

"Are countries even allowed to be together like this?" England whispered, shivers going down his spine with each light kiss, hands tightening around America's jacket.

America stopped, gently pushing his fingers into the Brit's hair, "...does it even matter?"

England breathed in sharply, leaning up slightly, bringing their faces closer together, "...Alfred...we should really talk about this before anything happens..." he murmured, nose lightly brushing against the American's own.

America shook his head, pressing their bodies together, "...just shut up and kiss me."

The American leant in, ready to close the final gap between them, take that final step they should have done back in Beijing...before he even had the chance to taste heaven America found himself being thrown onto the hard, cold ground behind the trash cans, the Brit throwing himself on top of him, straddling his lap. America looked up in surprise, "Whoa...dude at least buy me dinner first-"

"SHHHH!" England hissed furiously, slapping a hand over the American's mouth, "...I think I hear someone..." he said, voice barely an audible whisper, staring around the dark, deserted alleyway, straining his ears to hear.

"I don't hear anything..." America whispered, voice muffled against England's hand, slowly sitting up with the Brit in his lap, looking down the alleyway to where England was staring, squinting his eyes in an attempt to see through the intense blackness.

"I'm sure I heard-"

"Chto ty delaeshʹ?" the end of the alleyway was suddenly lit up with a dim light as one of the backdoors on building they had been leaning against was forcibly pushed open, two Russian men falling out into the alleyway, merely metres from the trashcans the two men were hiding behind.

"Ivan, we need to talk about tomorrow night." one of the men said, half shutting the door they'd just exited from to make sure they couldn't be heard.

Russia blinked in confusion, "Why are you speaking English?"

"Oh my God..." America breathed, staring in complete shock from where he still lay on the ground, "Dude that's Russia!"

"Is it?" England whispered softly, gazing across at the tall grey haired Russian, ducking down slightly behind the trashcans as the rays of light emitting from the doorway were in close proximity of them, and these Russians didn't look the friendly type.

"Because our enemies may have spies here and I know their English is no good." the other Russian man said, glancing back behind him cautiously for a few moments before turning back to Russia, looking at him seriously, "Now listen, tomorrow night at Helga's birthday ball you are to come clean and tell her the truth."

Russia stared at him, "What? Why now?" he asked in complete shock, "There has not been enough time!"

"She is convinced that you're her uncle, she trusts you now, you need to tell her the truth about Pavlya."

Russia shook his head, "On her birthday."

The other man sighed, holding open his jacket he reached into the inside pocket, "We have no more time, they are to be married next week."

Russia faltered slightly, purple eyes widening, "...next week?"

The man nodded, "Da, so tomorrow night you need to come clean, if you succeed the marriage shall not go ahead and our mission will be completed." he said, pulling out a white envelope from his pocket, holding it out to Russia, "Here is your invitation, the ball is to be held at the Kuskovo Estate, starting at seven PM."

Russia nodded, taking the envelope from the man, pocketing it, "I will be there." he said determinately.

The man nodded, holding open the door for them, "Good luck Ivan, you better not let us down."

"I would never fail a mission." Russia said firmly, he and his accomplice disappearing into the building they'd just come from, shutting the door behind them, leaving the alleyway in complete darkness once more.

England slowly got to his feet, climbing off the American, "What just happened here?"

"No idea." America said, jumping up, "But I think my magic's working again."

"...what do we do now?"

America glanced back at the door, biting his lip in thought, "What was the name of that place they were talking about?"

England thought back for a moment, "Kuskovo Estate...any idea?"

"No." America said, stepping out from behind the trashcans, he and the Brit making their way back onto the street, "But we better find out."

England looked at him in confusion as he followed, "Why?"

America grinned, throwing an arm around the Brit's shoulders, "Cause we're gonna go crash a birthday party!"

* * *

><p><strong>Wow this took forever XD Try reading Italy's song whilst listening to it :) It's called 'Voce nel vento' and it's sung by Daniele Battaglia, type it in on youtube, it's such a beautiful song ^^ and for some reason I can imagine Italy singing this, even though it sounds nothing like him XD<strong>

**Italy's song: **

**I stand alone inside of me**  
><strong>I lock my soul<strong>  
><strong>and the time will fade me<strong>  
><strong>leaving me like this.<strong>  
><strong>There's a weak silence<strong>  
><strong>sign of existance but I'll let out my scream<strong>  
><strong>and like a storm, I'll switch on a shake.<strong>  
><strong>You'll be a voice in the wind,<strong>  
><strong>note of a song, and you'll come back,<strong>  
><strong>waking up my pain.<strong>  
><strong>I stand alone inside of me,<strong>  
><strong>I punch my soul,<strong>  
><strong>the memories will betray me,<strong>  
><strong>surrending also to me.<strong>  
><strong>This anger is weak<strong>  
><strong>against your masks,<strong>  
><strong>the truth is so hard<strong>  
><strong>that will reach me like a surrender.<strong>  
><strong>You'll be a voice in the wind,<strong>  
><strong>note of a song, and you'll come back,<strong>  
><strong>waking up my pain.<strong>  
><strong>A voice in the wind you will stay, a black regret, and you will overwhelm me,<strong>  
><strong>you will stop my time.<strong>  
><strong>And I see you like you are, you feel like an alibi<strong>  
><strong>I'll untie you from my wrists to defend myself...<strong>  
><strong>you'll be a voice in the wind...<strong>  
><strong>A voice in the wind you will stay, a black regret, and you will overwhelm me,<strong>  
><strong>you will stop my time.<strong>  
><strong>You stand alone inside of me<strong>  
><strong>you bite my soul<strong>  
><strong>and a breath will catch you<strong>  
><strong>and in that silence, the absence will talk about you,<strong>  
><strong>you never go away.<strong>

**Chto ty delaeshʹ - What are you doing?**

**Reviews are love :)**


	8. Crash The Party

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"So..." the German said slowly, holding up a black blazer, "...we're going to a party now?"<p>

America smiled, shuffling through a rack of ties, "Yep!"

"I love parties! Ludwig you should wear this shirt." Italy said happily, holding out a light pink dress shirt on a hanger.

Germany looked at it, quirking an eyebrow, "...it's pink."

Italy beamed, holding it up against the German's chest, "Real men wear pink..." he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

The German blushed slightly, taking the shirt from the Italian, "Alright Ita-...Feliciano, I'll wear it, for you." he said, smiling slightly.

France smirked, searching around a stack of suit pants for the tightest pair he could find, "Ohh Ludwig you really are whipped."

Germany glared at him, going an even deeper shade of red. Beside him Japan was having trouble finding a suit in the tailors that was in his size, "...I cannot seem to find trousers the same length as my legs..." he said, sighing slightly, holding up the smallest pair yet they were still a good few inches taller than his little legs.

"Russian men tend to be quite tall fellows." England agreed, selecting a dark grey blazer and a dark green dress shirt, "Alfred do we really have to buy band new suits for this ordeal?"

"Well duh, you heard what that guy said, it's a birthday ball, you gotta dress fancy for a ball right?" American said, pulling out a red tie.

England sighed, looking at the price tags, "I suppose so..." he muttered, glancing up he caught the American's eyes but amazingly neither of them blushed, despite what had occurred last night. Although that being said, nothing had actually really happened; after finding Russia in the alleyway they'd both headed back to the caravan in silence and gone to bed, deciding it would be best not to continue with what they'd been doing...for now at least.

"Where exactly are we going?" China asked, nose wrinkling slightly as he held up a black jacket, shaking his head, "What is with the lack of colour in all of this clothing?"

"Ja, und how exactly are we even going to find this place?" Germany asked, lifting Italy up by the waist he helped him to grab a shirt he'd seen on one of the top racks.

"I have the directions; I got them on my smart phone." Japan said, holding out the device.

America glanced at the screen, the little arrow showing exactly where it was, "It's only about an hour away, we can easily drive over."

"How do you know it iz zere?" France asked, taking the device he scrolled through some photos that came up of the venue in question, "Oh mon dieu...'ave you seen what zis place looks like?"

America glanced over his shoulder, "Kuskovo Estate, yeah...it looks pretty ritzy."

England shook his head, taking the device he scrolled through all the images that came up of the gorgeous, absolute palace of a building. The Estate appeared to made up of many different buildings, and they could only guess that the ball would be held in the largest of them all; a beautiful mansion with white stone columns, the Brit sighed, "Alfred there's no way we're getting into this place...it looks about as exclusive as the garden of Eden." he said, handing the Asian back his phone.

"Well that's why we gotta get the right threads." America said certainly, grinning when he saw a rail of bow ties, "Aw dude! What do you reckon? Bow tie or normal tie?" he asked, holding up a red one of each to the Brit.

England couldn't help but smirk slightly, "Bow tie...but Alfred seriously." he took the garments from the American's hands, "We can't just waltz into this place, that Russia man was given an invitation, how are we supposed to get in?"

America sighed, "Dude you worry way too much, it'll be fine I promise you; there'll be loads of people going to this ball, the place is huge! No ones gonna notice us sneaking in." he said reassuringly, taking the red bow tie back from him, "It'll be fine dude, my magic force won't let us down!"

England rolled his eyes fondly, "I hope so, over wise we are well and truly screwed-"

"Ta da!" they all looked up as the sweet Italian drew back the curtains and emerged from one of the dressing rooms, donning a black tie suit with a dark blue dress shirt and black and blue striped tie; Italy skipped out back into the shop, beaming up at them all.

"See guys Italy's got the right idea." America said, smirking slightly at the way the German's face tinged pink when the Italian bound over to him and clung onto his arm.

"You like it Luddy?" Italy asked hopefully bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet as he squeezed the blonds' forearm.

Germany smiled slightly, gently ruffling his hair, "Ja...you look great Feli." he muttered softly, blush refusing to die down.

"Ve..." Italy beamed, releasing his arm he clung onto his hand instead, "I can't wait for the party! It'll be so much fun!"

America smiled slightly, shuffling through a rack of suit jackets. He hadn't actually considered this; he'd been so focused on just finding Russia and completing their mission that he'd completely disregarded the fact that they could have a good time, after all, they were attending a ball. "Yeah..." America said, holding up a dark brown jacket, "You know this could actually be a lot of fun..."

**~0~**

At seven PM on the dot the guys were slowly driving up towards the toweringly high metal railings of the Kuskovo Estate, convertible wheels crunching on the gravel as they slowly crawled down the driveway up to the venue. Well, less of a driveway more another long road; a row of tall skinny trees paraded either side of them as they took the long daunting drive up to the Estate. They had guessed correctly that the ball was being held in the main building, a beautiful red brick palace with tall stain glass windows and a set of white stone steps leading up to the columns outside the main entrance. A large tower of pink and purple balloons formed an archway just outside the double doors...which were being carefully monitored by a tall, muscular guard.

"Damnit..." America muttered softly as the German pulled up on a patch of grass away from the venue.

"Oh great." China said, sighing when he saw the guard check a couple's invitation as they went up the steps to the entrance, "We need an invitation to get in."

"I told you Alfred." England said, leaning back he tried to see round the other side of the building for another entrance, but to no avail. Everything had been fenced off and there were several more guards paraded around the outside, ready to jump and evict any people who dare attempt to gate crash.

"We're not going to the party?" Italy asked, frowning, playing with the cuffs on his new black suit.

"Nein we're going." Germany said determinedly, fixing the collar on his pink dress shirt Italy had picked out for him, "Even if we have to fight our way in."

"We're not fighting our way in." England said sternly, giving the German a look, "...but maybe we could bribe the guard with something."

France's eyes lit up, "Looks like zis iz my chance to shine." he hopped out of the convertible, fluffing his blond locks and tweaking his white leather jacket before skipping off towards the Estate without another word to the others.

"Oh God what the bloody hell is he doing now?" England asked in bewilderment, climbing out after him, "Should we follow?"

"Well we aint gonna get in sitting here." America said, following the Brit's lead he and the rest of the guys climbed out, cautiously, yet attempting to look as casual as possible as they did so, followed the flamboyant Frenchman up the stone steps to the main entrance of the palace.

Japan shifted about nervously, hiding slightly behind Germany as the guard looked them over from behind his black shades, glancing down at the guest list before looking up, "Da?"

France beamed, bounding up to the tall Russian, standing confidently with one hand on his hip, "Francis Bonnefoy." he said, giving the man a wink.

The guard briefly regarded his clipboard before looking up, one eyebrow rose behind his shades, "You're not on the list."

"France are you seriously so stupid that you thought that would work?" England hissed from beside him, trying to avoid the Russian's menacing glare.

France glanced at the Brit, smirking slightly, "Zat iz not ze only trick I 'ave up my sleeve..." he muttered, snaking his way closer to the guard, practically leaning into him, "Monsieur, I 'ave a proposition for you..." the blond drawled, jumping up onto his tiptoes he began whispering into the Russian's ear, slyly removing the clipboard from his fingers as he did so.

"What's he doing?" Germany muttered softly, eyes narrowed suspiciously, straining in an attempt to hear what France was saying.

"So what do you say?" France mumbled seductively, pulling away from the man, pushing the clipboard into America's hand. The man raised an eyebrow but smirked, grabbing France by the wrist he lead him around the back of the building and out of sight.

"...what on earth is he doing?" China asked in bewilderment.

America grinned, glancing down at the clipboard, "He just gave us our ticket in." he said, grabbing the pen attached he quickly scrawled all of their names down before shoving the list into England's hands, holding open the door for them all, "Alright let's get inside, England you wait here for France okay?"

"Oh what!" the Brit protested as America herded everyone into the Estate, leaving England in charge of security.

"Alright guys..." America muttered softly as they followed the crowd down a dimly lit corridor towards another set of double doors, "Just act natural okay? Like we're supposed to be here..."

"I have a bad feeling about this..." Japan said warily, still sticking close to the German when they'd finally reached the grand hall where the birthday ball was taking place.

The hall was large enough to fit several houses into the vast space; the beautiful intricate gold and red designs of the wallpaper were hidden behind bucket loads of girly decorations; towers of pink and purple balloons; roses and glitter; a giant sparkly birthday banner and a huge mirrored disco ball decorating the dance floor with bright spots of light.

"Dude what is this? A chick's sweet sixteenth?" America asked, shaking his head, yet couldn't help but admire the large pink birthday cake, shaped like the Kuskovo Estate itself and showered in edible purple glitter.

"I like it, I think it's pretty!" Italy said happily, twirling around a few times to get a proper look round, gazing up at the glass dome ceiling, "It's all sparkly."

Germany smirked slightly, following the Italian to the edge of the dance floor, where many people were already holding each other close as they slow danced, "She must be a sophisticated sixteen year old if she is, what with the old fashioned music and dancing." he said, noting the orchestra band on stage at one end of the hall, playing soft classical music in their suits and ball gowns.

"Ve...I love this kind of dancing." Italy said happily, feet twitching slightly as if wanting to join in.

America smiled, noticing the Italian's eagerness; he shrugged slightly, "Dude go for it, we gotta fit in after all."

"Really? Yay!" the Italian cheered, turning to the German, "Ludwig! Dance with me?" he asked, clinging to the blonds' hand, swinging it back and forth.

Germany blushed slightly, clearing his throat, "Urm...really?"

"Sì! Please..." Italy begged, tugging the German towards the dance floor, looking up at him with those big pleading eyes.

Germany swallowed slightly, nodding, "Okay..." he muttered softly, allowing the Italian to pull him close; Germany's heart rate increasing threefold as their bodies pressed together. The blond swallowed again, gently taking Italy's hand in his own, his other wrapping around Italy's waist as the Italian placed his on the German's shoulder. Italy beamed up at him, leaning in close as they gently twirled round on the dance floor together, getting lost amongst the other guests, slow dancing cheek to cheek.

America glanced around the dance floor at all the girl-boy couples, quirking an eyebrow, "Uhh...that may not be the best way to fit in but...meh, whatever floats their boat."

"It's amazing how close they are after such a short amount of time." China commented, watching them from a distance.

"Yeah dude, but knowing those two it's no surprise, they've always been close."

"As lovers?" Japan asked.

America shook his head, "No, I wasn't really expecting that to come about actually; I always thought they were just friends."

"Being reintroduced to each other under different circumstances must have triggered their hidden feelings towards one another." Japan suggested, looking down at himself as his stomach gave a loud growl.

America raised an eyebrow at the noise, "You hungry dude?"

Japan nodded, looking away in slight embarrassment, "Hai, I have not eaten since we were back in Mr Wang's restaurant."

"Me either." America agreed, glancing back over at the pink cake he saw the rest of the table decorated with bowls and plates of snacks, "Let's go help ourselves to the free grub." he said; the three of them left Germany and Italy in each other's embrace as they went to get a bite to eat. America piled his plate high with snacks, before he, Japan and China stood in the background, munching on food as they watched the party play out in front of them. The American kept an eye out for Russia but he had yet to make a show...or maybe he was in disguise.

China eventually placed his empty plate down on the table, looking around curiously, "...Alfred."

"Yeah?"

"Where have Arthur and Francis got to?"

**~0~**

England sighed irritably, tightening his jacket around himself as he stood waiting for France to finish whatever the hell it was he was doing. He placed the clipboard to one side; there had been no more arrivals for the last ten minutes or so and could only assume all the guests were here. It had been pretty awkward pretending to be the usher for the party, especially since he couldn't speak Russian and all the guests kept addressing him in it. One guest in particular had gotten into an argument with him when the Brit failed to locate his name on the guest list, not being able to understand his accent or the way he pronounced his strange name. England shivered slightly, foot tapping impatiently on the ground, "God sake Francis, where the hell are you?"

"I'm right 'ere mon cher, did you miss me?" France drawled softly, suddenly appearing from behind the wall of the Estate; the guard nowhere in sight.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" England demanded, glaring at the blond, "...and what happened to you?" he asked, raising a busy eyebrow at the Frenchman's dishevelled hair, shirt buttons done up in the wrong holes and white jacket hanging crookedly off his shoulders.

France smirked slightly, "Never you mind, I got you in did I not?"

"Yes, but how did you manage it? Where's that body guard?"

France shrugged slightly, "Sleeping I suspect."

"Sleeping? What on earth did you do to him?" England asked in bewilderment.

France slowly raised one eyebrow, smirking devilishly, wiping something off the corner of his mouth, "...what do you think?"

England stared at him in complete shock and horror, shuddering slightly, "...that...is disgusting."

"Just doing what I do best." France said with a shrug, holding out his arm, "Shall we?" The Frenchman didn't wait for a response; he forcibly linked arms with the Brit, yanking him through the doors of the main entrance, down the corridor towards the grand hall, "Oooh..." France glanced around at the sparkly decor in awe, "...shall we dance mon cher?" he asked, pulling the Brit close he tugged him towards the dance floor.

"Huh? Wait what!" England protested, not able to pull himself away in time as he and France disappeared into the large crowd of dancing couples.

"Are you having fun Ludwig?" Italy asked softly, resting his cheek against the German's warm shoulder.

Germany shivered slightly as the Italian's hot breath cascaded across the sensitive skin of his neck, "Ja...sorry I'm not very good at dancing." he muttered just as he bumped into another dancing couple, mumbling a hurried apology.

Italy giggled slightly, releasing the German's hand he brought his other arm up around the blonds' neck, "It's okay...it's cute." he said simply, and before he even thought about what he was doing he jumped up and kissed the tip of the German's nose, turning both their faces a deep shade of red.

Germany stared at him slight shock, heart hammering in his chest as he gazed down at Italy's sweet face, "...danke, Feliciano..." he murmured softly, using his free hand he gently cupped the Italian's face, bringing their faces closer together, biting his lip slightly, "...could...could I kiss you?" he asked, voice barely a whisper; the German's face going an even darker shade of red.

Italy beamed, pulling the blond closer, "...God yes." the Italian gasped softly as the German's lips were suddenly against his own, hands bunched into the hair at the back of his neck. Italy mumbled softly in approval, kissing him back; there was something so exhilarating about kissing someone who was practically a stranger, yet he felt as if he'd known him his whole life.

"Aww look." China said, he, Japan and America watching the dancing from the edge of the dance floor once more; the Asian pointed to Germany and Italy kissing under the spinning lights of the disco ball.

"Dude...that's weird."

Japan looked up curiously, "How so?"

"I dunno...just weird to see two guys who are just friends like, kissing...you know?" America said, shaking his head slightly, although he had to admit it was rather sweet.

"Francis this is a ball not a night club stop grinding on me you arse!" America looked up as he heard the Brit yell from somewhere in the crowd.

"...looks like those two finally made it." he said, tweaking the cuffs of his jacket, "Hang on a minute you two, I gotta go rescue him." America disappeared into the crowd, carefully manoeuvring his way in and out of the dancing Russian couples and past the German and the Italian, who were still passionately tonguing each other on the dance floor, to find France and England; the Brit desperately trying to prize the blonds' arms off from around his waist.

"Mind if I cut in?" America asked with a slight smirk, grabbing hold of England's hand.

England looked up, face flooded with relief, "Oh God yes." he said, lunging himself into the man, clinging onto the American for dear life.

France pouted slightly, "I waz 'ere first; I'm ze only reason we were let in."

"Sorry dude but-" America stopped, arms gently letting go of the Brit as he'd just seen a familiar face over the tops of the crowd, disappearing into a door at the back of the hall, "Russia..." he breathed softly, "Uhh, hang on a sec England." he pushed the blond back into France's arms, "I gotta go do something, I'll be back okay?"

"What? Alfred! Don't leave me with him!" England called after the American in vain but was ignored as the blond disappeared back into crowds, leaving him in the perverted arms of the Frenchman.

America quickly darted into the room he'd just seen Russia disappear into, which appeared to be a living room; the American dived down behind a sofa as not to be seen, he had to think of a practical way to talk to Russia; it wasn't like with the other guys where he could just go up and say hi, he and Russia had never really seen eye to eye. The Russian was stood by the fireplace, foot tapping on the floor as he watched the door opposite to him; he cleared his throat when a young pretty girl emerged from it, smiling sweetly.

"Helga."

"Uncle Sergei!" Helga said happily, skipping over to him, "I'm so glad you're here, do you like my dress?" she asked, holding out her petticoat.

Russia placed a hand on her shoulder, "I need to talk to you."

"Oh?" Helga looked at him curiously, "Okay, well make it quick uncle I want to join the party! You'll dance with me right?"

"It's about Pavlya."

She stopped, blinking slowly, "...what about him?"

"...is it true you two are engaged to be married?" Russia asked slowly.

Helga nodded slowly, "Yes...in fact the invitations are in the gift bags to be given out at the end of the night...why what is it?"

Russia sighed, gently releasing her, "Helga, its time for me to be honest with you." he said, looking at her seriously, "I'm not your uncle."

Helga stared at him, "...what?"

Russia let out a shuddering sigh, "My name is Ivan Braginsky; I'm a spy for the FSB and I was ordered to get close to you and your family so I could deliver you this message in the hope that you would believe me."

She looked at him in utter confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"You can't marry Pavlya."

"...what?"

America slowly poked his head out from around the sofa, watching with interest. Russia sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders, "He is a dangerous man Helga, a wanted criminal in many countries...and the only reason he wants to marry you is because if he becomes part of your family he can't be prosecuted for his crimes."

"Uncle...what are you-"

"Ivan Braginsky!"

The Russian froze, slowly turning around to the source of the voice, eyes widening when he saw a familiar face watching them from the doorway, "...shit." Russia whipped back round, "Helga! Run! Get out of here; this is not going to be pretty."

"What? Uncle what are you talking about?" she called after him as her former uncle bolted from the room back into the grand hall. The man he was running from quickly whipped out a walkie talkie, speaking in Russian into the device, using Russia's name several times.

America hurriedly scrambled to his feet, following Russia back into the party but he couldn't see him anywhere through the crowds, every guest now on the dance floor, taking up most of the available space. The American cursed silently, shoving his way through the crowds in an attempt to locate the Russian. "Ivan? Ivan! Dude!" America yelled above the couples, ignoring the strange looks he was receiving from the crowd.

"Alfred what are you doing?" America spun around to face the Brit stood behind him, still with France clinging to his waist.

"Dude! Russia just came through here, have you seen him?"

"No I haven't, do you want me to help you look for-"

"There he is!" America yelled suddenly, shoving his way back the way he just came, spotting the tall Russian attempting to lose himself in the crowds, talking furiously into his mobile phone.

"They've found me! I'm aborting the mission!"

"Russia dude!" America lunged himself at the Russian suddenly from behind a dancing couple, grabbing hold of his arm, "You got a minute?"

"What?" Russia eyed up this annoying American, looking slightly irritated, "Let go of me before I hurt you." he growled, shoving the blond away.

America sighed, "Dude, I know we're not exactly the best of friends but I need to talk to you-"

"Get down!" the Russian suddenly barked, shoving America hard in the stomach he knocked him down to the floor; the American gasped out in pain, sitting up ready to demand an explanation when a thundering blast silenced the party.

The glass dome ceiling above their heads shattered, sending thousands of shards of glass showering down onto the dance floor. America lifted his jacket up to conceal his head; Germany pulled Italy protectively against him; Japan and China dived under a table and France tackled England to the floor. Yells and screams began radiating throughout the venue as the sharp shards of glass rained down over their heads; America craned his neck to see what the hell was going on.

A giant chopper was hovering in the now open ceiling, gusts of wind from the propellers blasting away the debris as it slowly lowered down. A rope ladder was then thrown down into the Estate, dangling just above their heads. In a flash Russia jumped up onto the table Japan and China were cowering under and leapt onto the ladder, clinging tightly to the ropes as the chopper slowly began to take off, taking Russia with it.

"Uncle Sergei!" Helga shrieked, staring up in complete shock as the helicopter disappeared from view, the strong gusts of wind threatening to blow her off her feet any second.

America struggled to stand up, yanking England up from the floor, "Dude! We gotta go after that chopper! Guys? Where is everyone?"

"We're here, was that the Russian?" Germany asked, rushing over to them, carrying Italy on his back.

"Yeah that's him, we gotta go after him! Where's Japan and China?"

"Go after the helicopter? That sounds scary..." Italy said, burying his head in the German's back.

"I won't let anything happen to you Feli, I promise." Germany said determinedly, squeezing the Italian's hands around his neck.

Japan slowly crawled out from under the table, carefully stepping over the shards of glass to join them, "What just happened?"

"God knows, but apparently we have to go chasing this crazy Russian now." England said, helping China up from under the table.

"Is everyone here?" America asked, spinning around on the spot, doing a quick head count, "...hang on, where the hell did France go?"

"Oh bloody hell he's wandered off again-EEP!" the Brit practically jumped out of his skin when the wall behind him suddenly came crashing down, the smashed up convertible ploughing straight through it into the hall, terrifying all the party goers.

"Anyone need a ride?" France said with a smirk, beeping the horn at them all.

"Jesus Christ you arsed you scared the life out of me!" England snapped, climbing into the front seat beside the blond.

America leapt into the back, leaning over the boot to unhook the caravan, as not to weigh them down, "For once in my life I'm actually pleased to see you France, now follow that chopper!"

Germany carefully climbed into the back, resting Italy on his lap, "You're seriously going to let him drive?"

Japan and China squashed up into the last remaining back seat whilst France started up the car again, "But of course, I 'appen to be an excellent driver." France said, putting the car in gear he slammed his foot on the gas pedal, speeding down the polished corridor of the Estate towards the front door.

"France what the hell are you doing!" England screamed, ducking down just as they ploughed through yet another wall, the car practically flying down the stone steps, jostling them madly in their seats.

"A short cut, now where are we going?"

"There!" America leant into the front of the car, pointing into the distance where they could clearly see the helicopter, flying relatively low in the sky; the rope ladder still dangling from it as Russia was slowly climbing up, "Just follow that chopper, wherever it lands that's where we'll find Russia."

England sighed, clutching his messy fringe, "Why do I get the feeling we're all going to be dead by the end of the night?"

"D-Dead?" Italy whimpered softly, curling up into the German's chest.

Germany hugged him close, rubbing his back soothingly, "Nothing bad will happen Feli; Arthur you ass stop frightening him!"

America tuned out the arguments as France drove them closer and closer to where they needed to be; the helicopter coming to a complete standstill, blades rotating slower as it was coming in to land. Slowly the convertible crawled closer to where they'd seen in land; on the outskirts of the city, besides a towering, rectangular, grey, almost office like building; the windows blackened and the car park empty.

France pulled up a good distance away, beside a clump of trees so as not to be spotted, and cut out the engine. England blinked slowly, staring up at what they could only assume were the Russian spies headquarters, "...well what now?"

America bit his lip, slowly climbing out of the car, "...I'll go."

"What, on your own?"

America nodded, "Yeah, it'll be too suspicious if we all go, these guys aint gonna be friendly, but if I find Russia and get him on his own then...well it might be alright."

"Are you sure about this?" Japan asked cautiously.

"Yeah...you guys stay here okay? If I'm not back in an hour come and find me." America said, giving them all a salute as he turned to leave.

"Alfred."

America glanced back over his shoulder at the Brit, "Yeah?"

England bit his lip, "...be careful."

America smiled, nodding, "I will, I'll be back guys, don't worry about me."

England nodded, but couldn't help the slight anxieties he was starting to feel as America jogged off towards the building and out of sight. Germany settled back in his seat, still gently rocking Italy on his lap, "...Arthur." the Brit looked up, "...he'll be okay."

England sighed softly, fingers drumming on top of the convertible door, "...I hope so..."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, sorry this took so long I've only recently got back from the States (just love being nicknamed Britain and having Americans watch me drink tea...which they practically forced me to drink, I didn't even want any XD)<strong>

**So yeah hope it was worth the wait :) reviews are love**

**Also, if you would be so kind could some of you please take a look at the poll on my profile and vote on what story I should write next? After I've finished this one and All This Time of course, thanks :D**


	9. In Soviet Russia

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else? **

* * *

><p>America winced, attempting to shift his body. For whatever reason his brain wouldn't send the correct signals to his arms and legs, telling him to move. He slowly twitched his head, eyes flickering open a fraction to get a look at where he was, attempting to remember what had happened to him. The American's eyes eventually opened, he blinked slowly a few times but couldn't take a guess at what had happened. He appeared to lying sprawled out on the hard, cold floor. His head pounding with the beginnings of a migraine and his body seemed to have gone into shut down mode.<p>

Flexing his fingers a miniscule amount; the feeling slowly started to come back into his body. America blinked slowly a few more times, coughing slightly to clear his throat, "Wha...huh, where...wha?" he choked out, raising a hand to clutch at his throbbing head.

"Alfred!" the American's ears pricked up in surprise, not expecting to hear a responding voice. Within moments someone was by his side, their hands gently cradling his own. America tilted his head, squinting up to see through the dim light. He quickly rubbed at his glasses to get a better view, and when he strained to see once more he could just make out the outline of the blond haired Brit by his side, who was staring down at him with concerned eyes. "My God are you okay?" England asked in panic, gently squeezing America's hands.

America attempted to lift his head but the pain throbbing through it faltered him. He rested back down on the hard ground, gazing back up at the Brit in befuddlement, "Huh...England?"

England smiled with relief, gently leaning over the American. "Yes, I'm here..." he said softly, gently stroking the back of his hand.

America blinked slowly, taking a few moments to process what was going on. "England..." he croaked softly, managing a tiny squeeze back.

"I was worried." England said; the Brit's eyes bright with concern only confirmed what he felt. "...are you okay, are you hurt?"

America nodded slightly, flexing all of his limbs in turn to make sure they all still worked, "...I...I think I'm okay..." he attempted to sit up but the pain still wracking through his head threw him off balance, "...head hurts a bit..." he muttered, resting back down.

England smiled sadly, resting back on his knees, "Come here." he said softly, gently manoeuvring the blonds' head to rest on his lap, "...is that better?" he asked, softly petting America's hair like he was stroking a cat.

"Oh 'ow sweet, would you mind being just a little more gay Arthur?" France's voice sneered from somewhere in the not too far off distance.

England turned around to glare at the Frenchman, cheeks going red, "Oh shut up frog."

America's forehead wrinkled with confusion at this new voice. "Huh? France is that...is that you?"

"Oui." came the slightly echoed reply.

America still looked utterly bewildered; he gently tugged on the Brit's sleeve, carefully attempting to pull himself up from off England's lap.

"England...what happened? Where are we?" he asked, his eyes flitting around the dim room he started to become aware that it wasn't just him, England and France who were here.

What was even more confusing, not to mention worrying, was the cold, rusty jail bars that had them all trapped. America managed to sit up, ignoring his headache as the confusion was now the only thing occupying his mind. He blinked slowly, trying to recall what had happened, what was going on..."What happened?" he tried again.

"We thought you would be the one to tell us." he heard the German growl from the other end of the jail cell. The blond was leant back against the opposite brick wall, a trembling Italian curled up against him.

America gently pulled away from England, scooting down closer to where all the guys were congregated, "What?"

"Do you not remember what happened to you Mr America?" Japan asked from where he was sat on his knees beside China.

America bit his lip in thought, threading a hand into the hair at the back of his neck, "Uhhh...not really, I was...aww man my head..." he groaned softly, clenching his eyes shut as a painful throb struck his mind." I was urm...I was looking around for Russia, in-in the spy base, I think, and uhh...I dunno...I think something hit me on the head, but it came out of nowhere...that's all I remember."

"They must have put you in here when they knocked you out." China said, not sounding the least bit concerned for America's safety.

"Yeah..." America nodded his agreement, his hazy mind starting to formulate an image of what might have happened. He could distinctly remember approaching the building; he'd tried to stay hidden as much as possible in the shadows as he searched for an entrance. The American had gone in through a back door that appeared to be unlocked, and it had taken him into a storage room full of boxes and rather scary looking blunt objects. He could remember leaving the room, but he wasn't sure where he went after that. America could only remember searching. Just darting down corridors, keeping low as he dodged in and out of the shadows...most of the lights in the building were out, which, whilst creepy looking, helped to mask him as he sought out the Russian.

He'd checked several rooms. The American could remember that much. He never dawdled long enough to get a good look however, just a quick peep to check for Russia then he'd be off again. Wait...there was something else. A face...and a pair of eyes that were suddenly locked onto his own. He could remember how he ran; the sheer terror running through him at the prospect of being seen, if only for a split second. That's when the objective changed from finding Russia to getting the hell out of there as fast as he could. America could remember pausing for breath, crouched down in the shadows...then pain. A swift, sudden sharp pain in the back of his head...and everything went black.

America nodded again. He knew what had happened now. He'd stupidly gotten himself caught in the Russian spy base whilst the guys sat safely and comfortably outside in the car...wait. In the car...?

"Hang on." America said suddenly, holding up his hands. Everyone looked at him curiously; the American was sat staring at them with his mouth gaping open in confusion, "...why the hell are you guys in here with me?"

England looked at him, equally confused, "...well...you told us to come and look for you if you'd been missing for an hour."

"So we attempted to come und find you." Germany said gruffly, still rubbing Italy's back soothingly, attempting to calm him.

"Th-Then those scary Russians attacked us and put us in here..." Italy squeaked quietly, burying his head into the blonds' chest.

America stared at them, jaw dropped to the floor, "Are you guys serious?" he asked in utter bewilderment, voice taking on a sudden angry tone.

England jumped slightly at the change in America's voice, glaring at him slightly, "What?"

"How the hell could /all/ of you get caught?" he demanded, shaking his head in disbelief.

England's fuzzy eyebrows bunched together in irritation, "Well I'm very sorry Alfred but there happened to be a lot more of them than us!"

France nodded, leaning back against the wall, "Oui, zey over powered us."

America just continued to stare at them, the pitch of his voice increasing rapidly because he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Couldn't have just one of you come to look for me instead of all of you?"

England looked him, getting slightly irritated, "What good would that have done?"

"Well you guys obviously got caught cause you're all together and you drew attention to yourselves!" America said in exasperation, "I mean the Russians are gonna notice if a load of foreigners are just wandering around their base you know."

"In our defence we did not think it would be wise to split up in a Russian spy base." Germany growled, also becoming increasingly annoyed at the American's sudden sour tone.

"You didn't have to split up!" America said, aggravated, "Just one of you could have come looking for me."

France looked at him sceptically, "Zen how would we know if anything 'appened to zem?"

"Ja." Germany agreed, arms tightening protectively around the Italian's waist, "What if Feli had gone missing?"

America rolled his eyes, groaning in frustration, "As if you'd send the weakest guy here to come and look for me on his own!"

"Hey!" Germany barked harshly, "Watch your mouth you ignorant American!"

"Man you only ever get testy when it's about your little boyfriend, don't you?" America growled.

"Alfred would you stop being an arse?" England shot at him, glaring at the American, "Look we all tried our best."

"Well your best wasn't good enough!" America yelled back, "Now we're stuck in a cell in the middle of a Russia spy base in the middle of Moscow and there's no one to rescue us!"

England glared at him, swiftly hitting him over the back of the head, "We didn't have to come looking for you at all you know!"

America sighed, rubbing the back of his head, taking a few calming breaths, "Okay okay, I'm sorry alright? Geez..." he muttered, crossing his arms moodily. He let out another sigh, his eyes drifting closed as he leant his head back, "...well at least it can't get any worse." he said softly, causing someone to clear their throat awkwardly. The American's eyes flew open at the sudden tense silence. He looked up at them all, their nervous, slightly shameful faces weren't doing anything to help with his unease. "...what?"

The guys exchanged awkward glances. France slid a hand into the back of his hair, biting his lip slightly, "...we better not tell him what 'appened to ze teleportation device..."

America's head snapped to stare at the Frenchman, "...what happened to the teleportation device?"

England bit his lip, tentatively patting the American's back. "Now look...don't get upset."

"What happened?" America said slowly, shrugging England's hand off his back. He pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath to calm himself, "Where is it?" he asked, his voice just enhancing the awkward silence throughout the room. "...guys?"

"...we didn't want to leave it in ze car..." France said, cringing slightly as he spoke.

"So...we kind of...took it with us when we came looking for you..." England muttered awkwardly.

"In case we needed to make a quick escape." China pointed out.

"...und well..." Germany cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck, "...we don't urm...we don't exactly..."

Italy bit his lip, "We don't exactly..."

"...have it...anymore." England finished softly.

America blinked slowly, a sudden numbness setting in. "...what do you mean...you don't have it?"

Germany sighed, "We mean what we say, we don't have it anymore."

America looked at them all, his face unreadable. "Where is it?"

The guys exchanged some more awkward glances for a few moments. England sighed, folding his arms across his chest, "Well when you're carrying a piece of equipment like that around with you...and the Russian spies get a look at it well...let's just say they may have taken a shine to it."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" America spat, causing everyone to jump.

England stared at him, "Alfred!"

"No England! Just shut up okay? No!" America yelled, scrambling up off the floor. He almost fell with the force of his sudden movement but he was in too much of a blind rage to care. "That is just...no! No this can't be happening! You guys can't have lost it! No no no!" he bellowed, slamming his fist into the all behind him repeatedly, "We NEED it! How the hell are we supposed to get back to Washington? Goddamnit you guys!"

England just sat still, staring at him with his mouth gaping open, "Bloody hell Alfred, would you calm down?"

"No I will not calm down!" he snapped, glaring at the Brit, "We're trapped in a gaddamn Russian spy base with no way of getting out and no way of getting home! And it's all your fault!" America yelled directly at the Brit before he turned his glare on the rest of them. "You guys are useless! All of you! You've really fucked everything up, you know that right?"

Everyone sat in complete silence, America's words stinging through them. But England was just looking at him, eyes narrowed. He slowly got to his feet to face the American, shaking slightly as he spoke. "Oh...well I'm very sorry we put all of our lives in danger so that we could rescue you." he muttered darkly, glaring at him, "I'm sorry we brought the teleportation device with us just in case the worst happened and we needed to escape." he slowly shook his head, "I'm sorry we even wasted our time." he growled, pushing past the American he stormed to the other end of the cell, sitting down beside France.

America swallowed heavily, feeling a flicker of guilt, "England..." he said softly, holding out a hand in vain hope but the Brit was done listening to him.

"This is the worst thing that could possibly happen...how am I supposed to get home to my wife and my children?" China said in despair, resting his head in his hands. The American's outburst suddenly reminding him of their predicament.

"I should never 'ave come on zis stupid adventure." France sighed, leaning into the Brit's shoulder. Who, to America's annoyance, just let him! "I could be back in Paris where I belong, with all ze glitz and glam and ze horny women shoving money into my underwear..."

"I'm not sad." Italy said quietly, chewing on his bottom lip. "Because without this adventure, I would never have met you Luddy..." he gazed up at blond from where he lay leaning against his chest, "I just wish we weren't stuck here, it's so dark and scary."

Germany looked at him sadly, holding him close, "We'll figure something out Feli, I promise." he said, gently cupping the back of Italy's head, tilting him up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

America frowned, slumping back against the brick wall he sank down to the floor, sighing deeply. Everything really had gone to shit. Aside from the obvious reasons; being stuck in a cell in a Russian spy base, no teleportation device and no way of getting home; France was happily cuddling up to England in the corner and the Brit wasn't protesting! America sat sulking at the opposite end of the room, glaring at the pair of them. He had to resist the urge to say something when England wrapped an arm around France's shoulders; the Brit was just doing it to annoy him...and it was working.

"...are you okay Mr America?" America looked up dazedly as Japan slowly scooted over to him, looking at him with concern.

He was silent for a few moments before sighing, running a hand down his face. "...this adventure really did screw up...didn't it?" he muttered, pushing his specs up to rub at his eyes.

Japan looked at him sadly, "It was not your fault."

"Whose fault was it then?" England snapped suddenly, having been listening in to their conversation, "He should never have tried to look for the Russian on his own."

"I didn't see you trying to stop me." America muttered irritably.

England glared at him. "I told you to be careful."

"It's not like I tried to get caught!"

England was just about to yell back when a sudden loud bang silenced them all (apart from the Italian, who gave a slight squeak of terror at the unexpected noise.) The door to the jail or the dungeon or wherever the hell they were suddenly burst open, slamming into the wall just opposite their jail cell; two Russian men tumbling into the room. "Ivan." the man America recognised as the one who had been talking to Russia the first night they saw him was chasing after him, both of them yelling at each other in Russian. He grabbed hold of Russia's arm, yanking him around to face him. "Ivan!"

"Go away!" Russia yelled at him in their language, tugging his arm out of his grasp. He was still wearing his black suit from the birthday ball, his grey hair windswept and dishevelled from his daring escape.

"I need to talk to you!" the man insisted, grabbing hold of him again.

"Leave me alone!"

The brunette glared at him, grabbing a fistful of the scarf the Russian wore around his neck he pushed him up against the wall. "Ivan listen to me!" he yelled, eyes narrowed dangerously. "Dimitri is furious with you for aborting the mission! You were supposed to get Helga out of the country tonight!"

Russia stared at him, "Well what did he expect me to do? They'd found me!"

"He expected you to stay there and face the music!"

"So you mean he expected me to die?"

"Da, that's what Dimitri expects from all of us Ivan." he said, slowly releasing the Russian. "...you knew that when you signed up with us."

"...I never signed up for this." Russia said slowly, shaking his head, "I wanted to be a spy...I didn't want to run around telling a young, fragile girl that I am her long lost uncle, earning her trust and then betraying it by breaking her heart at her own birthday ball." he muttered darkly, voice shaking as he spoke, "...this is not what I signed myself up for."

"Life is never what we expect it to be Ivan...I thought you of all people would know that by now."

Russia sighed, leaning back against the wall. "...so what do we do?"

"We?" the brunette raised an eyebrow, "There's no we, Ivan, you're the one in hot water with the boss."

Russia glared at him, "You're not going to help me?"

"...what would you have me do?"

Russia bit his lip, he was silent for a few moments as he thought about it. He eventually sighed, fists clenched at his sides. "Go and talk to Dimitri, calm him now, tell him...tell him I'll go back and get Helga, even if it means I die."

He nodded, "...okay...for now you stay here and guard the prisoners." he said, casting a dark look over his shoulder to the strange foreigners they had locked up, who were all watching him and Russia with slight fear and confusion. "Find out who they are."

Russia nodded slowly, waiting until the man had left through the door they'd came in from before turning back to the prisoners, addressing them in English. "So. Who are you all?" he asked, leaning back against the wall opposite the cell.

America pushed himself up off the floor, "Well I'm-"

"You were there!" Russia said suddenly, eyes widening as he recognised the American, "At the ball, I remember seeing you...who are you? What are you doing here? Are you following me?"

"I'm America; I came here to look for you...so yes, technically I am following you." America said, moving closer to the cell bars.

"You're strange."

America stared at him, jaw dropping to the floor, "WHAT? You're one to talk! Where I'm from you're an absolute freak!"

Germany sighed irritably, "Gott sake Alfred is that any way to talk to the man?"

"What do you mean...where you are from?" Russia asked in confusion.

America sighed, "Look, Ivan was it? I'm gonna level with ya. I'm from an alternate universe, a universe where us guys, we're all the representations of our own countries. I'm America, and this is England, France, Germany, Japan, China and Italy...and you're Russia. So we've all teleported here to Moscow to ask you to come with us."

Russia blinked slowly. He was used to dealing with strange people who break into their headquarters...but this was something entirely different. "...am I going to have to torture you for the correct information?" he asked with a sweet little smile.

"T-Torture?" Italy squeaked.

"Alfred I don't like zis man!"

America sighed, "No one is getting tortured alright?" he said firmly, glaring at the Russian, "Now listen here you ass, we've been through hell the last few days trying to get everyone together and I'm getting pretty sick of explaining the damn story, so just should believe what I'm saying alright?"

"Alfred for God sake what on earth is up your arse today?" England snapped, staring at him in disbelief.

Russia glared at the American through the cell bars. "You are not a very nice man. You shall be tortured first."

America growled irritably, kicking one of the metal bars, "For God sake you're not listening!"

Germany exchanged a glance with the Brit, shaking his head at the American. "Alfred would you calm down?"

"No it's not my fault! It's him!" America cried, pointing an accusing finger at the Russian through the metal jail bars. "It's always him, there's no reasoning with him!"

"You don't know me, why are you talking like that?" Russia demanded, glaring at him.

"I do know you, you ass! I know everything about you!"

Russia just stared at him, blinking slowly, "...you're my stalker?"

America cringed, leaning his head against the bars, "No...no I am not."

"Alfred we're getting nowhere." England said, sighing irritably, getting to his feet. "Look, Ivan I know this is a rather unusual situation...but we've been on a journey to find you and we need to you to join us...you're the missing link in this whole mission."

Russia looked at him curiously, "...mission? Do you work for MI5? You've come here to spy on us da?"

"No, Ivan, we're on our own mission from...well, from this idiot technically." the Brit said, nodding to the American.

America nodded, lifting his head up off the bars, "Yeah, and at the moment I am seriously regretting trying to recruit you."

"How did you get here?" Russia asked.

America sighed irritably; he couldn't stand this for one minute longer. "We teleported, now would you let us out of here so we can get the hell back to our own damn universe?"

Russia glared at him, "I will not do anything an American says, you're all crazy." he looked to the Brit, "He must have brain washed you da?"

America growled, hitting the bars with his fist, "Would you just listen to me? You God damn commie bastard!"

England slapped the back of America's head, "Alfred!"

"Capitalist pig!" Russia shot back, moving dangerously close to the jail cell.

America glared at him, "You wanna come in here and say that?"

"Stop arguing with him!" England hissed, giving him another whack for good measure. He looked apologetically at the Russian, sighing slightly,

"Ivan he hasn't brain washed any of us okay? We just...well to be honest I don't really know why we all agreed to this crazy adventure...I guess none of us really had anything to lose by taking a chance." he said softly, moving closer to the bar cells. "But for whatever reason Alfred has assured us that we need you to join us...and it looks to me that you don't really have much to lose either."

Russia sighed softly, "Da...but I cannot let you out. I am already in a bad place with my boss."

"Dude screw him!" America said, trying to focus his irritation on someone else. "Look I don't like you okay? And you don't like me. But dude whether I like it or not you belong with us okay? You're...well you're not really our friend, but you're a country and we gotta stick together, I mean..." he glanced back behind him at all of the guys, "I mean what about China?"

"What about me?" China asked, suddenly quite panicked at being picked out.

Russia looked past the American curiously to the long haired Asian sat in the jail cell, "Da...what about the girly man?"

"You're like creepy obsessed with him! You go around stalking him in a panda costume!"

China gaped at the American, absolutely horrified, "...aiyah..."

Russia blinked slowly, gazing at China for a few moments. "Da...that sounds like fun."

China shifted around awkwardly, "...I do not like this man."

"You gonna come with us dude or not?" American asked, looking at the Russian determinedly.

Russia dithered for a moment, shaking his head, "I cannot release you...I mean you would never make it out of the building alive."

Italy squeaked, burying himself into Germany again, "I don't like this!"

"Come on Ivan, there must be something you can do." England insisted.

Russia bit his lip, "Well...there is-"

"Ivan!" the Russian jumped slightly as the door burst open once more, a tall, blond haired Russian swept his way inside. He an air of authority about him, and one long, deep scar dug into the side of his face, all the way from the corner of his eye to the bottom of his jaw.

"Dimitri." Russia said, backing up against the jail bars as the man rounded on him. "I-I'll go back for Helga-"

"That's not why I'm here." he growled in Russian, producing a strange device from behind his back. He pushed the Russian roughly aside, holding up the device to the foreigners in the jail cell. "You. American." he said, addressing him in English. "What is the purpose of this device?"

America stared at the device in his hands, eyes widening behind his specs, "Dude..." he looked up, smiling slightly, "Just uhh...you know...give it here and I'll show you what it does."

Dimitri raised an eyebrow, "Do you think I am crazy?"

"Just a bit." America muttered, gasping out slightly as England hit him in the stomach.

Dimitri glared at him, pulling a key out of his pocket. "Ivan." he growled, jamming the key into the lock on the cell door he wrenched it open wide. "Show our American friend how we deal with people trying to spy on our organisation."

America looked confused, "Wait aren't you all spies?"

"Oh shut up Alfred!" England hissed, face palming beside him.

"Dimitri I think I should be getting back to the Estate to deal with Helga-" Russia said unsurely, wincing slightly as the device was forcefully shoved into his stomach by the blond.

"Find out how it works. You have thirty seconds to get them to tell you or you'll be sharing their fate." he growled, shoving the Russian into the cell with the others. He locked the cell door behind the Russian, trapping him with the prisoners; he held up his watch to count down the seconds. "I'm waiting Ivan."

Russia swallowed slightly, scrambling around with the device in his hands, jabbing at all of the buttons, "What is it? How does it work?" he asked the men in panic, lights and words flashing up on the screen.

"Give it here!" America elbowed him out the way, grabbing the device from his hands. "Everyone grab onto me! We're getting out of here."

Germany was the first to act, jumping to his feet he pulled Italy up by the hand, grabbing onto the American's arm. "Where are we going?"

"Back to Washington, Russia." America looked up at the tall Russian, "You coming dude?"

Russia glanced back over his shoulder at his boss; who was starting to realise what was going on. He quickly whipped out his key again, desperately trying to get the cell door open. "Da, okay." he said, placing a hand on the device.

"What is going on Ivan?" Dimitri yelled, cursing in Russian as he dropped the key in his haste to wrench open the door.

France jumped up onto England's back, almost toppling him over in the process, "Hurry up!"

"For God sake, I can't carry you, you're too bloody heavy!" England protested, grabbing onto America's free arm as he continued to press and jab at buttons on the device.

Japan clung onto Germany's other arm that wasn't holding Italy, "Mr American, I do not wish to alarm you but this man appears to be getting angry." he said, casting a worried glance at the fuming blond, who'd finally succeeded in jamming his key into the lock of the jail cell.

"Shit!" America fiddled around for a second longer until 'Washington' flashed up on the screen, "Alright hang on dudes! China grab onto someone!"

"Take my hand." Russia said, holding out his arm to the Asian.

China looked unsure, dithering slightly, "But-"

"IVAN!" Dimitri burst the door wide open, scaring the life out of all of them. America couldn't waste anymore time with this crazed Russian mere feet away. He didn't even know if everyone was ready, but he slammed a fist down onto the big red button, sending waves of electricity and a blast of bright blue light surrounded them. China yelped out, throwing himself forwards into the light he clung onto the tall Russian who caught him easily, holding him tight as his other hand clung to the teleportation device. In an instant Dimitri vanished, his yells reduced to echoes that could be heard as they went spiralling off through the air, blinded by light and deafened by buzzing, bodies shaking uncontrollably as the were sent blasting off to their destination.

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><p><strong>There's...not really an excuse to why I haven't updated in so long...writer's block? Lame excuse, I beg your forgiveness! *waves white flag*<strong>


	10. Back to Square One

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?**

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><p>Russia stumbled backwards as the ground suddenly hit his feet, yet still clung tightly to the Asian in his arms. He eventually peeled open his eyes, blinking slowly at this new location he'd suddenly found himself in with these strange foreign men. A rural area of the city, broken glass shattered at their feet; they'd arrived in front of a large, narrow bleak block of flats. The building was adorned with colourful graffiti and absent of most of its windows, if anything it looked almost as, if not more, creepy looking than the Russian cell they'd just been in.<p>

"Where are we?" Russia asked dazedly, arms still wrapped protectively around China.

America let go of the teleportation device as Germany took it from him, gazing around at his home, a slight smile playing on his lips, "Washington."

Germany wrinkled his nose in disgust at the state of the road they were stood in; open bin liners spilling their rubbish out onto the street. "Mein gott what kind of hell hole is this?"

"Hey dude that's my country you're talking about!" America said defensively.

Germany rolled his eyes, "I mean this place, why are we in this particular area?"

"This is where I woke up." America said, nodding up to the block of flats they'd arrived at. "It's where Alfred lives."

"You weren't lying when you said he was a scumbag." England muttered, cautiously stepping over some broken glass.

Italy looked around slightly nervously, scooting closer to the German. "What are we doing here?"

Germany took Italy's hand, "The American said this was the last part of our journey."

"Oui, he said we would go back to being countries when we came 'ere." France said sceptically, folding his arms across his chest, glancing around for a few moments. "...I do not feel like a country, anyone else?"

England shook his head, raising an eyebrow at the American, "Nope, not at all."

America waved a dismissive hand at them, smiling certainly, "Just give it a minute."

China finally managed to wrench himself away from Russia, gasping slightly as he was finally able to breathe. "Now that everyone has been found, can I please be returned to Beijing?"

"Ja, und I would like to get back home also."

"...I've never been to Berlin before." the Italian said softly from Germany's side, clinging onto his hand.

Germany smiled, going slightly red, "You could...come with me if you like..." he muttered softly, gently squeezing his hand.

America sighed, rolling his eyes, "No one's going anywhere, I put a hell of a lot of effort into finding you guys, I'm not losing you now."

France gazed around the deserted estate, "Zen what are we going to do?"

"Yes Alfred." England turned to the American, one eyebrow raised, "What happened to going back to being countries? I thought you had some big plan."

"I do." America said, a little uncertain this time. Damn it...they were just standing around like idiots, why wasn't anything happening? A light bulb suddenly went off over America's head. "I just gotta find my friend Tony, he'll put everything back to normal." he said, beaming at them all.

England stared at him blankly for a moment, before remembering where he'd heard that name before; when he'd just met the American. "What, the alien?"

Russia looked at America curiously, placing an arm around China's shoulders who tensed immediately. "Alien?"

"Mein gott." Germany muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in despair. "First teleporting, magic forces and now aliens? What did I ever do to deserve this?" he groaned softly, looking up to the sky.

America laughed slightly, "Trust me guys, Tony will know what to do."

China sighed, "Well where is he?"

America glanced around momentarily until his eyes settled on the block of flats he'd awoken in mere days before. "He's probably inside, watching television, come on I'll show you." he lead everyone up to the door and jogged up the first flight of stairs; at least he could remember where Alfred's apartment was. The door was slightly open and America ran inside in ecstatics, expecting to see Tony casually lying across the sofa, watching something on the TV.

America frowned. The apartment was empty, and what was more the television had actually gone missing. Obviously Mark's revenge for the American stealing his car in the first place...

"...Tony?" America called into the clearly empty apartment, his voice echoing slightly in the sparse room. "Tony dude you in here?" he tried again, taking a few steps into the room, feet creaking on the wooden floor boards beneath the mouldy carpet. "Tony..."

"Well?" Germany said gruffly from behind him, he and the rest of the guys following the American into the filthy apartment.

America spun around to give them a distorted reassuring grin, "Just give it a second guys, I'm sure he'll show up." he tried again, even going as far as to open the door on the only kitchen cupboard (resulting in him breaking it off it's rusty hinges completely) and checking to see if his friend was hiding in there. "Tony!"

Behind him England had his head in his hand, "For God sake..."

"Zis iz just getting sad now." France muttered.

"No seriously, wait!" America insisted, "Tony dude! You can come out now, I got everyone back!" he called into thin air, waving his arms at his friends. "We'd like to be countries again!"

England shook his head, waiting another few moments for this alien to show himself before turning to the German. "Right, that's it; Ludwig set the device to Beijing, might as well start dropping everyone off."

"No! Don't do that, just give it another minute." America said, checking inside the fridge this time.

England sighed, "Alfred this is stupid."

"England I promise you! Just hang on..." America said desperately, holding up a hand as he gazed around the empty apartment, just waiting for something to happen. "Come on Tony please..."

Germany began fiddling with the device in his hands. "Beijing first ja?" he said to the rest.

China nodded, "Yes please."

"I can come too da?" Russia said from beside him.

China froze, "Urm what?"

"I come home with you da?"

"...no, no thank you."

"Germany put that down!" America snapped, glaring at the blond, "Tony will be here any second."

England sighed irritably, "Oh for God sake Alfred just stop with all this foolishness!"

"Dude it's not! Tony got me into this mess and I promise you he'll get me out."

"No Alfred, YOU got us all into this mess." England yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the American's chest. "You dragged us away from our homes for this nonsense!"

"It's not nonsense!" America insisted, pushing England's hand away. "Everything I've been telling you guys is the truth! I promise you!"

"Well where's the proof? Hm?" England asked, raising a bushy eyebrow, "All we have to go on is your ridiculous story and that bloody device!" he waved a hand vaguely in the German's direction, who was frowning as he jabbed at the buttons. "Both of which have caused all of us nothing but misery!"

America looked slightly hurt at England's accusation of his story being 'ridiculous'; his brow creasing with confusion, "...I thought you believed me."

England bit his lip, sighing softly as he ran a hand through his blond locks. "...I wanted to believe it." he muttered softly, folding his arms across his chest. "More than anything I wished it was true...that I actually meant something to the world, that I was a making a difference..." he said bitterly, letting his eyes bore into the American's own. "You gave me hope, Alfred, the hope that I was meant to do greater things then hand out parking tickets and go home to an empty apartment each night...but that was never going to change, was it?" he muttered, voice shaking slightly as he spoke. America swallowed slightly as England stared him down; the Brit shook his head, turning away from him. "...I'm going back to London."

America reached out a hand to grab him. "England-"

"Don't call me that!" England spat, spinning around to glare at him. "My name...is Officer Arthur Kirkland...and I'd thank you to remember that."

America stared at him, eyes wide behind his specs; this couldn't possibly be how this was going to end...

"I'm ready to go back when you are." China said quietly to the German, breaking the awkward silence.

"Uhh...that might be a bit of a dilemma." Germany muttered, rotating the device in his hands, slapping it on the side and giving it a shake.

England looked confused, "What?"

Germany tried the buttons again, frown lines appearing on his forehead. "...the device appears to be jammed."

England stared at him, going to the blond to get a look at the screen on the device. "Oh God it's broken?"

"Ja..." Germany nodded, giving it another tap for good measure but the screen remained blank. "It's been overused."

"Can you fix it Ludwig?" Italy asked from beside him, biting his lip in concern.

Germany nodded slowly, turning it upside down to get a look at the back. It may have been a foreign device, but he'd never met a piece of equipment he couldn't repair. "I think so...it may take a while." he said, reaching into the pocket of his fancy trousers he wore to the ball; the German he took out a wrench which he'd had with him strapped to his mechanics belt the entire trip.

America stared at them, "You guys...you're seriously just giving up and going home?" he said softly; none of them were paying attention to him now, all focused on Germany and the device.

"...it's not as if there's anything for us here is there?" England muttered, glancing around the dirty apartment. "Come on guys, let's sort it out outside." he said, leading the guys back out the door and down the flight of steps to the main street. It may not be practical, but it was better than being stood awkwardly with the American in his apartment, especially when he had that damn annoying kicked puppy look about him.

America helplessly watched them go. What was there he could possibly do? At least the device was broken, meaning they couldn't leave him. But what the hell was going on? He let out a sigh, flopping down onto the stained sofa, sinking into the cushions, resting his head in his hands he raked his fingers through his hair. "Man...Tony dude what have you done to me?" he groaned slightly in despair, shaking his head from side to side.

"...Mr America?" a quiet voice sounded from behind him.

America looked up, spotting the slightly anxious looking Asian who hadn't followed the rest of the guys downstairs. "Oh...hey Japan." he said softly, trying to smile.

Japan tentatively approached the sofa, perching himself on the arm beside the American. "...are you okay?"

"Not really...man why did this have to happen?" America groaned, resting his head back against the sofa, sighing heavily, "God damnit..."

"Mr America...what did you think would happen when we got back to your home?" Japan asked curiously.

America was quiet for a moment before shrugging, "I don't really know Japan...I've kinda just been making this thing up as I go along, hoping it would work."

"...hoping what would work?"

"That we'd go back to the way we were!" America cried, flopping his arms back against the sofa cushions. "Be countries again...I had no idea we'd be stuck as humans for the rest of our lives..."

Japan looked at him sadly, "Are you not happy as a human?"

America sighed, nudging his glasses up to rub at his eyes. "Japan we're not human, we're countries, that's who we are it's who we've always been." he said firmly, letting his arm slowly fall back down to the sofa as he thought about his own words. America slowly shook his head, "...and I can't believe I messed that up..."

"...what did you do?" Japan asked softly

"I wished to be human...and Tony, God bless him, he was just trying to help, but I didn't want him to! I didn't want this..." America groaned in despair, clawing at his hair again. "...and I thought Tony would be here waiting for me, and he'd be able to put everything back to normal."

"Surely this...alien." Japan said slightly awkwardly, "...does not live in this universe."

"He does man, he left me the teleportation device and a note, so he has to be somewhere."

"Well...where do you think he could be?"

America bit his lip, thinking hard...but came up blank. "I dunno...I thought he'd be here since this is where I supposedly live. There's nowhere else he could be."

"Well...where does he come from?"

"Outer space." America said pointedly.

Japan mentally cringed, "I mean where does he come from in your universe? Where did you meet him?"

America blinked slowly, he had not considered this. He cast his mind back, all those years ago, trying to recall his first encounter with his little alien friend. The American's eyes widened behind his specs, slowly sitting up on the sofa. "...Roswell." he whispered, voice almost inaudible, "Roswell, New Mexico...I met him there, and he came to live with me."

Japan smiled slightly, "In that case, he may be still living there."

America nodded, "Yeah...yeah I think you're right!" he said, suddenly beaming, jumping to his feet. "Aw dude, we gotta get over there!"

"Kiku are you ready to go?" Italy suddenly chirped from the doorway, he and the rest of the guys wandering back inside; Germany with the device tucked under his arm.

"Guys!" America grinned, jumping over the back on the sofa. "We've worked out what to do." he announced happily.

"Forget it Alfred, we're going home." England muttered darkly.

"Ja, unfortunately there's going to be a lot of travelling for most of us." he said, taking hold of the device.

America looked confused, "Huh? What do you mean?"

Germany sighed, "The device is almost completely totalled, I managed to get it working again however I estimate it's got about one use left in it before it becomes completely unusable."

America frowned, "...you serious?"

"Ja, so we've decided the best course of action to take is to use the last use in the device to take us back to Europe, und then we can all make our own way home from there." he said, looking apologetically at Japan, "Sorry Kiku, you'll have quite a journey to make."

"No he won't." America said, snatching the device off the German. "I know where we're going."

"What?" England asked, brows creasing in irritation.

America looked at them determinedly, "You all gotta come with me to Roswell."

Germany's face contorted with confusion, "...New Mexico? Why?"

"Cause that's where Tony is!" America announced happily, waiting for the guy's ecstatic reactions.

China sighed, resting his head in his palm, "Aiyah..."

"It's true!" America insisted, "That's where his space ship landed! He's gotta still be there, let's go there and look for him!"

Germany glared at him, grabbing the device back from the American's hands. "Alfred, there's one use left in the device, und we're using it get home."

"But if we go to Roswell we will get home!" America said, preaching to the rest, "To our real homes, back in the real universe."

China sighed, "Not this again."

"Guys seriously trust me! He'll be there; I know he'll be there!"

"That's an insane idea, what if he's not there?" Germany muttered gruffly, keeping a firm hold on the device. "Then we'll be stuck."

"Well that's just a chance we gotta take if we ever want to go back to the way things were." America said, his gaze going along each one of them, lingering slightly longer on England as he used his best pleading eyes. "...come on guys."

Germany shook his head, "Nein, we're going home."

America glared at him, reaching for the teleportation device. "It's my device and I say we gotta go to Roswell."

"We wouldn't even be in this mess if it wasn't for you!" Germany snapped, holding it out of America's reach.

"You would never have met Italy if it wasn't for me!" America pointed out, causing the German to curse silently under his breath, but he still wouldn't relinquish the device.

France rolled his eyes, deciding to use reason. "Why don't we just put it to a vote?"

America thought about it, it seemed a good a bet as any. "Yeah okay, one vote each. We either go to Roswell to find Tony and become countries again...or we give up like pussys and go home."

Germany glared at him, but an exchange of glances with the others assured him there was no way he could possibly lose. "Fine, und if it's a tie we go for Europe." he added.

America smiled slightly, "Deal." he said shaking the German's hand firmly. "Well I vote for Roswell, Germany?

"Ludwig." the blond growled, "Und I say we go home...Feli?" he turned to his little Italian, holding out his hand.

Italy smiled softly, wrapping his fingers around the German's large hand. "I'm sticking with you Ludwig."

Germany smiled, softening slightly. "Good, Kiku?" he turned to the Asian.

Japan bit his lip, dithering with his answer before he sighed, "I agree it is an insane idea Mr Ludwig..." he muttered softly, shuffling over to stand by America's side, opposite him. "But I'm afraid I must side with Mr America, he saved my life after all."

Germany raised an eyebrow but shrugged slightly, "Alright, two each...Yao?"

"I need to get home to my wife and children." he said without hesitation, going to stand with Germany and Italy.

Germany nodded. "Ivan?"

Russia looked at the Asian curiously, "...I cannot come home with you?" he asked, hope glinting in his eyes,

"No." China growled.

Russia looked slightly reluctant as he went to stand with America. "Then I side with the American...I'll be killed if I step foot back in Moscow."

Germany tried to keep calm but the numbers didn't seem to be looking in his favour. "...Francis?"

France smirked slightly, counting the people on each side; the blond didn't really have a preference either way. "Hmm...just to make it interesting, I'll let Arthur be ze decider." he said with a wink in the Brit's direction as he sauntered over to the American. "I'm for Roswell."

Germany sighed, "Alright, Arthur?" he glanced at the blond, "It's down to you, if you side with the American we'll go to Roswell, if you're with us it'll be four on either side...and in the event of a tie we'll go back to Europe."

England raised an eyebrow, "Well I think it's pretty obvious where I stand on this."

"England, please..." America begged, reaching out to take the Brit's hand as he tried to side with the German.

England sighed, pulling away from him. "Alfred give it up, aliens are not real and I'm not going to Roswell to try and find one!"

"I thought you wanted to go back to being a country." America said defensively.

"I would if it was possible but it's not, this whole mission, this whole thing has been absolutely ridiculous!"

"So? It's been fun!"

England stared at him, "Fun? What the bloody hell do you mean fun? How has any of this been fun?" he asked in utter bewilderment.

America laughed slightly, taking the Brit's hand again. "England in the last few days you've travelled the world! You've met so many different people, made new friends." he nodded to the guys who were stood watching them. "You've been to a strip club in Paris...eaten authentic Chinese food in Beijing, been to a show in Rome...crashed a party in Moscow..." America trailed off, shaking his head slightly in awe as he came to terms with just what kind of adventure they'd really had. "Dude you've done stuff people could only dream off."

England sighed, rolling his eyes dismissively, "Yes but I've also had my life put in danger on a number of occasions, been repeatedly molested by a French stripper." he growled, shooting a dirty look in France's direction. "Been forced to sleep in a filthy caravan with a load of strange men, no offence, been constantly yelled at by a German, been put in jail, and developed an idiotic crush on some bloody American!" he yelled angrily, bushy brows furrowed together. England swallowed slightly, face going bright red when he realised what he'd just blurted out in his ramblings.

America blinked slowly, gently lacing his fingers with England's as he still clung onto his hand. "England..." he said softly, trying to get the Brit to look at him as the blond tried to pull away.

"...I just want this to be over..." England muttered softly, head lowered to the grubby carpet as tears threatened to fall. "I just want to go home..."

"To do what? Your crappy job? Which to be honest you've probably lost since you've been gone for the last few days..." he pointed out; the Brit almost groaned in despair. "England you're destined for greatness, I promise you...please, I need you." America begged, gently cupping the Brit's face with his other hand.

England bit his lip, shivering slightly under the American's soft touch. "...I don't know."

"Please...for me?" America pleaded softly, gently pulling the Brit closer with the hand still grasping his, tilting his chin up towards his own.

England swallowed heavily, caught in the American's intense gaze as they were brought steadily closer, their noses brushing together as their lips were mere millimetres from one another.

"What's it going to be Arthur?" the German interrupted rudely, getting impatient now.

England took a reluctant step back from the American, sighing softly. America still had that irresistible pleading look on his face and damn it...the Brit just couldn't resist it. "...if you screw me over again Alfred, you will regret it." England warned dangerously.

America smiled reassuringly, "Trust me dude."

England sighed, holding out his hand. "Alright, let's go find your alien...wow, that's something I never thought I'd say in my life." he muttered; the American laughed, taking the Brit's hand.

Germany stared at him, not believing what had just happened. America bounded over to him, taking the device, "Thanks for holding it for me dude." he said cheerily, fiddling with the buttons.

"You can't be serious!" China said, staring at the German, "You're really going to let him do this?"

Germany sighed irritably, "We shook on it." he muttered darkly, glaring at the Brit. "Congratulations Arthur, your vote has just ruined our lives." he growled, placing a hand on the device when the American held it out for them all.

"Oh God I'm going to be stuck in New Mexico, with no way of getting home..." China complained, also grabbing on.

Russia smiled, clinging to the Asian, "Now we get to spend more time together!"

"Aiyah..."

Japan placed a tentative hand on Germany's shoulder, slightly wary of the blonds' hatred towards him at that moment. "I'm sure we'll find the alien..."

"If not...at least we'll all still be together." Italy said softly, curling up under the German's arm.

France went to jump on England's back but America pushed him to one side before he managed to grab on. "Hey, this is our love story buddy, stop trying to wrestle your way in." he muttered in the blonds' ear, taking a firmer hold on England's hand.

France pouted slightly, taking hold of the device instead. "...not fair."

England smiled in relief, linking his fingers with the American's, "...you better be right about this."

America smiled back at him, "Dude trust me, would I ever steer you guys wrong?" he tried to ignore the deadpan stares he got in return as he reached for the right button. "Alright guys, hang on." for what seemed like the hundredth time; the American slammed his fist down on the big red button, sending waves of powerful electricity, blue light and deafening buzzing blasting out into the surroundings. The bright light seemed distorted, as if struggling to work. But like always, the guys felt their feet lift off the ground, blasting off to what America was certain, was their final destination.

* * *

><p><strong>Just one more to go I promise<strong>

**Reviews are love :)**


	11. Return to Reality

**Title: Back to Reality**

**Pairings: America/England, France/England, Germany/Italy, Russia/China**

**"Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't a country!" America learns that he better be careful what he wishes for, especially when he has an alien friend who can make it happen. America's world is turned upside down as he wakes up as some guy called Alfred Jones, but if he's not a country anymore then who is he? More importantly...what happened to everyone else?**

* * *

><p>The first thing the guys could feel was hard gravel beneath their feet. But unlike all the previous times they'd teleported; this time they were thrown a good few feet away from where they originally landed, all of them stumbling dangerously as they threatened to topple over; Italy did, taking Germany with him.<p>

"Ow...sorry Ludwig..." Italy mumbled apologetically, struggling to sit up off the hard ground, blinking around slowly in the harsh light; it was the middle of the day back in the States.

"It's alright, Feli...hang on, where's the-"

"Oh no!" Italy cried, jumping to his feet when he spotted the teleportation device, a few yards away smashed into about a hundred different pieces. Completely destroyed. Italy bit his lip, helping the German to his feet, "Ludwig...did-did I make you drop it?" he asked worriedly, eyes welling up with tears.

"No Feli, it disintegrated in ours hands when we landed." he reassured him, he and the rest of the guys slowly approached it to get a good look; the last remains of hope shattered at their feet. Germany sighed, "Ja...like I thought, it could only handle one more trip."

"I don't think even you can fix that Ludwig." Italy said sadly, slipping his hand into the German's.

China's eyes remained transfixed on the broken equipment. "So...we're really stuck here then?

"Ja..." Germany muttered, dragging his gaze away from his Italian he let it fall on the surrounding area. They appeared to be on some kind of ranch, they'd landed just beside a field of corn on a dirt road. The sun blazing above their head in the cloudless sky, no civilisation for miles. "Oh dear gott, it's an absolute wasteland."

France bit his lip, "Zis...iz starting to look like a bad idea."

Germany glared at him, "Well you're the one who sided with the American Frenchie." he growled.

"You didn't 'ave to agree to ze vote you could 'ave just taken us home!" France shot back.

"You're the one who suggested it in the first place!"

"Guys!" America held up his hands to silence them. "Would you stop arguing already? Have you forgotten why we're here?"

Japan nodded, trying to smile in a reassuring way, "Hai, let's look this alien, all hope is not lost yet."

Russia looked up at the mention of the alien. "You people really are strange."

"Hey it's either that or nothing now come on." America said, waving back at them all as he began making his way up the dirt road towards the top of the ranch.

Germany sighed, keeping hold of Italy's hand as they followed. "Well with all the nonsense we've been through these past days it's not as if the existence of this alien could be shocking in any way..."

America beamed back at him, "Exactly." he carried on walking for a few minutes, biting his lip in thought, trying to remember exactly where he found Tony... "If I remember right Tony's spaceship crashed by some guy's house..." he stopped suddenly, and England bumped into the back of him; he mumbled an apology but America didn't even register it, too busy looking. He craned his neck above the corn and felt his stomach flip excitedly when he spotted a familiar little cottage. "This way!" he called, racing off through the corn field without a word of warning. The guys rolled their eyes, jogging after him through the field, pretty much destroying all the crops in the process.

America eventually made his way through to the other side, hopped over the wooden fence and bounded onto the cottage's front lawn, eyes darting about excitedly. "Yes!" he cried, throwing his fist up into the air when he found what he was looking for. Just beside a rose bush that sat in the front garden, was a large metal container, bashed and dented as if it had crash landed. America knew it all too well. "I knew it!" he beamed, racing over to it just as the guys caught up and followed him over. The American dove onto his knees, pulling apart the remains on the hatch way he thrust an arm inside, hoping to hit something. "Tony dude!" he called, swinging his arm inside in all directions.

"Huh?" America couldn't feel anything. It was empty. "Tony?" he pulled back, giving the shuttle a quick shake and he banged on the sides a few times. But it just sounded hollow. America frowned with confusion; he got to his feet, rotating slowly as he gazed around the ranch. "Tony...you here?" he called, voice echoing slightly above the corn field. He swallowed slightly as he could feel everyone's eyes on him. "Uhhh..."

Germany stopped just short of the American, dark eyes fixed on his face. "Well?"

"Hang on, he can't be far." America insisted, pacing around the space ship a few times he craned his neck to get a good look around as he yelled, "TONY! You here buddy? It's your pal America!" Everyone stood in complete silence, only a slight gust of wind answered the American back.

China rested his head in his hands, "Oh great..."

Italy bit his lip, circling his arms around the German's. "Ludwig...what happens now?"

Germany's dark glare was fixed on America's face. "Now Feli, we kick the shit out of the American." he growled, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows.

"Wait!" America said in panic, holding up his hands. "It's not over yet!"

England sighed irritably, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh bloody hell Alfred!"

"What ze hell do we do now?" France demanded, glaring at the American.

"This is partly your fault Frenchie!" Germany thundered, shoving the blond roughly. "Und you Arthur!" he pointed an accusing finger at the Brit. "We should have just gone back to Europe, I KNEW this would happen!"

Japan bit his lip, tentatively patting the American's shoulder. "Mr America...are you sure he's not anywhere else?"

Germany growled irritably before the American could answer. "For Gott sake Kiku there is no alien! Open your eyes!"

"There is!" America insisted, waving an arm at the heap of scrap metal at their feet. "Here's his spaceship."

Germany glanced down briefly, eyebrow raised, "That's not a spaceship it's a weather balloon you stupid American!"

England slowly spun around, biting his lip as he could feel his hear hammering anxiously in his chest. "Oh my God...we're actually stuck here."

America reached for the Brit's hand. "England I'm sorry." he said softly.

England spun around his stare at him, "Sorry? Sorry won't help Alfred!" he snapped, yanking his hand away. "We're in the middle of nowhere! How the hell are we supposed to get home now? We could die out here!"

"D-Die?" Italy whimpered, clinging onto the German. "Whaaa Ludwig!"

"I promised my wife I would be home in a few days!" China cried in despair, "I can't be stuck here any longer!"

Russia frowned, draping himself across the back of the Asian. "You're married?"

"Yes!" China hissed, shrugging him off, "Now leave me alone!"

America bit his lip, continuing to rotate as he gazed around the ranch. Tony was nowhere in sight, and it looked as if he hadn't lived here in years, if at all. "Dude this can't be happening..."

"This is all your fault!" Germany roared, jabbing America in the chest. "I don't care if you introduced me to Feli, because of you we're stuck out here!"

America swallowed heavily, threading a hand into the back of his hair, "I-I was so sure it would work..."

"What?" England stared at him, "So you didn't even know whether he was here or not? Alfred!"

"I'm sorry okay? This wasn't supposed to happen!" America cried.

"Well it did happen! England snapped, "This is all your fault! Why the bloody hell did I think it was a good idea to listen to you?" he groaned, clutching his hair.

America bit his lip, reaching for the Brit's hand but it was pulled sharply away as if the American's was red hot. "England please, I'm sorry...I'm sorry to all of you! Okay?" he cried, holding out his arms in submission. "I just...I-I love you guys!"

Germany gave a harsh snort, "Don't patronise us, if you really are the representation of your selfish land there's no chance in hell you'd care about any one of us."

"No I mean it!" America insisted, suddenly jumping up onto the remains of the space ship to address the guys. "I mean you guys annoy the living hell out of me, especially you Russia," he added, nodding to the silver haired man, "But you're all my friends and I care about you! Except for you Russia, but I need you guys! That's the whole reason I started this is the first place!" he cried, eyes bright with desperation, "You all mean the world to me, you are the goddamn world! Maybe I didn't have to drag you guys all with me to find Tony, but I wouldn't have been able to do it without you! I don't know what I'd do, without any of you!" The American held out a hand to the Brit. "England, you raised me and took care of me since I was a kid...and without you I wouldn't be the man I am today."

England gaped at him, "Oh come on you can't blame me for that!"

He ignored him, turning to the Italian, "Italy, you make some of the best food in the world! Your pizza is kick ass dude!" the Italian looked quite pleased with himself; America reached out to the German. "Germany, your cars are bad ass, seriously." Germany raised an eyebrow. "Japan your cartoons and comics are so cool!" Japan looked slightly confused. "China, thanks to your love of copying everything everyone else does, things are manufactured so quickly and so cheaply! It rocks!" China looked quite insulted. "France your country is just beautiful, and your food is pretty awesome too." France looked quite smug with himself. "And Russia..." he turned to the Russian, going quiet for a moment as he struggled to find something nice to say. "...you always make the best of a bad situation, and that's pretty cool."

England shook his head, gently placing a hand on his arm to stop his ramblings. "Alfred..."

"I'm sorry guys!" America cried, jumping down onto the ground, resting his hands on the back on his head. "I'm really am...aww man...this sucks! I never wanted this to happen!" he flung out his arms, yelling up to the sky. "I just want to be a country again!"

"Was that all you wanted?"

America froze as a familiar voice sounded from somewhere behind him. A voice that would not normally be speaking English. Slowly he, as well as everybody else, turned around to find a small, red eyed alien stood some distance behind them, greasy burger in hand.

America blinked slowly, "T-Tony?"

The alien wolfed down the remains of his food, shrugging slightly. "If that's what you want, you only had to say."

The American seemed at a loss for words, trying to formulate in his confused mind what to say, what was going on...before he even had the chance to speak the alien's red eyes drained of their colour. His sockets were completely white, and in an instant there was a blinding bright light that blasted from the alien's eyes, showering them all in white. America reached a hand up to shield his eyes, rapidly stumbling backwards as he lost his footing, he could hear the guys shouting, asking what the hell was going on but he couldn't speak. The American felt light headed; the guy's voices were starting to fade, sounding like distant echoes. He kept his eyes squeezed tight shut beneath his hand, body beginning to tremble as he felt himself being drawn away.

The last thing he could remember was England calling his human name from a long way away; then his body went numb, and America collapsed into something soft, completely out cold.

**~0~**

America slowly opened his eyes, peeking out through his fingers. His vision was hazed over, and he couldn't tell where he was, or recall what had happened. He shifted slightly onto his back, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion when he could feel what felt like a bed beneath his body. A very familiar feeling. The American inhaled sharply, suddenly sitting bolt upright. He scrubbed at his eyes furiously for a few moments before peeling them open again; his mouth gaping open at the sight in front of him.

It was an apartment bedroom. His apartment bedroom. He was sat in his warm, comfy bed, the sunshine from Washington shining at him through the window adjacent. The door to his right no doubt led to his living room, with no beer bottles, cigarettes or disgusting mess littering his floor.

He was home.

Before he even had time to adjust to what had happened, there was a violent vibration from somewhere in his pants pocket. He reached down and pulled out his phone. His phone! The one he'd lost, the one he hadn't seen since before the whole mess occurred. He flipped it open and had a quick look through his contacts. England, Germany, Italy, his president...everyone was there! And no Mark!

America's mouth slowly stretched into a grin, he opened up the text and saw it was from the Brit;

_'America where the bloody hell are you? The meeting started 10 minutes ago! Why aren't you here? It's your bloody meeting after all.'_

America blinked slowly, not having a clue what the Brit was on about. "Huh? Meeting...oh yeah!" he remembered. Shooting up out of bed the American dived onto the floor for his jacket, yanking it on halfway out the door.

**~0~**

"Oh please England, why don't you enlighten us with your opinion." France sneered, taking a sip of wine.

England glared at him, "Oh shut up frog! At least people care what I think! No one wants to hear the ramblings of a drunk, stinking cheesy monkey!"

"You two are giving me a headache..." Germany hissed, massaging his temples.

"GUYS!" the nations all jumped in their seats at the sudden yell from the excitable America, beaming at them all from the doorway. "Oh my God I can't believe you guys are here!" he raced into the meeting room, laughing hysterically.

The guys exchanged a few looks, slowly getting to their feet. "Where were you? We've already started." Germany growled, glaring at the American.

America stopped, looking confused, "You uhh...you guys don't remember anything?"

"We remember you storming out yesterday if that's what you mean." China said, crossing his arms.

"Hai, we're sorry we upset you Mr America."

"I'm not." Germany growled, "Just hurry up und sit down America."

"Aww man I've missed being called that!" America said happily, bounding up to give the German a hug.

Germany stared down at him as if he was deranged, stiffening in his arms. "What the hell?"

America beamed, letting him go, "Come on! Everyone line up for a hug!" he called, holding out his arms. The guys remained perfectly still, eyes shifting about awkwardly. The American just laughed, lunging himself at each and every one of them, even Russia, and gave them all a big hug. "I've missed you all so much! Hey Germany." he turned to the blond, grinning at him. "You and Italy make a sweet couple, you two should get together."

Germany blushed heavily, "What?"

"America what on earth has gotten into you?" England asked in utter bewilderment.

America turned to the Brit, smirking slightly, "Hang on a second England, I think I owe you this." without warning the American scooped the Brit up in his arms, pulled him close and planted a deep kiss right on the lips. England's face went bright red as everyone stared in complete shock at the two of them kissing. America held him close for a few seconds longer before releasing him, their lips parting softly.

England stared at him, mouth gaping and eyes wide. America just beamed at him, flashing him his trademark cheery grin. The Brit shook his head slowly, "...what is wrong with you?"

America laughed, "Just...really happy to see you."

England resisted the urge to smirk, "You're an idiot...now sit down."

**~0~**

An hour or so later everyone was slowly making their way out of the meeting room after another lengthy argument. America's global warming talk was completely ignored but he actually didn't mind! He was just...so pleased to be back. England and America dawdled behind at the end of the meeting, catching each other's eyes briefly across the table. Just as Germany and Italy were leaving America called after them, "You guys really should start dating!" they both visibly blushed, hurrying out of the room as fast as they could.

America laughed slightly, turning to the Brit who was still looking utterly bewildered. "Now would you please care to explain what on earth you were doing before?"

America shrugged slightly, "Thought it was kinda obviously, I planted a bit wet one on ya."

England blushed slightly, clearing his throat, "Yes I could see that...any explanation?"

America shrugged again, laughing slightly, "...guess I've just had a lot of time to think and well...thought about how much you mean to me and all..."

England quirked an eyebrow, "...yes?"

America smirked slightly, getting to his feet as he and England slowly made their way to the door. "Just decided...it's time I go for what I want you know?"

"...and what do you want?" England asked softly, cheeks still tinged pink.

America softly placed a hand on the Brit's back, "...wanna go get a coffee?"

"You're not offering me tea?" England asked in surprise.

"You don't drink tea anywhere but your own country...right?"

England blinked in surprise, "Yes...that's right."

America smiled, holding out his hand, "Well?"

England slowly slid his hand into the American's without looking at him, "Alright, let's go."

**~0~**

"America, where did you put my coat?"

"It's in the living room, on the back of the sofa I think." America called to the Brit from his bedroom as he searched around for his shoes. He could hardly believe he'd been dating England for the past month, yet the Brit had absolutely no idea about the big adventure they'd once had. It almost saddened the American that he couldn't recall all those good times they'd had together; the America felt it best not to bring it up with any of the guys. It wasn't like they'd believe him anyway. Tony seemed to be the only one who remembered, and he wasn't best pleased with the American for destroying his device.

America finished tying his shoes and went to put away his jacket. Something fell to the floor wit a soft thud as he hung it up. The American bent over to retrieve his wallet which had fallen out of the pocket, quirking an eyebrow at the plastic card that was sticking out. Slowly he pulled it out, holding it up to his face. It was his driving license. The one he'd woken up with when he was human. American stared at it, the little picture of himself stared back.

"Did you tell Germany and Italy what time we're meeting them?" England asked as he entered the room, checking his hair in the mirror.

"Hm?" America looked up, "Oh yeah, they should be there the same time as us."

England shook his head, "I can't believe you got Germany to agree to a double date...it'll be awkward you know, I have nothing to say to the man."

America laughed slightly, "Hey you promised you'd be nice."

England rolled his eyes, moving to his side as his eye caught of the card in America's hand, "Yes, yes I know, what's that?" he took a closer look, slightly confused, "...a driver's license?"

"Uhh yeah." America muttered awkwardly, "I got it from a gag shop, you know...to seem more...human."

"Alfred Jones..." England read it slowly, his forehead creasing with slight confusion and wonder as the name sounded...so familiar. "...lovely name, America."

America chuckled, shoving it into his pant's pocket, "Thanks...what would your name be?"

England thought for a moment before shrugging, "I'm not sure...you give me a name."

America smiled softly, "How about...Arthur?"

"Arthur?"

"Yeah, Arthur...Kirkland."

England was silent for a moment, trying the name out. "Yeah...it suits me."

America smirked slightly, "It does...shall we get going then?"

"Sure." England smiled, leaning up on his tiptoes he pressed a soft kiss to the American's lips.

America smiled against his lips, gently kissing him back. "What was that for?" he asked when they softly parted.

England shrugged, "What? I can't kiss my boyfriend whenever I feel like it?"

"Not unless you want to get some, and to be honest we're already late as it is so let's save it for later okay?"

England laughed going slightly red, "Oh shut up you."

America smirked, kissing the top of his head, "Sorry, let's go babe."

"Don't call me that."

"Why?"

"You know I don't like it."

"Sorry Arthur." America said cheesily, taking his hand.

England raised an eyebrow, "Alright...Alfred." he said slightly awkwardly.

"Wow...you really can't remember anything can you?" he muttered, squeezing his hand.

"Remember what?"

"Nothing, come on let's go." America said, gently tugging him towards the front door.

England shook his head, "You are a strange one America."

America gave him a cheesy grin, "No I'm not, you're just a boring police officer!"

England stared at America as if he was mad, letting himself be dragged along, "What is with you today?"

"Nothing I already said! Just thought it'd be a cool job for you if you were a human that's all."

England looked utterly confused, "...okay."

America laughed, giving him a sideways hug as they walked. "How about me? What job would I have?"

England looked at him for a long moment, as if studying him. "Hmm...how about a race car driver?"

"Yes! I always thought that too!"

**~The End~**

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it :)<strong>

**Reviews are love :)**


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